I was hoping to ask you to come to check out my herd and go over some ideas I had for next season. You know your stuff, and I’d be grateful for the help. Just let me know when you’re free.
Thanks,
Austen
Well, that was pretty flattering. Austen seemed like a smart enough guy and not one to waste his time. It felt good to have someone ask for my help because that meant he trusted me to know my stuff and knew I’d be straight-up honest with him. I replied that I could be free anytime the roads were clear, gave him a number to call or text me on, and shut the computer off to finish chores.
Kelli had gone home by the time I got down to start feeding. That left Marshall to rejoin life, with stars in his eyes and a spring in his step and the whole bit. He looked about like Cody had last summer, smiling nonstop and whistling everywhere he went. I wouldn’t say I was jealous, but I wasn’t in the mood to watch. Not when I was so inept at love and showed no signs of improving anytime soon.
He took over the rest of my chores before I could even get to them. Maybe that was his way of apologizing for slacking on work earlier in the day, although no one had complained. I just checked everything, found there wasn’t much left to do, and went in the house to start cooking a huge pot of baked beans to go with whatever Marshall had on the grill. That would taste good to everyone after a cold, nasty day. Plus, I didn’t have to babysit dinner once I got it in the kettle. I slipped back to my bedroom and turned on my desk light.
Maybe I should write something to Jess. Just in case things didn’t work out with Luke, I told myself. I was good on paper, and the words were clattering around in my head, banging to get out. I’d capture them now while they were bottled up, and I knew them by heart, and maybe someday, I’d have a chance to give them to her. Just not as a cryptic note stuffed in her coat pocket. Only a moron would do something like that. I pounded my forehead with my fist.
I’d just write her a little note of explanation. Simple and honest, clear the air. I swirled my pen over the page, waiting for the first word to take shape in my mind, and then let the ink flow.
Dear Jess,
I’m sorry for imposing on you the other day, and I hope I haven’t made you uncomfortable. I’m kind of new at this. I have wanted to talk to you for so long, but I never knew how. I should have just approached you like a normal person! I’d really like to get to know you better, but right now, I don’t even know how I will work up the courage to give you this.
If you do find this note in your hand someday, know that I won’t intrude where I’m not wanted. I just had to ask. If you’re willing to take a chance on me, I’ll trust you to show me somehow. I don’t know what would happen if we were to spend some time together. Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. I just know you’re the sweetest, kindest woman I have ever met, and no matter what you decide, I wish you happiness.
My pen stopped. Should I sign it? What should I say, “With love?” While true, that reeked of serious stalker vibes.
When was I planning to give her this? Not while she was dating Luke, not even if it killed me. But Luke went through girls like water, so maybe they wouldn’t last. I could only hope.
What then? It wasn’t like I never saw her in town. She went to the feed store pretty often, and there were only two grocery stores in town. I’d waved at her just last week at the hardware store. I could find a chance to slip it into her hand. She’d know it came from me this time, and if she didn’t want it, she could throw it away.
My pen pressed into the spot where I would put a signature. I could just write my name. Simple and honest. But I kept trying to envision actually giving this to her, and the more I thought of it, the less plausible the idea seemed. I’d have to know where she and Luke stood first. After that, it would be easy.
I just had to work up the guts to talk to her.
Jess
We only had one day of deep snow. It was still cold, but the frozen stuff came in small flurries rather than heavy storms. Thanksgiving came and went, then there was a solid week of the most glorious blue skies and sheet white glare from the snowy landscape. Beautiful, but the auto body business always picked up on weeks like this. People would get blinded by the winter white or hit a patch of black ice, and then we’d get a call.
I was running the office more than I was fixing engines lately. It wasn’t like Thompkins Auto Body was the first place people thought of when they needed their injectors replaced. I’d known I wouldn’t have a lot of work when Dad offered me his back shop, but I didn’t know I’d be spending so much time at a desk. I breathed a long sigh as I clicked through the screen of vehicle damage estimates. All these needed to be sent over to insurance companies for approval or payment—a job Dad hated doing. I could get it done in half the time he could, so I cracked open a soda can and got to work.
I’d been clicking away for maybe an hour when someone knocked at my office door. “Yeah?” I said, not really looking at him. The guys always came to talk when I was working.
A man cleared his throat. I squinted one last time at the line of figures I was entering, then shifted my gaze. It wasn’t one of the shop guys.
“Hello,” he said, with a smile as wide as Texas and sweet as honey. “Jess Thompkins, I believe?”
“Yes, sir. Can I help you?”
“They say you’re the mechanic?”
“Only one we’ve got.”
He took his hat off and entered the office to draw up a chair. “My name is Austen Conrad. I think we’ve met before.”
I didn’t remember his name, but he did look a little familiar. Most guys had started to look alike to me, and it was a sad realization. I’d gotten so jaded that I didn’t even notice them anymore. “Oh. Nice to meet you again.”
He kept smiling. Friendly smile, but to be perfectly honest, I didn’t care for it. Jerks smiled just as much as nice guys. I’d learned that the hard way.
“Well, I’ll start at the beginning. I bought the old Finney Ranch up on High Line Road last fall. It’s Silver Falls Ranch now, but that’s not the point.”
I was nodding and checking the stack of invoices in front of me. I’d have them all done by lunch. “Go on,” I said.