“All Too Well” spoke to my soul and I listened to it on repeat for months, crying almost every single time. I was so bitter over my relationship ending with Bryan. It felt so liberating, to revel in the anger of the lyrics. To mark myself with the words from one of Taylor’s sadder songs.
I was hopeful and pissed, all at once.
“Right after you broke it off with your boyfriend?” His voice is quiet, and I think he’s terribly brave to ask such a question about my ex when we’re basically naked and about to have actual sex for the first time.
But I appreciate his bravery. I can’t avoid the subject. My relationship with Bryan won’t disappear, but I want Knox to know that it doesn’t matter to me anymore. Bryan hasn’t mattered to me in a long time.
“Yeah.” I drop my legs and sit up, reaching for him. It’s my turn to touch his face, my fingers tracing the firm line of his jaw. His chin. He’s so attractive. The most attractive man I’ve ever seen and definitely ever been with. Should I tell him that? Though there’s so much more to Knox than just his looks. “I don’t want you thinking I’m hung up on him.”
Knox sits up straighter, my hand falling away from his face, his expression stoic. “I don’t think you’re hung up on him.”
“Good, because I’m not.”
“Yeah.” He smiles. “I can tell you kind of like me.”
“I do.” I touch him again, scooting closer, my fingers drifting across his shoulder, and all of that warm, hard muscle. “I may have got a tattoo out of anger, but it really had nothing to do with him, and was more about me empowering myself.”
“So fuck the patriarchy?” His lips curve up in the smallest smile and I lean in, pressing my lips to his in a closed-mouth kiss.
“Yes,” I whisper against his perfect mouth. “Fuck it.”
“I’d rather fuck you.” The next kiss is hungry. Insistent. I respond to it, crawling on top of him until he’s falling onto his back and I’m sprawled across him, straddling his hips, grinding down on his erection. His hands are on my ass, pressing me into him, our harsh breathing the only sounds in the room, my pounding heart roaring in my ears.
I suddenly remember his vow and pull away from him, a flash of annoyance on his face when he cracks open his eyes. “Why’d you stop?”
Swallowing hard, I take a moment to catch my breath. “Your celibacy vow.”
He stares at me and I get lost in those gorgeous green eyes. “I don’t care about it. Besides, I’m on fire right now at practice.”
I frown. “You are?”
“Yeah. It’s like I messed around with a hot woman who let me come in her mouth, and next thing you know, I can catch every ball Cam throws my way.” He grins, looking very smug.
While I can’t help but be the tiniest bit embarrassed. “Knox.”
“Shh. Just let me enjoy my moment.” He kisses me, making me forget all my worries.
All I can do is feel.
He runs his mouth all over my body and I try to do the same, but he always pushes me away, more than eager to lavish all of his attention on me. Eventually, I give in and let him, throwing my arms out wide on the mattress, lying there like some sort of naked sacrifice. And oh how he worships me—with his firm hands and hot lips and tongue. Until I’m a squirming, explosive mess, unable to focus on anything else but the intense burning building inside me.
“Knox.” I sound like I’m in agony because I am. He’s the only one who can satisfy the ache inside me.
The only one.
He kisses me, his tongue doing a thorough sweep of my mouth before he murmurs, “Hold on.”
I watch in a daze as he reaches for his nightstand, fumbling around as he tries to open the drawer. Within seconds, he’s got a condom clutched between his fingers and he’s kneeling in front of me, tearing open the wrapper.
“Is that extra-large?” I ask as he starts to roll the condom on. I’m teasing yet I’m also serious.
Pausing, he glances up, his hot gaze making my stomach flutter with excitement. “Yeah. It is.”
The fluttering turns into nervousness and I swallow hard.
“Look.” He fists his cock, stroking himself, and even with the condom on, it’s undeniably hot. “I have an idea to make this…easier on you.”
“What do you mean?” I ask warily.