I look out at the ocean. Waves crest and crash along the shoreline. This used to be where I’d find peace. Now, it’s just a reminder that I’m in over my head. “Kris, did you know the boys are standing now? I missed it. I hate disappointing you, but I can’t do much more. How can I let the nanny be there for all their firsts and not me?”
“Look, babe. I know you’re juggling a lot. We need to have a serious discussion about what’s next for us. We’ve made commitments. People have invested money into us. I’m not trying to put pressure on you, but we slid everything for a year so you could give birth. The year’s up. I know the timing is brutal, but we won’t get this chance again.” Kris is stern, but not mad. I totally get it. Both of our reputations are on the line. “And if you could ask Connor about LTZ’s schedule, that would be great. If we need to factor it in, it’s best to know as soon as possible.”
“Okay. I’ll be there around noon.” I say nothing else before I hang up. I know I’m not pulling my weight. The transition from actress to producer is a big one. Even with the positive press we got with the article about the birth of the twins, there’s still so much publicity about Kircher’s demise. There are definitely plenty of men in this town who’d love for me to fail spectacularly.
I close my eyes and breathe in the salty sea air. With a heavy sigh, I know it’s time to get the day going. I turn to find Connor standing in my line of vision. He sits down and takes my hand. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”
“Something’s got to give. I don’t see how it’s possible for me to continue doing both the series and the movie.” I pull him into the pod and curl around him. “I thought having Yolanda here would help me, but I don’t—”
“Want her to have all the boys’ firsts. I overheard you say that to Kris.” He wraps his arms around me. “For the record, I call all the guys’ wives ‘love’ too. It’s a fairly common term of endearment in Ireland. I didn’t realize I said it to Yolanda, our employee. It’s inappropriate. I won’t do it again.”
“Thank you. It might be common, but I didn’t like you speaking anendearmentto Yolanda. I still gettinglywhen you say it to me. I don’t want her to get the wrong idea. Let’s not go down the stereotypical path of the nanny falling in love with Daddy because the wife is always at work.” I squeeze him tightly to me. I love smelling his fresh, linenly, manly smell.
Mine.
“Ah, Mae.You’rethe one I want to tingle. There’s zero chance I’m ever going to cheat on you, let alone with our feckin’ nanny.” He kisses my head. “Now tell me what’s going on. You don’t need to bear the weight of the world on your shoulders. Let’s figure this out.”
“Well, as you know, we’ve spent the past couple of months in preproduction in the hope that the series would be greenlighted. Most of the scripts are done, except some polishing. Locations are scouted. Production team is mostly hired. When we got the word a couple of weeks ago, we mostly just needed to finalize the paperwork. Kris took care of most of that stuff.” I stroke his hard abs up and down. “It’s my creative baby, though. My idea. It’s not a chore. Iwantto be involved in everything. Did I tell you Netflix wants us to film it in Vancouver? Our plan is to shoot it like a feature-length movie and edit it later to save actual filming time, but it will require careful planning.”
Connor shifts so he’s facing me. “Veronica Mae Miller, you can do this. Youshoulddo this. If we all need to go to Vancouver, we can bring Yolanda or we can find local help. Maybe even both. Now that Fireball’s album is done, when you’re holed up in the office, my excitement is limited to taking the boys to the park.”
“With Yolanda.” I pout.
He rolls his eyes. “Youare the one who hired her. And no. I usually take Barry.”
“Well, at least I know you have security with you and the boys. That makes me feel better.” I flatten my palms against his chest and stroke his pecs.
“Isn’t a tighter shooting schedule better? You'll be done sooner?” Connor brushes the hair out of my eyes. “Is the movie still on track later this summer?”
“So far.” I sigh; the idea of doing the movie seems better thandoingthe movie at this point.
“Well, I’m looking forward to spending time with the boys in Belfast, so I am. Saoirse is over the moon to help out when we’re there.” He nuzzles my neck.
I grip the sides of his face. “Except, what the hell is going on with LTZ? You’ve said nothing.”
He presses his forehead to mine and then flops over on his back, pulling me into his side. “We’re going to chat about it soon. I'll go down to Seattle for a meeting when it's scheduled. I know we need to fire our management company, but I’m not in any hurry. Although, when we’re in Vancouver, my plan is to work on the types of customizations for our bus. I’m thinking big playroom. Giant bed to fuck you on…”
“Are youserious?” I sit up and smack his bicep.
He smiles up at me. “Aye. I told the guys that I can’t commit to any schedule until you’ve finalized your schedule. There’s no way I can be in the studio or on the road when you’re so busy. Besides, Fiona’s opening her restaurant next summer. Alex and Jace are, well, Alex and Jace. Who knows what's going on with Ty & Zoey now that they're married, but if I'm a betting man—and you know that I am—she'll be knocked up soon if she's not already. I have one commitment: rehearsing for a live show we’re playing at The Mission for Gus’s opening night. That's a ways away.”
“Ohmygod. Connor. I’ve been this woebegone drag forweeks. I had no idea you were sacrificing your own career to let me further mine.” I straddle him. Lean down. Kiss him.
“Ah, mylove. There's no sacrifice. We're truly blessed. We have all the money we could ever spend. I have the most beautiful, talented, badass wife to ever walk the planet. My sons are the finest specimens ever born. Why would I want to leave my family? If we ever go out on the road again, you’re all coming with me or I'm not going.” He grips my hips and moves me back and forth on his hardening cock.
I splay my hands under his shirt. Lean over. “You are a silver-tongued devil. Speaking of coming, I want you inside me. Now.”
“We can make that happen.” He unzips his jeans while I strip off my joggers.
When I'm pantless, I resume position and sink down on top of him. Ride him. Roll my hips. He grips my ass and moves me faster, watching where we’re joined. God, the way he looks at me. The way he treats me. I’m the luckiest woman in the entire universe. He’s always one step ahead of me. Anticipating what I need. Looking out for my best interest. Myfamily’sbest interest.
“I love you, Connor. I still feel like I won the lottery when you chose me.” I pant, leaning over him. Bracing myself on the pod to gain purchase as he drives up into me.
He sneaks his thumb to my clit and taps then circles it. “I want to watch you come, Mae. I’ve got you. Let it go.”
The electric current starts deep within my core and permeates my entire being. I squeeze his cock as hard as I can manage when I get there. I want to bring him over the edge with me. It works. He groans and fills me with hot warmth. He and I have made love on these pods too many times to count.
It never, ever gets old.