“You’re infuriating, woman.No. Youtellme what I’m doing. It drives me mad.” I boop her nose to try to diffuse the tension. I speak softly, “Aren’t we in the same boat? Don’t we have a couple of passengers now?”
Ronni groans. “God, I’m awful.”
“Mostly, you’re wonderful. The kindest and gentlest woman in the world. I’m begging you to work on this issue.” I pull her up from her seat and hug her tightly.
“I was so mad, Connor. I felt like my kids were bonding with someone else. I couldn’t stand it.” She melts into me. “I do stand behind my gut feeling about her, though.”
I speak quietly into her hair, “Next time, try ‘Connor, I’d like to talk to you about serious concerns I have about our nanny.’ Or ‘Connor, I’d like to sell the house, I need a change, what do you think?’ Or ‘Connor, wouldn’t it be great to spend an extended amount of time in Seattle while your band is trying to come out of hiatus?’”
“What if I told you I knew what I was doing and did it anyway?” She pulls back to look at me, wincing.
I shrug. “You think I don’t know that? That’s why we’re having this little chat.”
She slaps the palm of her hand to her forehead. “It’s official, Iamawful.”
I nod solemnly. “Okay. Fine. Yes, I agree. Youareawful. And I forgive you.” My ears perk up because I faintly hear the boys fussing from afar. I realize I left the baby monitor out in the kitchen. “Shite. I wonder how long they’ve been up.”
“Connor. Would you come with me to check on our sons?” Ronni stands and holds out her hand.
I can’t help but smile and clasp it in mine. “Aye. That’s more like it.”
She grips my hand very tightly. I feel slightly better, but my ego is still bruised. She and I don’t fight often but it always comes down to this consistent issue. I’m not going to drop the subject of counseling with Ronni. I’ll even go with her. I think there’re many things she thought she dealt with but hasn’t.
Same goes for me, honestly.
I’m not willing to sacrifice our relationship to past demons. I truly don’t think she is either.
Am I ready to face my demons? Hers?
Aye.
Family is everything.
And I’ll do anything for mine.
My insides feellike wriggling worms on a fishing hook. Not that I’ve ever gone fishing. I haven’t. But I’ve seenA RiverRuns ThroughItabout a million times. I can visualize a wiggly worm, and that’s how…
Jesus. OrJaysus, to quote Connor.
I’m losing my mind. I shouldn’t be worried, Kris is my best friend. My closest confidante. My older sister. She’s my only family.
She’s not going to hurt me.
Oh, Kris will give it to me straight. But, she’s not going to hurt me.
I think.
I’ve been doing my best to ignore the defamation lawsuit Don Kircher filed against me. My lawyers assure me he doesn’t legally have a valid case against me, but he’s well-funded and angry. He’s also protecting a slew of wealthy, famous people who participated in his debauchery for the past couple of decades.
So, I’m under no false pretense this is going away anytime soon. Or that I’ll emerge unscathed. My commitment to secrecy all those years was for a reason. I might have been altruistic in my pursuit of justice, but I was selfish too.
My story wasn’t meant to be part of the narrative. The only two living people in this world who know what happened to me are Kris and Connor. Well, and Kircher, of course.
I didn’t want my name associated with his takedown, so I was blindsided when theLA Timeschristened me the second coming to the #metoo movement—a title I didn’t covet. I certainly didn’t want. Or need. All I wanted was for Kircher to get his comeuppance.
I thought I’d succeeded fairly unscathed.
One saving grace is the documentary I made has never been released to the public. It was part of the evidence the authorities used against Kircher. Nearly everyone I filmed has agreed to testify against him, so they don’t need to rely upon the film itself. When Kircher is convicted, it will be based on eye-witness testimony.