“Not exactly. Well, when my dad ran things, that might’ve been a somewhat accurate description. He built his empire on gambling, protection rackets, fencing stolen goods. Like a gang, but a very sophisticated one.”
“He did it all by himself?”
“No. Anton Cutter, the man you met, was his partner. Together they went from young street punks to two of the most powerful criminals in the city.”
“By selling stolen goods?”
“When they got older they realized the money wasn’t in low-level crime. They moved into the finance world, laundering money for the kinds of people who earned in less-than-legitimate ways. Made millions, then billions. Eventually he started Ryder as a way to give his business a good front. And that meant even more money.”
“So…he was a crook. And you’re one, too.”
“I’m trying to change that.”
She snorted. “Why? Tired of the money?”
“No. Because I saw firsthand what kind of price you pay for living this sort of life.”
“What, had to break one kneecap too many?”
“No.” The word dropped from my mouth like a ball of cold lead. “My wife was killed.”
April whipped her head over, her eyes locking with mine.
“What do you mean? I thought Willa’s mom died of cancer?”
I shook my head. “That’s what I told her, what I tell anyone who asks. Seemed like a good cover story.”
“Then what really happened?”
Normally, I wouldn’t react well to someone prying into my personal business, especially a topic so sensitive. But April deserved to know. And more than that, there was something about her, something that made me want to take down my barriers and tell her everything.
“My father had just died, and I’d been appointed CEO of Ryder. I’d always planned to take the company legit, but I knew it would take some time. Some upstart gang had moved into town, wanted to make a name for themselves by taking out the head of the most powerful criminal organization in the city—me.”
April said nothing, listening intently.
“My wife knew nothing of the company’s illegal dealings.” I sighed, the memories of the day flooding back with their usual startling clarity. “It was a fall morning, the air crisp and clean. I was in the study, going over some business reports. Willa was too young to know what was going on—how thankful I was for that, I can’t even begin to say.”
More silence from April as she listened.
“Megan, that was her name. Megan wanted to go for a drive to pick up some breakfast for us. But I knew it was because what she really wanted was to go for a drive. I’d met her during a business trip upstate, and she’d never been one for the city, never stopped missing being able to hop in her car and drive.”
I shook my head. “Everything bagel, ham and swiss?”
“Huh?” asked April.
“The last words she said to me. So…normal. And I didn’t even look up at her as I mumbled a ‘sure’ and turned my attention back to my work. Minutes later, the house shook, a roar sounding out from the garage. I ran down to see the car in flames, Megan at the wheel.”
“Oh my god,” said April, her voice soft.
“Car bomb—one that was intended for me. But the job had been botched. Rather than killing the driver instantly, the small explosion that rocked the car had the effect of a high-speed collision. Megan was still alive, and I rushed her to the hospital. She spent a week in a coma, one long week, before the doctors told me there was nothing they could do. I didn’t want to pull the plug, and nature made the decision for me. She died in her sleep, never having woken up from the accident.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t deserve anyone’s pity. I lied to Megan about my life, what sort of business I was involved in. And it cost me my wife, cost Willa her mother. And now, here I am making the same mistake with you.”
April, not saying a word, reached over and took my hand. But I quickly moved it away. “I don’t deserve that. I brought you into this world of mine, and nearly lost you, too. I care about you, April. I care about you more than I realized. And you were almost gone, along with my daughter.”
“I care about you too, Jason.”