I start chewing on my thumbnail, feeling like an idiot for waiting this long to get out of town.
“What were you thinking, Kara? You went to the fucking cops?” he barks.
Not correcting him, because I’m still not sure what has happened to Demetri, I pretend as though that’s exactly what went down.
“I’m not wrong about this Drex. He killed my mother, and he probably killed yours too. Are you really so blind you can’t see it? How does he have everyone fooled when he doesn’t even try to hide what a monster he is?” I shout, tears teetering on the edges of my eyelids.
He curses before pushing a hand through his hair and pacing.
“I’ve got you a car. Cash is in the back. A couple of burner phones are in there too. You need to get rid of your phone immediately. Kara, you have to get out of here, and you need to do it now.”
“Come with me,” I say quietly, trying not to sound like I’m begging. “I don’t even have a driver’s license, Drex. What am I supposed to do on my own?”
The look he gives me is the most humane expression I’ve ever seen on his face, and he’d never let our father see it for fear that he’d be called weak.
It’s agony. He’s torn.
He doesn’t believe me, but he doesn’t want to send me off on my own.
“I can’t,” he says, not surprising me.
It’s my second rejection of the day. One by lover and one by brother.
The club has them both.
And I’m just the spoiled brat stirring up unnecessary trouble in their lives. The lives they love. The lives they appreciate.
Never mind if it’s all a lie.
It’s easier to hide behind the lie than to fight for the truth.
Standing taller and holding back the tears, I nod like I get it, unable to speak.
“Go. Now. Axle, Dash, and Snake are in charge of this area. When your car passes, you’ll be moving into Sledge’s territory. The map with your route out of town is in the passenger seat. Understand? Even if they catch you, they’ll let you go. But as long as you be cool and drive naturally, they’ll never think to look for that car, and they won’t know which direction you went. Got it?”
Numbly, I nod again, not saying a word.
He grabs the back of my head, pulling me to him roughly, and I remain limp in his arms as my brother hugs me for the first time in my life. We’re not a family of huggers, obviously, so I know this is the last time he ever plans to see me.
I’m being cast out.
Let go.
All to be forgotten.
It hurts like hell.
But I don’t cry.
He leaves, and I calmly gather my things, listening to the roar of his motorcycle as it revs to life and peals out. I walk down the stairs of the motel with unhurried movements, and walk to the car that beeps when I press the unlock button.
It’s not a fancy car or an old beater. It’s right in the middle, though I can’t tell you the make or model, because I’m too numb to be observant.
I do as instructed, driving the path he traced out of town for me, never getting panicked again because I’m too busy not feeling anything.
It isn’t until I’m two states away and borrowing a gas station bathroom that all the emotion hits me at once. I slide down against the wall as my chest caves in on itself when reality crashes into me like a train.
And I give myself five minutes of solid sobbing in the public restroom, ignoring the concerned women who fail to get the strange crying girl to speak.
After that, I clean up and get out before the cops get called.
I don’t cry again.
At least not over the two men who betrayed me when it mattered the most.
Chapter 1
RUSH
“Anything?” Drex asks me when I answer his weekly call.
The weekly calls only started about a month ago, even though I’ve been at this particular job for much longer.
If you’d have told me a year ago that I’d be talking weekly to Drex about a girl we avoided speaking about for years, I’d have shot you in both knees just to piss you off as much as you’d pissed me off with such an insinuation.
Yet here I am, doing exactly that, and no one is mourning their shot kneecaps either.
It’s all been some kind of fucked up mashing of lives over the past year.
“Same as always on her end. Work first thing in the mornings, next she hits the gym, and after that she heads home and starts her nightly ritual of doing random shit. Tonight’s random thing is stringing popcorn on fishing wire.”
He sighs like he’s not amused. “Some days I’m certain he’s found her and is toying with us. Some days I don’t think he has a clue if she’s alive or dead. Some days I think he’s forgotten about her altogether. I hate these head games. You never know what Herrin’s next play will be. I’m not willing to risk her.”