Telling me what he wished for.
Ash and I shadowstepped into Massene, a village not too far from the capital of Irelone, the following afternoon.
We arrived in a forest on the outskirts of Cauldra Manor in a blink of an eye. Maybe two. It had felt like the last time, but a strange nervousness invaded my system, making me jittery.
“That was quick,” I whispered.
“It was.” His gaze searched mine.
“I’m guessing it wasn’t supposed to feelthatquick to me,” I surmised.
Ash was still holding me tightly, my feet several inches off the ground, chest to chest, heart to heart. His was beatingfaster than mine. “We traveled even farther than the last time. And between realms. It should’ve knocked you out.”
“The embers,” I said, sighing. “I know. They’re getting stronger.”
Lowering me to the ground, he drew his hand up the length of my braid. “They’ll be out of you soon.”
Hopefully, I thought, but I didn’t say that. I didn’t want to give life to the possibility that we wouldn’t find Delfai or that he wouldn’t be able to help us. “So, what are we going to do? Walk straight up to the manor’s entrance and demand to be taken to the Princess?”
“Sounds like a good enough plan to me.”
I raised a brow. “Really?”
“Do you think they will refuse a Primal’s request?” Ash gave my braid a gentle tug.
My forehead creased. “You’re going to reveal who you are?”
“It makes things a hell of a lot easier, doesn’t it?”
“It does.”
A grin appeared, beating back the shadows that had gathered under his eyes, and I felt the curve of his lips tug at my heart. “Plus, there’s some level of amusement to be had when mortals realize they’re in the presence of a Primal.”
Some of the anxiousness eased as I laughed. “I bet it will involve a lot of screaming and yelling.”
“And praying.”
“This should be entertaining.” I stepped back.
Ash’s hand slid to mine, stopping me. The feel of his skin being warm once more sent a pleasant thrill through me. “It’s going to be okay, Sera.”
My breath caught. “Am I projecting again?”
“You were.” The eather had calmed in his eyes.
“What…what does anxiety taste like?” I asked.
“Like too-heavy cream.” He swept his thumb over the top of my hand. “What does it feel like to you?”
Pressing my lips together, I thought about how to explain it. “Like it tastes to you. Like something…too thick to swallow. Suffocating.” Uncomfortable, I looked down at our entwined fingers. The golden imprint along the top of his hand shimmered in the soft, dappled sunlight. I shook my head as we stood in silence. “It’s this…constant feeling that something bad is about to go down, even when nothing is happening. And when there’s a chance that things can go bad? It becomes the only thing thatcanhappen.” My throat thickened. “I know that probably makes no sense, but it’s like a crushing weight on your chest, and it’s always there, even when you get used to it and don’t really feel it. It’s still there, just waiting. And I…I don’t know. That’s how it feels.”
“I get it,” he said, his throat working on a swallow. “I don’t know how it feels firsthand, but I understand what you’re saying.” His thumb kept moving over the top of my hand, tracing the lines of the imprint. “I wish I could do something to change how it feels for you.”
The swift, swelling motion in my chest threatened to lift me to the needled branches. My cheeks warmed, and I wasn’t sure if it was from what I’d shared or his words. His understanding. His desire to make it better. I wasn’t entirely embarrassed by what I’d shared. I just wasn’t used to talking about it. But it felt…good to do so. Almost like a chunk of the weight upon my chest had eased. I imagined that was a little like how he’d felt after speaking about Veses.
“I do think it will be okay,” he continued quietly, his gaze catching and holding mine. “We’ll find out how to remove the embers, and we’ll be successful. I believe this.”
I inhaled sharply, wanting to believe that, too, but the dread was there. It had been there when I awoke and was now nestled deep, along with the embers. For once, I didn’t think it had anything to do with the anxiety, but I nodded. “I guess it’s time to go scare some people.”