“No,” she gasps before I slam my mouth to hers. Her lips are dry and stiff, and when I peel my eyes open, she is glaring at me. I kiss her roughly, pouring all my love for her into it, and her jaw wobbles, but she doesn’t kiss me back.
“Forgive me, pretty girl,” I whisper. “I love you. You know I do,” I confess roughly against her mouth. “I needed to keep you safe.” Tears swim, her jaw locks, and she tugs herself free. “Lauren, ple—”
The slap is so unexpected that I suck in a surprised breath. My eyes snap to hers, and she dashes a tear away.
“You were protectingyou.” Her voice is so quiet that if the entire cafe wasn’t imitating fucking crickets and listening in on our conversation, I would have struggled to hear her. “You don’t get to say those words. You don’t get to show up here and play the fucking hero.” She slams a spoon down.
“Walking away was the only way to keep you safe,” I argue. Did nothing about our time together teach her anything about me? Annoyance burns through me—despite giving so much of myself to this woman, she barely seems to know me at all. I had to keep her safe!
“Bullshit!” Her small hand hits the surface with a slap that could rival the one she landed on my smarting cheek. “From who? Royce?” She looks me up and down in disgust, completely put off by my declaration. “He was already under investigation, and having me attacked put even more limelight on him. He knew that,” she shouts, face turning red with fury. “He risked my life to hurt you, and it worked. He would hardly attempt it again because he would have been caught.Wascaught,” she spits scathingly. “You were protecting yourself, and just like him, you were willing to risk me for it. Turns out you have more in common with your stepfather than you realised.” She scoffs.
Pain rattles through me as she logically brushes Royce’s threat aside and holds me accountable for why I really left her. I was terrified of loving someone, only to lose them again. I still am, but I miss her more. The atmosphere in the cafe becomes tangible and tense. I feel like I’m under a telescope with so many eyes and ears on us. I’m used to the constant attention, but having her liken me to that arsehole has my scalp prickling with animosity.
“And what's that?” I mutter darkly. I'm nothing like that man. Nothing.
“You're both selfish cowards.” Our drinks are added to the tray, and she shunts it forward, sloshing liquid over the side of a cup. “Did you really think you could come back, and it’d be like nothing had happened?” She laughs scathingly.
Gritting my teeth, I swallow audibly. I had hoped she’d be more receptive to my appearance in her hometown. Difficult, yes. Full of such hatred, no. But then, I wasn't expecting to find her looking as hardened as she is now.
“No.”
“Really?” she muses, not giving me an inch to make amends.
“I knew I’d have to win your trust and love back.” I step up to the counter and slide my hand to hold hers, but she pulls away, shaking her head.
“You lost those things when you left me. You leftme.” Her voice catches, and I can tell she is close to tears, and her shoulders lift as she drags in a deep breath.
“Laure—”
“In a fucking hospital bed with a broken leg, Cain, just hours after I was hit by a car. If the pictures weren’t bad enough, I then have an attempt on my life because of you,”—she points at me—“and youleave!”Her face contorts in anger, and I stand tall as she rips me a new one in front of all these people. “What was the point?” She laughs. Her tears slip free, but she looks calmer, resolute. “I trusted you. I supported you. Ilovedyou. I wanted to be with you. I sure hope it was all worth it.”
“It wasn’t.”
“Too bad. Barry, I'm leaving.” She unhooks her apron and walks away and towards the back.
I race after her, and Perry steps in my way and shakes his head. “Let her cool off, Cain.” I push him away.
“Lauren!” The fire door clangs shut, and I storm through it. She is already halfway across the small car park, walking as quickly as her healing leg will allow. I cut her up, gripping her arms. “Just talk to me.” Empty eyes meet mine. “Fuck, Lauren, you’ve lost weight.” I open my mouth to say something else, and my own eyes sting. I’ve done this to her. I cup her face and wipe her tears away. “I’m so fucking sorry. Please, pretty girl. I fucked up. I was scared, and I didn’t know just how scared until I saw you lying unconscious in that bed.”
“Then I suggest you talk to someone about that,” she says, low and devoid of emotion.
I rattle her head like it is the only way to get her to hear me. “You. I want to talk to you.” She steps sideways, and I move with her, crowding her space. Pushing her back towards the building until we are against the wall, and I have her caged her in. I want to sink into her and wrap my arms around her at the same time. I’ve caused so much damage, and the evidence is in how withdrawn and heartbroken she is.
I grip her chin and lift her face to mine, but she tilts her face away, avoiding me. “God, Lauren. I feel sick seeing how much I’ve hurt you. Everyone kept telling me you were doing okay.” My voice is thick, and I drop my forehead to hers.
“I’m fine.” She tries to move out of my hold, but I pull her face back to mine.
“I love you, please. I’m sorry.” I stare deeply at her, but she blinks blankly. “I knew if I could just get Royce locked away, I could come back and put things right. If I told you it was safe for you, you wouldn't have come home with your parents,” I admonish softly, knowing how stubborn she is. I lean into her, and my body heats at being so close to her. She smells of grease and bacon, but I want to fuse myself to her and smell like it, too. I’ve missed her lilting voice and her wide, trusting eyes. The dark twinkle they get when she is aroused and how they lit up whenever she looked at me. Now they are empty. “Youknowme. I’m sorry I hurt you. I thought I was doing the right thing,” my rough voice catches, and I suck in a helpless breath.
“Even if you did think that, you chose for me. I didn't get a choice.” Her tiny shoulders shrug. “What's the point of being in a relationship if it’s all one-sided?” Her eyes search mine, demanding I question myself and not answer her. “The truth is, it terrified you, and rather than buckle up and face this fear head-on, you cut and ran. You took the coward’s way out. Did you really think, after Martin, I was ready for a relationship? I was terrified of what I was feeling. I knew it could blow up in my face, but you made me believe I could trust you. All I had to offer was myself, and I knew, deep down, it wouldn't be enough.”
“It is. You are enough.” I drop to kiss her, but she snaps away, warning me off of her.
“I was in agony, Cain. I had to have another surgery. Months of rehabilitation. I’ve lost my home and my job. You’ve gained everything. Just like you wanted. Congratulations.” She tries to shrug me off, but I follow her. “I can’t do this. Leave me alone.”
“Lauren, I’m sorry. I want to make it right, fix what I've broken, and be with you. You’re all I want, pretty girl. I miss you.”
“I can’t.” She shrugs. “I just can't.” She shoves me away and lifts her bag onto her shoulder.