She broke off again.
‘Except?’ There was a new note in Luca’s voice.
Ariana only gave that half-shrug again.
‘My aunt and uncle were killed in a car crash when I was eight and Mia five. After that—’ She swallowed and then went on, resignation in her voice. ‘I reacted badly—I became “wilful and difficult”, as my grandfather calls it. I was packed off to my mother, who was on her third husband by then, and living in Paris. She had absolutely no wish for me to be there, no interest in me. I was a nuisance to her and her latest husband, so I was returned to thepalazzo—where my behaviour got even worse. I was sent away to school. A convent, where I was a boarder. I came home for Christmas, that was all, when I was allowed to see Mia—allowed to see that she had become my grandfather’s most adored granddaughter. So pretty, so gentle, so pleasing in her manners...like a little doll.’
‘And you resented her for that.’ There was a harshness in Luca’s voice.
Ariana did not answer. Resentment was the last thing she’d felt. She’d felt only a heart-wrenching, pitiful envy of Mia, so loved by her grandfather. Whereas she herself...
Unwanted—rejected. By my father, my mother, my grandfather. None of them ever wanted me. Cared anything about me.
She stopped remembering. There was no point to it. No point in explaining to Luca or even trying to. She knew what he thought of her. He would not change that...whatever pitiful tale she might trot out to him.
So she just gave another shrug. Went on eating...
‘So...’ Luca’s voice came again ‘...if you weren’t going to your mother, where were you going?’
‘Ireland,’ Ariana lied.
She didn’t want him knowing about her plan to live in London. Didn’t want him to know anything about Mia—that she had married another man, preferring Matt to him.
If he knew the truth about why I stopped the wedding—because his bride was desperate for a way to avoid marrying him—would he seek to punish her as he has punished me?
It was a chilling thought—and she knew she must do all she could to protect her gentle, fearful cousin. Luca Farnese could crush her and Matt like eggshells...
‘To the Irish side of your family?’ he probed.
‘No,’ she said shortly. ‘I know nothing about them.’
He frowned. ‘Your father...?’
‘I have no idea about him—he could be dead for all I know. Like I say, he was an alcoholic. I don’t know of any relatives, and even if I did I wouldn’t want to know them.’
‘So why go to Ireland?’
She shrugged again. ‘It’s somewhere to go.’
She saw him reach for his wine, a frown still on his face. ‘Why leave Italy? Your work is based here.’
‘Was,’she corrected. She set down her knife and fork. Looked straight at him. ‘I won’t be repaying your loan. So the bank will foreclose on me.’
‘Obviously that won’t apply now!’ His voice was sharp. Then he set down his wine glass. Looked straight at her. ‘Things have changed between us, Ariana. That much is obvious. I won’t object to your continuing to work in moderation—for a while, at least. Afterwards, when the baby is born... Well, we shall see. Working mothers are not, after all, uncommon.’
She picked up her cutlery again, resumed eating.
‘I’m not marrying you, Luca, and whether I am a working mother or not will be none of your concern. I won’t be living in Italy, and I won’t be asking for, let alone accepting, any child maintenance. You won’t be involved in any way.’
She did not let emotion enter her voice. There was no reason for it to do so. She was simply stating what was going to happen.
His voice cut across her grim, bleak thoughts.
‘Do you want me to contest custody?’
CHAPTER TEN
ITWASCALMLYSAID. Dispassionately said.