“You’re as far from a rebel as anyone I’ve ever met.”
“My grandmother explained something important to me. The rebels will never do a damn thing. They can’t stop the mists, which is the only thing that traps us here. We can run, if we want, but where will we go? Out there, where the Mist King seeks to destroy us all? If I fall in line, Oberon will do nothing to hurt my daughters. I would do anything to protect you, do you understand? And as long as that’s the reality of our world, we need to do what it takes to survive.”
“That means obeying the king who murders anyone who dares question him,” I said through clenched teeth.
A tense smile flashed across her face. “At least you understand, even if you can’t bring yourself to agree with it. Maybe in time you’ll see.”
I pushed up from the chair. “If you believe all that, why would you ever want your daughters to marry him? I can understand falling in line and working in the fields and smiling when the fae give commands. But if you see him the same way I do, how could you have decided to have usforthe king?”
“Oh, Tessa.” She palmed my face, her eyelids fluttering shut. “I did not have a choice.”
Blinking, I stepped back, my legs knocking into the chair.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I never wanted you to know, but I can see it’s best if I no longer hide it from you. The king commanded every couple of the right age to produce two heirs for him in preparation for this Festival of Light. Twenty-six years ago. Some had sons, of course, but that’s neither here nor there. We did what our king commanded, and we have to do it now. Or he’ll murder us all.”
Blood rushed through my ears, and my eyes instinctively searched for an exit path, a way out of this conversation. I didn’t want to hear any more. I couldn’t. My parents hadn’tchosento have me. Hearing the way my mother spoke, I could tell she wouldn’t have, if the choice had been up to her.
A sob choking the back of my throat, I pushed past her and hurried toward the stairs, my book left behind. Words were often my escape, but they’d do me little good right now. I could only imagine how the ink would blur, my eyes dripping tears onto the precious parchment.
“Tessa,” my mother called after me, her voice strained. “Please. Don’t run before we’ve finished this conversation.”
“I’ve heard enough,” I managed to choke out.
My feet hit the stairs.
“I just wanted you to understand my heart.”
Hands fisting, I paused. I couldn’t bring myself to glance over my shoulder and see her crumpled face. I could hear the expression in the tone of her voice. “There’s nothing more to say. Now, let me be. I have a festival to prepare for, because it seems I have no other choice. All hail the fucking king.”
* * *
Val perched on my bed, her boots laced up tight, the blue gemstone hanging from the gold chain around her neck. “Why in light’s name are you wearing that ridiculous contraption?”
I glanced down at the puffy gown. It was a pearly white thing that edged past my toes, with gauzy sleeves that stopped just below my elbows. Lace wove together for the bodice, and a deep V dove between my breasts. Mother had been sewing it for months.
“I feel utterly ridiculous,” I muttered.
“You look it, too.”
“Lovely, thank you.” I knelt, lifted the bottom hem, and slipped out my wooden dagger from where I’d strapped it to my ankle. With a smile, I pointed it right at her heart. “Fancy saying that again?”
Her jaw dropped, and she sprang from the bed. Hurrying over to the door, she slammed it shut and heaved as she slumped against it. Her words came out as a hiss between her teeth. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Where did you get that? Do you want to get yourself killed?”
“Stop being so dramatic.” Rolling my eyes, I tucked the dagger back into the sheath and dropped the gown. “No one will ever know it’s there.”
“The king will find out,” she whispered. “He knows everything. And after what happened the other night at the chasm? You can’t risk this, Tessa. What’s it even for? Are you going to kill him when he chooses his bride?”
Not a bad idea, but…he’d be surrounded by soldiers and other elite fae. Killing him during the Festival of Light would definitely make a statement, but even I understood how impossible that was.
“Protection,” I replied. “I don’t want to be unarmed in case he decides to make an example out of me in front of everyone.”
Storm clouds rolled through her eyes. “You really think he would do that?”
I shrugged, trying to mask the icy blast of fear in my veins. The truth was, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about my encounter with the king. Why had he let me go? What did he have planned for me? When would be the perfect time for him to press a dagger against my throat? I’d wanted to ask the captain what he thought, but the nights had passed in a peaceful, dreamless sleep. The only person I could ask was myself.
And I’d come to an uncomfortable conclusion.
The Festival of Light.