“Are you guys like…dating?” He sounds shocked.
“I don’t know what to call it.” Casually hanging out? Bed buddies? Though we don’t just do it in bed. He kind of wants to fuck me anywhere he can have me. And I let him.
I guess that means we’re fuck buddies. God, that sounds harsh.
“He’s not just using you for sex, is he?”
I used to worry about that, but I eventually had a talk with myself. If he wanted to use someone for sex, he could use the many,manysomeones who are always willing to give it up to him. He wouldn’t need to stick with one girl, when he could have his pick.
Knox Maguire likes me. I can see it in his eyes when I catch him staring. I can feel it in the way he holds me. Kisses me. How he takes care of me. The things he says.
He cares. And oh God, this is so scary to admit, even to myself, but I care too.
Probably too much.
This man is holding my already fragile heart in his hands and I wonder if he even knows it.
“No,” I say firmly, believing in myself. Believing in Knox’s unstated feelings. Actions speak louder than words, right? “I think he actually likes me.”
Leon’s expression softens and he slowly shakes his head. “There’s a lot to like about you, Jo. You don’t give yourself enough credit.”
I’m trying. It’s a struggle, but I’m working on myself. Working on believing in myself and what I can do. What kind of person I am and what I have to offer to others.
“I’m working on that,” I tell Leon, and the smile on his face tells me he’s glad to hear it.
“You’re worth about a million Knox Maguires, so I hope you realize that. That boy is kind of a manwhore.” Leon sniffs, sounding like a snob.
“How are you and Lani?” Yes, they’re Leon and Lani and they’re just as cute as their names sound together. They’ve been a couple for almost a year now and Leon is totally into her.
His expression falters and my heart pangs at that look on his face.
Uh oh.
“Um, not so great. I think we’re going to break up.” He winces.
“Oh no! Why?”
“Because I’ve met someone else and…I’m confused.”
“Leon.” I’m shocked. “You’re not cheating on her, are you?”
“No, I would never. I love her.” He looks miserable. “I just don’t think I’m in love with her anymore, you know? All I can think about is this other person.”
“What’s her name?”
“That’s the thing.” He sighs, leaning in closer to me, his voice dropping a few octaves. “It’s a him.”
Leon told me before he’s bisexual. He falls in love with a person, not their gender is what he explained to me, and I love that about him. He’s open and accepting of everyone, even that so-called manwhore Knox. Ha.
A group of three women enter the bookstore, essentially ending our very private conversation.
“Let’s go grab coffee after we close,” I suggest. Knox will still be at practice and I’ll most likely go to his apartment later. Poor Cam, having to deal with us all the time.
He’s been leaving the apartment more and more, disappearing for long hours, and sometimes not even coming home for the night. Knox is sure he’s found a girl that he’s seeing on the down-low, while I think he’s just trying to get away from us, so he doesn’t haven’t to listen to our sexcapades every night.
The walls are thin in Knox’s apartment, just sayin’.
“I’d love to. I’ve been needing to unload this.” Leon’s smile is full of gratitude at my offer.