“I’m not sure.” He sighs. They lock gazes, alookpasses between them.
“Are you okay, honey?” Fiona tentatively touches Alex’s shoulder.
Alex doesn’t react to her touch, keeping her eyes fixed on Jace. “Um, yeah?”
“I think I said something I shouldn’t have,” Ronni pipes up next to me. Instinctively, I put my arm around her. “I didn’t know you were keeping the situation private. I’m so sorry.”
“What situation is that?” Jace grits out.
Alex sighs, the weight of the world on her shoulders, explains some sort of female reproduction issue the ladies all seem to know about. It makes me wonder if Fiona, Zoey, and Alex knew about Ronni’s IUD before me.
I can see from Jace‘s annoyed expression, he’s also not happy about personal business being discussed. “I didn’t realize we were sharing yet, Poppy.”
I’m about to say something to back him up, but Ronni beats me to it. “C’mon Jace. Lighten up. Female-related health issues have been a taboo subject for too long. It’s important we share these experiences. Take it from me, keeping things like this secret isnotokay. Did you know that the percentage of money spent on research into women’s reproductive health is astonishingly low? You have a daughter. Think about it.”
I look over at Zane. We’re bothsofeckin’ uncomfortable. Jace is pissed. Fee and Ronni stare us down defiantly.Willingus to contradict them.
Wisely, we stay silent.
Not Alex, though. She sees Jace’s reaction and defends her man. “Jace isn’t the bad guy here, Ronni. He’s done more to help me than I’ve done to help myself. While I appreciate what you’re saying, we’ll make the best decision for ourselves. I’m happy to share what’s going on, but our solution is not up for group discussion or debate.”
Ronni’s defiance crumples, but she nods. I know she was trying to have a “women-power” bonding moment with Alex, but she failed to recognize the hypocrisy in her statement. To me, her proclamation about transparency felt like a fresh stab wound. Does she not realize she kept her IUD implantation secret fromme?
Now’s not the time, though. November is a tough month for my wife. Wynn took his life all those years ago around this time, which has been the catalyst for her drive to seek revenge against Kircher and his cronies. Regardless of our own issues, I’ll always give her grace when she speaks up for her friends, even if it comes across in a way she doesn’t intend.
At some point, she and I will need to discuss birth control and our own family’s reproductive health.No question. But it sure as feck won’t behere. Ornow.
“Maybe let’s lighten the mood and play some music?” Zane asks hopefully.
I shift Torin to my other arm. Grab Ronni’s hand and squeeze. Keeping my voice cheerful, I start toward the living room with my family in tow. “Aye. Let’s.”
She looks up at me, questioningly. I mouth, exaggeratedly, “Later.”
While Ronni and I manage to enjoy the rest of Ty and Zoey’s wedding day, I can’t help but wonder about the state of my own marriage. In my heart of hearts, I thought we were past all of this. If she’s still in the habit of keeping things from me, how does that bode for our future?
How do I trust her?
Without trust, what the feck kind of relationship do we have?
How do allthe women do it?
No,seriously.
I’m back to where I was before I joined Connor in Seattle. Only worse. Kris’s assistant Allison can’t find a qualified nanny—or even a PA— to save my life. I’ve interviewed young women, retired nurses, mannys, ex-teachers. It’s been a disaster.
Out of thirty applications, three candidates made it through my interview process. Two have already been let go. Hopefully the third time’s a charm.
Candidate one is a former preschool teacher. She looked great on paper and seemed to have an excellent connection with Torin and Tristan. By day two, I felt comfortable leaving her alone with them while I got caught up on my to-do list for the show. A couple of hours later, I decided to give them some cuddles. It was quiet, so I tiptoed down the hall and peered into the boys’ nursery.
My heart nearly melted. She had them all dressed up in their little rocker outfits sitting on the zebra-upholstered bench. Then I took a closer look. Imagine my surprise when I realized she was wearing one ofmyLTZ T-shirts with her cut-off shorts. Oblivious to my presence, she knelt next to the twins, held her phone up, put her best duckface on and proceeded to take a selfie with my sons.
Hell to the no.
Let’s just say I lost all semblance of decorum. Security was called. The photos were deleted. She received an incredibly stern legal letter reminding her of our iron-clad confidentiality and non-disparagement agreement. Good riddance to her. No way, no how will some LTZ fangirl bunny-boiler watchmybabies.
The second candidate, a manny, seemed promising. His background was in nursing. He reminded me so much of some of my gay actor friends I used to beard for. I was excited. Visions of becoming BFFs, shopping trips, and fabulousness filled my mind. My dreams went up in smoke within hours, quite literally. I heard the boys wake up from their nap on my baby monitor. Then they started crying. And crying. Then wailing.
By the time I made it to the nursery, they were screaming, poopy messes.