Beep. Beep. Beep.
For fuck’s sake. I can’t just do nothing. Iwon’t.
I spring up from my seat and stalk around the room like a madman. I’m sure I look like one. Wild hair. Wild eyes. Disheveled clothes. I don’t give two fucks. I weave my way through dozens of ugly orange chairs, a brown vinyl couch, and past a bunch of nondescript landscape prints screwed into the walls.
I peer around the corner. There’s nobody around. Figures. After all, we were trying to keep things private. When everything went down, I pulled some connections to clear the floor. Neither of us like to have people up in our business. We keep our shit to ourselves.
It’s just… I wish I’d known how goddamn terrified I’d be here all on my own. I’m truly not able to hold it together for another minute. I should have known something by now. Maybe a progress report. Or an update. No one’s telling meanything.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I whip my head toward the sound. It’s coming from down the hall. I decide to investigate. I must try to distract myself and get the crazy thoughts in my head to fuckingstop. Hurriedly, I stride down the stark, bright hallway and around the corner. I’m nearly knocked over by Seamus McLoughlin, my bandmate Connor’s youngest brother. He’s one of the doctors on her case. When I found out he’d been assigned to Alex’s care, it gave me such relief that someone I know would be with her.
Now, I want tofuckingkill someone, and since he’s here…
“Jace, I was just coming to get you.” Seamus skids to a halt. “We need to talk.”
I ignore him and try to move past. “No talking. I’m going to see her. You can’t stop me.”
“That’s not possible right now.” He presses his palm against my chest to stop my forward momentum. He’s calm and businesslike, which further pisses me off. Nothing about his expression changes when he gestures back to the room I’ve been stewing in for hours. “Let’s go have a chat.”
“Seamus.” I cock my head and fix him with what I hope is an intimidating glare. I’ve known this kid since he was thirteen, after all. It used to work well.
He shakes his head, unmoved. “Jace.”
Beep. Beep. Beep.
My head whips around at the sound. The fucking noise is coming from the room Alex is in.
“What thefuck?” I lunge toward the door.
He places his hands on each shoulder to stop me and sighs. A flicker of emotion dances across his eyes. “There’s been a complication. Dr. Madison sent me outside to—”
“Complication? A fuckingcomplication? What do you mean by that? After seven hours of hearing nothing, this is what you say to me?” My heart thuds in my chest.
He looks me directly in the eye. “We’ve been trying to save her life, Jace. All I can tell you is they’re still working on her now.”
After that, his lips keep moving but I can’t hear what he’s saying. The only thing that registers is white noise. Well, and utter and total blinding panic. I’m not prepared for this.
Won’t ever be prepared for this.
Fuck.Why? Why did we mess with perfection? We were happy with our little family. Why couldn’t we… Oh gawd. If I lose her…
When Seamus uncharacteristically pulls me into a bear hug, I nearly fall apart. He’s never been a demonstrative dude. I pull away and gulp in some air. “Just tell me if she’s going to make it.”
“The team is doing everything they can.” Seamus keeps eye contact, which I suppose is supposed to provide me with some level of comfort. “I promise.”
His efforts are appreciated, except he’s just spoken the least reassuring words in the history of words. I just stare at him. “How bad is it? Should I call anyone?”
“Yes. I would. Call her folks. Call yours. And your sister. I think having your family around you is important.” He pats my back. “I should get back in there. We’re giving her the best chance possible. You have my word.”
With that, I watch him disappear back into the room. Like a robot, I dial my sister. She picks up on the first ring. “Jace?”
“It’s Alex. I’m scared, Jen.” My voice comes out as a sob as I explain what’s going on and choke out the address. “Can you come?”
Without hesitation, my sister is the rock she’s always been. “We’ll catch the next ferry. Becca can stay with Lena. I’ll call our folks and I’m happy to pick up Andrea. We’ll all be there as soon as humanly possible.”
With that task complete, I settle into what feels like a vortex of horror. My back slides down the wall and I pull my knees to my chest when my butt hits the ground.