“You did.”
His chin dipped. “And yet you did exactly what I asked younotto do and went out onto the Rise, risking not only your life but also Saion’s.”
“You didn’t ask that of me. Youdemandedthat of me.”
“Same thing.”
“It absolutely is not the same thing, and how did I risk Saion’s life? He chose to follow me—”
“He had no choice in the matter, as he was tasked with keepingyouinside,” he said. Over his shoulder, I saw Rhain and Ector steadily slinking toward the doors. “He’s lucky I’m not in the habit of punishing another for someone else’s misdeeds.”
Frustration rose, joining the anxious hum. “The only one committing misdeeds at this moment is you.”
Nyktos’s brows flew up. “I cannot wait to hear your rationale on this. I’m sure it involves something along the lines of:I do what I want because I can and fuck the consequences.”
Right then, something shifted from deep within thatcrack. Something absolute. I didn’t reach for the veil of nothingness as a raw, volatile mix of anger and determination pounded through me. “From the moment I learned that I no longer had to answer to a duty I never had a choice in accepting, I became my own person. Someone who gets to make their own choices. I will not be ordered about and told what I can and cannot do as if I have no power or control over my life, no matter what risks I may be taking. I amdoneliving like that.”
Nyktos withdrew, taking several steps back. The wisps of eather slowed in his eyes, evoking a small change in the cold set of his features. A tense silence followed until he said, “One of you please retrieve a bowl of clean water and a cloth for me. The other needs to leave.”
“You know, I think I’ll get that stuff for you and then make myself…scarce.” Rhain backed up, grabbing Ector’s arm. “Come, be scarce with me.”
“That’s probably a good idea.” Ector pivoted. “He’s got the scary face again.”
He kind of did.
Nyktos waited until we were alone. “Someone has to worry about something happening to you since you don’t. You never do.” Nyktos took a measured step forward. “You want to make choices no matter the risks? The problem with that is you don’t ever think about those risks. Or the consequences.”
“That is not—” I sucked in a sharp breath. Nyktos was suddenly standing no more than a foot from me. “Can you not do that?”
“Why?” He stared down at me, the wisps of eather growing brighter in his eyes again. “Don’t tell me it scares you.”
“It doesn’t scare me. It justannoysme.”
His lips twisted into a tight smile. “Of course, not. You don’t have the instinct that warns most when they’re in grave danger.”
“Not true.” I started to cross my arms, but the tug on the wound along my waist stopped me. “My instincts work completely fine. Earlier they warned me that you’d be angry with my decision to go out onto the Rise.”
His eyes narrowed into thin, glowing slits. “Have you ever tried, oh, I don’t know? Listening to it? Valuing your life?”
“I’ve never really had the opportunity to do so, now, have I?” I snapped.
Nyktos went completely still, all except his eyes. A long moment passed, and I wished I had his ability to read emotions, to gain some sort of insight into what he was feeling or thinking. He turned then, walking stiffly to the credenza and picking up a crystal decanter full of amber liquid. “I know I said this before, but I mean no offense when I say you don’t value your life,” he said, pouring a glass, stopping, and then pouring a second. “It’s truly not meant to be an insult.”
I snorted. “Sure sounds like one when you say it.”
“Then I apologize. I’m sorry.”
My head jerked. “You’re seriously apologizing to me?”
He came back to me, offering me a glass. “You don’t think you deserve one?”
“Uh…” I thought about that as I took the drink, unsure if I did or not. I shrugged.
His lips curled faintly. “Well, you have it anyway.” He downed the whiskey in one swallow. “I’m trying to understand.”
“Understand what?” I took a little less-impressive gulp, but half of the whiskey was gone when I lowered my glass.
He sat his glass behind one of his swords, dragging the edge of his fangs over his lower lip. “How you’ve become who you are.”