“That’s good news, right?” Gracie asked, the sweet optimist of the group.
“We haven’t really had a, you know, discussion about what is going on yet.”
“I wouldn’t hold your breath for that unless you bring it up,” Layna said. “I mean, this group of men is notorious for falling hard for women, but being completely fucking clueless about it.”
“He got her a kitten,” Andi chimed in. “And a piglet.”
“What?” I asked when Vi and Gracie shared a smile.
“He’s had this working theory for ages that when men fuck up, or when they want to show a chick they care, that there should be an animal involved,” Vi explained. “Mini goats and mini cows, in particular.”
“I made it clear that farm animals wouldn’t be appropriate,” I said.
“Hence the kitten,” Layna said. “That’s Dezi’s logic for you anyway.”
“Well, look who it is,” Layna said, making me turn to find another woman walking up to the table.
“Are you happy?” she asked, dropping down into a seat. “I have a shitton of work to do, just so you know.”
“So does Willa, but she’s not bitching,” Vi said, rolling her eyes.
“Hope?” I asked, looking at her.
“Yeah. Sorry they’re a bunch of fucking kidnappers,” she said, waving at the table.
“We invited her to brunch!” Gracie insisted.
“Right. Like she thought she had any choice in the matter,” Hope said. “She felt obligated because we’re friends with Dezi.”
“I mean… she’s not wrong,” I agreed. “But I wouldn’t have come if I really didn’t want to,” I assured them, since Gracie looked a little horrified that I was there halfway against my will.
“Curious minds want to know,” Hope said, stealing Willa’s coffee cup, and taking a long sip. “Does he stop eating for long enough to get the job done, or…”
“Seriously, what is with that man and food?” Layna asked.
“He especially likes it if it is home-cooked, too,” Vi said.
“I think that Dezi has had a hard life,” Gracie said, immediately taking the vibe from lighthearted to a little somber. “And he’s never had someone to cook for him. So that inner child of his is craving it.”
That actually made a lot of sense.
I was not someone who knew how to cook. My own neglected inner child had never been given the chance.
But, oddly enough, I had the sudden urge to learn how to.
That wasn’t like me. I wasn’t a woman who bent herself into different shapes to fit the mold that any given man wanted.
I’d always been unapologetically myself, and anyone who didn’t like that could just keep moving along.
I’d always thought it was kind of pathetic when a woman started seeing a guy and suddenly adopted all of his hobbies and interests. Until, inevitably, they broke up and she literally never spoke of or engaged in those interests or hobbies again.
That said, I guess it was different to feign interest in something because someone else was into it, and wanting to learn how to do something as a sort of gift to someone you were starting to care about.
“Okay, this went a little dark,” Vi said, looking around the table. “This is why we need Billie here. She would do something ridiculous and ask Theo if Dezi goes down on her often enough, and it would stop being so awkward.”
“Oh, come on,” Layna said, smirking. “You can not convince me that that man doesn’t love to eat,” she said, making even Gracie let out a small laugh.
“Dezi told me that if Billie found out that I don’t have a vibrator, she would drag me to a sex store in town,” I told them, finding them surprisingly easy to open up to. Maybe because they all had such a relaxed, comfortable vibe with each other.
“Oh, you want to know some horror stories about Billie’s lack of boundaries,” Vi said, pointing a thumb over at Hope.
“Please. I am too sober to hash up all that trauma.”
“There was a naked yoga retreat,” Gracie supplied.
“The things I’ve seen,” Hope groaned, pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes like she could use pressure to make the images go away.
“I went to a full moon circle with her once,” Layna declared, and it seemed like news to the rest of the women. “We all stripped naked on the beach. It was nice, being all tits-out under the stars with no men around.”
“No men is the best-case scenario in all things,” Vi said, nodding.
“You two,” Gracie said, rolling her eyes.
“Three,” Hope said, raising her hand.
“I was one of you,” I told them. “And look at me now.”
“Yeah, but, like, Dezi is one of the rare good ones,” Vi insisted.
“What? Was he off-limits to you guys because you’re princesses?” I asked.
“I mean, some of us are,” Gracie said, waving to herself, Vi, Layna, Kit, and Hope. Which meant Willa and Ria were not. That was interesting to know. “But, no. I mean, Dezi is kind of attractive…”