Nyktos nodded. “I could still take you as my Consort, but you would not be recognized as such by the other Courts.”
Meaning whatever protection the position offered would have no longer existed. Neither the gods nor the draken could defend me against a Primal. If one of the other Primals or Kolis himself seized me, Nyktos would have no support if he retaliated—and I knew he would. “Will he do that?”
“If you asked me that yesterday, I would’ve said no. Now? Anything is possible.”
Anything…
My heart started beating in a way that made breathing difficult. My thoughts raced. Muscles tensed. “What if I…what if I look like Sotoria?” I whispered.
“He will not touch you.” Nyktos cupped my cheek, and my eyes closed at the faint trace of energy moving from his fingertips to my skin. “I will not allow it.”
The safety in his promise, the security of it, threatened to wrap around me. It was already beginning to calm my heart, and I didn’t want to fight it. I wanted to rely on the promise. On him.
Nyktos’s forehead touched my temple, and some of the rigidness eased from my muscles. I started to relax into him. “He will not have a chance to learn if you look like her.”
Eyes flying open, I jerked back. “Nyktos—”
“You will not go anywhere near him.”
My stomach lurched. “You just told me what happened when one delays in answering Kolis’s summons. I will not be the reason formoredeath.”
“You have never been the reason.”
“Bullshit.”
“Kolis has been the reason. Not you. Not your actions. Ithas been him. Always him.” Wisps of eather stirred in his eyes. “You need to understand that, Sera. You are not at fault.”
It was hard to accept that when Kolis had been reacting tomyactions.
Unable to stay still, I pulled on his hold. Nyktos’s arm fell away. I rose, backing away from him. “I will not hide from his summons, Nyktos.”
His hand fell to the arm of his chair. “And I will not allow you to be in danger.”
“I’m already in danger! I’ve lived my whole life that way.” The crack in my chest threatened to spread and deepen as I stared at the empty bookshelves. “If my refusal to answer his summons caused something to happen—for people to be hurt or killed—I couldn’t…” I shoved the hair back from my face as I turned away from him. “I couldn’t deal with that.”
“Is that really why you are determined to answer his summons?”
Slowly, I faced him. “What other reason could there be?”
“Isn’t this what you wanted?” His grip on the arm of the chair tightened, bleaching his knuckles. “To get to Kolis?”
I opened my mouth, but it struck me that I should be celebrating this. Not once—not from the moment Attes had delivered his message until now—had it even occurred to me that Nyktos wouldn’t be forced into taking me as his Consort tomorrow. I could come face-to-face with Kolis without the risks of escaping. And if I looked like Sotoria, my duty would be even easier to achieve. Not only lives would be saved. Entirerealmswould be. I should be thrilled.
But I wasn’t.
I felt anything but that. A wild mix of emotion brimmed beneath the surface, causing the crack in my chest to weaken even further. I was scared. Horrified. Angry. Desperate. On the verge of losing control—
I sucked in deep gulps of air, shutting it all down. Silencing the storm much like I had when I donned the veil.
Nyktos hadn’t taken his eyes off me. His stare was as hard as it had been earlier. “This way, you wouldn’t have to try to escape, would you?”
The breath I took fell short as the back of my neck burned. “Fuck you.”
A muscle flexed in his jaw. I thought he might have flinched, but I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t care. I turned stiffly, leaving his office before the crack in my chest exploded again.
Before I lost control.
Nektas was waiting in the hall when I stormed out of Nyktos’s office. I didn’t see Ector as I turned, walking past the draken. I swallowed a curse as Nektas fell into step beside me.