“But he did thoroughly kiss me when we left the bar, pinning me against the building before he walked me to the parking lot. So that was kind of hot.” Nat grins before taking a sip of her coffee, her smile switching to a scowl. “Damn, now that’s hot.”
She does this every time. You’d think she’d learn that the coffee is practically scalding after coming out of the Nespresso.
“Are you going to see him again?”
“I hope so. We didn’t make actual plans.” Her gaze narrows. “Now stop trying to change the subject. What happened with you and Knox? You went home with him. Something happened, and don’t tell me it was nothing because this is huge. Your first hookup post douchebag! This is a major moment.”
I smile at her, hating that she brought up Bryan, but it makes sense. I compared Knox to my ex because I couldn’t help it. Bryan is all I know.
Well, and now I know Knox.
“I see that dreamy look in your eyes. Don’t hold out on me now!”
I think of Nat saying something to Derek and I realize I can’t tell her anything about my night with Knox. I’d rat him out for breaking that stupid celibacy vow and he’ll end up having to pay up.
Why did he ever agree to that bet in the first place?
“We just…kissed. That’s it.” I offer up a closed-mouth smile, which is my signature move for keeping my mouth shut and she knows it.
“Girl…” She shakes her head, her disappointment clear. “You’re not giving me any deets, are you?”
“I just—I want to hold onto the moment for a few more days. Keep it to myself.” That isn’t a lie. There was something so perfect about the entire night. He didn’t push for anything. I wanted to give him that blow job, despite how intimidated I was by his size.
“Uh huh. You suck.” She takes another sip of her scalding hot coffee, making a face. “You get action and I can’t even live vicariously through you.”
“It wasn’t a lot.” I’m trying to play it off, and her comment about me sucking is way too accurate.
The skeptical look she sends me screams she doesn’t believe me. “Fine, keep your secrets. I’m sure it was great.”
Panic races through me. I really don’t want her saying anything about this to Derek, so...
“Don’t mention what happened between Knox and me to anyone, okay? Especially Derek.”
Nat’s eyes shoot up. “Why can’t I mention it to Derek?”
I can’t remember if I told her about the bet or not, but I’m going with not for now. “Knox just asked that we not really talk about it with anyone else, you know?”
“What, so he’s going to keep you a secret?” Her eyes narrow. I love that she wants to fight my battles for me, but this isn’t even a real battle.
“No.” I shake my head. “It’s not like that at all. He’s actually really sweet.”
“I don’t know if you’re the best judge of who’s sweet or not. You did tolerate Bryan’s shitty behavior for years, after all.”
My mouth pops open. What the hell? “What exactly are you trying to say, Nat?”
“That you might be letting Knox take total advantage of you, and that’s not cool, Jo. I’m just watching out for you. He’s a total player, you know?”
“Oh, I know. You keep reminding me,” I say weakly, staring at the bowl of cereal I was enjoying, not even a minute ago. Now it looks like a soggy, lumpy mess. I push the bowl away from me. “But it’s not like that between us.”
“Why do you say that? Because that’s what he told you before he got you naked? Please.” She rolls her eyes and grabs her backpack from where it rests on one of our dining table chairs. “I don’t want to be mean, but you’re fresh out of a controlling relationship that you were in for years, and you might not have the best judgment when it comes to guys.”
“Acontrollingrelationship? Bryan didn’t control me.” My voice is shrill, and I clamp my lips shut, trying to calm down. Like she just said, she’s watching out for me.
But she’s also pissing me off.
“He totally controlled you. You didn’t really do anything social the entire time you two were together, and he was an entire state away! While he was off having a great time, going to parties and hanging out with girls all the time, you were holed up in our dorm room like a freaking nun.” Nat grips her backpack strap tight, her face turning red. “I love you. You’re one of my best friends, but you have to understand—what Bryan did to you was total bullshit, and I tried to warn you countless times.”
“You’re right, it was total bullshit, but I was in love with him, Nat. And he was in love with me—or so I thought. I wanted to stay home. I didn’t want to go out and party. I missed him too much.”