He was speaking again. ‘I’ve only just been released from hospital...’ he took a sharp, harsh breath ‘...you left me a letter. I—’
She cut across him, voice twisted. Anguished. ‘I had to tell you myself—not just leave it to the doctors!’
Something flashed across his gaunt face. ‘I know,’ he said. ‘I understand.’
There was emotion in his voice now...emotion she did not want to hear. For it was the same emotion that was in her—one that could not be assuaged.
‘But what I donotunderstand—’ He broke off. Took another harsh, heavy breath, pinioning her with his gaze. As dark as obsidian...as searing as it had ever been...
Another emotion knifed through her—an old one...so old. And that, too, could never be assuaged...
He spoke again. His voice flat. ‘Before I left the hospital I had a visitor,’ he said. His eyes were behind that mask now. He paused, then said, ‘Your cousin.’
‘Mia?’Disbelief was naked in Ariana’s voice. More than disbelief.
He gave a brief nod. ‘She came to tell me some things.’ His mouth compressed, and the expression in his eyes changed. ‘Things you never thought to tell me.’
She swallowed. Unable to speak.
Luca’s hand slammed down on the arm of his wheelchair. ‘Why?Why did you not tell me? Tell me that it was Mia who begged you to stop the wedding!’ His voice was scathing. ‘Becauseshedidn’t have the guts to do so herself!’
‘That’s not fair!’ Ariana’s defence of her cousin was automatic, immediate. ‘Mia was distraught—’
‘Distraught?She gave no sign of it! Do you understand me? Not one sign!’
Ariana shut her eyes, then opened them again. ‘Mia’s always hidden her feelings.’ She swallowed. ‘It’s her way of coping with...with difficult situations...’
Luca stared at her. ‘Coping withwhat, precisely? Being her grandfather’s darling? What the hell was ever “difficult” about that?’
Ariana’s face worked. ‘You don’t understand. Our grandfather smothered her...suffocated her. She was his favoured grandchild, but only if she was exactly the kind of grandchild he wanted her to be. She could never say no to what he wanted. Including...’ her voice dropped low ‘...accepting your proposal of marriage. Because she knew,’ she said sadly, ‘it would make our grandfather happy. Then...then she felt trapped by it.’
‘So she got you to do her dirty work for her and get her out of it. And you took the fall for it.’ His voice was condemning.
Ariana swallowed. A sense of unreality was sweeping over her...to see Luca again...
She tried to focus, to keep only to listening to what he was saying. ‘I had to find a way to stop the wedding without our grandfather realising Mia had never wanted to marry you. So that he would blame me instead.’
Luca’s eyes were on her. It seemed unbearable to her that they should be.
‘But it was not only your grandfather who blamed you, was it?’ His voice was just as harsh, just as heavy. ‘Not just he who accused you of acting out of vindictive jealousy.’
She looked away, giving a shrug. In her chest her heart was thudding. Her throat was tightening.
‘Why did you not tell me the truth? That Mia never wanted to marry me!’
She could hear his incomprehension—and more. But what ‘more’ she did not know. Her eyes went back to him. She could see a nerve working in his cheek, haggard though it was.
‘I... I didn’t want your anger targeting her,’ she said. She swallowed again. ‘I knew I could take your anger, Luca. I’ve taken my grandfather’s, so I could take yours. I’m strong—not like Mia. I wanted to protect her.’
‘So you let me destroy you,’ he said slowly. ‘Blameyou. Accuseyou.’
She gave another shrug. It seemed so long ago now, in another life. What did it matter any longer? How could it when...?
‘Oh, God, Luca—I’m so desperately, desperately sorry!’ The words broke from her, and then her voice dropped, became intense and sombre. ‘The guilt will be with me to my dying day. I caused that crash—it was my fault! And when the nurse told me—’
She turned away, unable to bear seeing him. Her breathing was ragged as she wrapped her arms around herself.
There was a sound behind her, but the blood drumming in her ears deafened her to it. And then, as she stood there, shaking with the horror of what she had done to him, hating herself more than it was possible to measure, she heard him say her name.