I would lose myself in days.
I sat on the edge of the couch, only because I thought I might fall down if I didn’t.
“You see, his Court is lawless and yet full of unknown rules that, if broken, result in death. There is no other way to explain it. Only the cruelest, most manipulative survive in Dalos.” Her fingers twisted the chain. “But his favorites were always protected—and, yes, he often had more than one at a time. Every need or want, except for freedom, was provided for. Decadent food. Jewels. Lush furs.” Her fingers stilled. “No one was allowed to speak to us. Touch us. He routinely killed his own guards when he believed they looked too long in our direction. He never…he never forced himself on his favorites. Barely even touched them. Not even the ones who offered themselves to him as a means of escape.”
I hadn’t expected that.
“He just wanted us there, like pretty adornments that he could visit whenever he wanted to gaze upon them. Those who could do naught but listen to him prattle on endlessly for hours, about how Eythos was the real villain and how unfairly he’d been treated.” She rolled her eyes. “Fates, there were times when Ihonestly would’ve preferred to take a dagger to my ears than listen to him. But Kolis…he could be deceptively charming when he wanted to be. Enough that you started to relax around him, maybe even let down your guard, even though you knew better. I think that is one of the worst things about him. His ability to cause someone to doubt what they know to be true. To somehow be surprised when that charming veneer vanishes. You see him for what you always knew him to be as he throws you to the serpents.”
“What…what do you mean? About the serpents,” I asked, half-afraid of the answer.
“Other gods. Primals. Godlings. Those who serve him. Honestly, I shouldn’t even refer to them as serpents. That’s an insult to the serpents.”
“Actually, I don’t think you can insult serpents. They’re the worst.”
Aios cracked a grin, but it faded quickly. “Everyone in his Court knows that Kolis eventually grows tired of his favorites. So, they wait while you’re showered with things they want—while their friends or even family are killed for the crime of looking in your direction. They know they’ll get their due. The moment a favorite got their freedom was often the last moment of their life. The things they did to people who had done nothing wrong—whose only crime was becoming the unwilling object of Kolis’s fixation…” She inhaled sharply as my stomach continued to churn. “And Kolis, he did nothing. Not when they were beaten. Raped. Killed. That is what he took pleasure in. Watching those he’d chosen and cherished be stripped to nothing. If you survived the initial release, then the real fun began. You were watched by his most trusted—and they were allowed to do whatever they wanted. They could kill you if that pleased them. You had no rights. It was like a game. Seeing how long they survived. There were often bets. Once, one of his cast-off favorites became pregnant. It was not her choice. Nor was it when I saw Kolis take the babe from her arms and plunge a dagger through the poor child’s heart.”
I pressed the back of my hand against my mouth. Bile rose. “How…?” I cleared my throat. “How did you escape?”
“I survived,” she said, and the horror of what her survival must’ve entailed haunted those moments of silence. “And whenthe opportunity presented itself for me to leave Dalos, I gutted one of his favored guards and made my escape.”
My lips twisted in a smile of vindictive pleasure.
“I see you approve of that.”
“I do. I hope it hurt.”
The glow of eather shone brightly in her eyes. “It did.”
“I’m…I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I can’t even comprehend how someone could do or allow that. Any of that.”
“Most cannot, and for that we should be grateful.”
I nodded. “You are…you are very strong. I hope you know that. But I wish you didn’t have to know.”
“It doesn’t feel like that some days, but thank you.” Her chin lifted. “It was a long time ago. I’ve had time to process what was done to me. I’m lucky to have those around me such as Bele and Nyktos.”
But that didn’t mean the horrors didn’t still find her, and she had to be revisiting them now.
Aios came forward, kneeling and clasping my hand. “I didn’t tell you that so you’d feel sorry for me.”
“I know.” I squeezed her fingers.
“I told you because I knew no other way to tell you what I know to be true—just in case you decide to follow this destiny you believe to be yours. It doesn’t matter what soul you carry inside you.” Aios lifted our joined hands. “What does is whether or not Kolis is capable of loving again, even hisgraeca. And he’s not. There’s nothing but rot and decay where hiskardiashould be. Kolis has no weakness.”
Chapter 33
Aios left shortly after that, but the horror she and far too many others had experienced lingered in the chamber as I waited for Nyktos.
Truly sickened on a mental and physical level, I closed my eyes. I didn’t need details on how she’d survived to know that Kolis and every single individual who’d taken part in hersurvivalshould be destroyed until nothing was left of them—not even ashes.
I normally wasn’t in the business of stacking up and comparing losses to see whose were greater, but it was hard not to in this instance. Nothing I’d ever experienced in my life could compare to what Aios, Gemma, and countless others had suffered.
Dampness clung to my lashes as I forced myself to take a long and deep breath. I took what Aios had shared and tucked it away in the same place I’d hidden my emotions. I had to. It was the only way I could ignore the voice whispering in my thoughts.
You’re his weakness.
Aios had to be wrong. No one was without weakness.