“I was protecting you!” I cry, desperate to make her understand.
“I need some space. Time to think.” Her face crumples, but she quickly sucks the emotions away.
“Lauren, wait!”
She spins around and levels me with a dark glare. “I said no, Cain. Don't follow me.”
My hands grip my hair as she walks the short distance and around the corner. “FUCK!” I roar. I move to follow her, desperation clouding my judgement, but Perry appears at my side and slaps my back gently, holding me still. “Don’t say anything.Fuck,” I choke, shaking my head, my fingers ripping at my hair. I feel helpless and plagued with worry. “Get Matteo here. I want him to check her over,” I say to both my friends as they stand bewildered in the car park. Amberley is chewing her lip sadly.
“Cain, I didn’t know. I even joked with her that she was handling it better than you. She was always fine on the phone,” he murmurs, rubbing his neck.
“Evidently, she isn’t okay.” I lift my head and look at him in complete defeat. “She’s lost weight.” I drag a hand down my face and stare across the car park, gripped with dread.
“Amberley said she had lost a bit of weight the last time she saw her, but she hadn't seen her look as upset as she did when we arrived. She’s calling Matt now.”
“Good.” Sighing, I walk to a boulder, sit on it, and pull out my phone to unblock Lauren. I contemplate calling her, but I know she’d never answer. Leaving was the right thing for me, but seeing Lauren, I realise now how wrong it was for her. I underestimated her feelings.
“What about Kat?” Perry reminds me of my sister's party in a few hours.
“I’ll be there, but then I’m coming back here first thing.”
Chapter35
Lauren
“Are you okay? You’re a little quiet tonight?” my dad asks while sitting next to me in the garden. I came home and hid upstairs, too emotional to see my parents. James had been here with Caroline, and I didn’t want them to see me, so I soaked in the bath, cried, and then concealed my red face with makeup before joining them all for a barbeque.
I turn my head to look at him and smile. “I’m okay.”
“Do you want another burger? There are some left.”
“No, I'm stuffed.” I pat my rounded stomach. Mum is watering the plants, and James left not long ago with Caroline. Their relationship had been hot gossip, and I was grateful not to be the talk of the town for once when they admitted to their affair. In some ways, it was the perfect karma for Henrik. He’d threatened to ruin my family, but he’d only achieved in losing his own. He’d known about James’s financial difficulties, but learning of his wife’s infidelity had ruptured his plans to keep me quiet. There wasn’t a person in this town who wasn’t aware of his attempt to blackmail me—who didn’t know the truth.
“What else have you eaten?” Dad absently scratches his brow, frowning heavily at me.
“I ate a banana for breakfast.”
“Lauren,” he chides.
“I know, but I wasn't hungry after serving all that greasy food.” I pull a face, and he smiles softly at me. I don’t tell him about my visitors and how unsettled I felt after seeing Cain. “It was nice of you to invite Caroline.”
Dad scoffs. “It’s the only reason James agreed to come over.”
“He’ll come around, Dad. He’s proud, and he’s embarrassed that you had to bail him out.”
“Hope so.” Dad slaps his knees and heaves up. “I’m getting another beer. Do you want anything?”
“I’ll have a can of pop, please.” I pull my legs up, tucking my knees underneath me, and watch as my mum potters in her garden. Before Cain, I had imagined Martin and me settling down and marrying, buying a house and turning it into a home. I pictured myself much like my mum, tending to a garden and making memories as a couple and then later as a family. I’d listened to the town talk, and it had fed this ideal. I’d been so closeted in this town. Conforming to what was expected of me.
Cain would never conform. He’d rebel and come back with a bang just to say, ‘I told you so’. The possibility of building a life, a home, without him, is such a foreign concept. I can’t see my future without him, but I cannot move beyond this pain, either. Lashing out and hurting him had been cathartic, if not a little petty. I wanted him to hurt like I had, but seeing him struggling only succeeded in making me feel guilty.
My dad reappears and passes me my drink. “If you don’t want to talk about it, then that's fine, but Gladys called and said you had some visitors at the cafe?”
I crack open my drink and take a long sip. I can’t even be mad because Amberley told me Gladys had stabbed Cain in the foot with her walking stick. She’s getting a free lunch when she next comes into the cafe.
“They’ve gone now,” I reply. Amberley had text not long after I got out of the bath, saying they had returned to London for Kat’s party, but Cain planned to come back tomorrow. I don’t know how I feel about that—annoyed, anxious? I don’t have the energy to fight with him.
My dad holds his beer up. “Here’s to right hooks.” He grins. The gossip mill has been hard at work. I knew this would happen—it was no different when Martin cheated on me. The town twisted the truth, and I'd been fed so many lies and bent truths.