He scowled at me. “Then have friends during the day. This is a nighttime event.”
“And the nights belong to you?” I lifted an eyebrow. “I don’t remember making that deal. I’ll be gone for a few hours. Then I’ll come home, feed Tanner, and any of the rest of you who need it.”
Tanner rubbed my shoulder, drawing my attention to him. “It isn’t just that we want to be fed. We’re… very invested in where you are and how you are doing. I think you understand because you seem to be about us, too. I have this general feeling that is very contradictory. It’s like I need you to be safe and healthy, while also sensing all the time that something is wrong. I can’t explain it.”
I tugged on his shirt. “The only thing wrong is that I don’t yet know what my waking life will be. With you guys, it always sort of feels like I’m in a dream, a fog, that’s not quite real and yet somehow is.”
From the couch, Ace laughed. “Look how poetic you’re being.”
“Bite me.” I rolled my eyes and took a bite of my lettuce.
“Don’t tempt me, beautiful.”
The door opened and Rowan strode inside. “We won tonight’s battle.”
He didn’t sound enthusiastic, just bored. “Isn’t that a good thing? You guys are winning against the Betrayer, who’s betrayal somehow no one knows, but you keep fighting anyway. In fact, it all seems a little bit like dystopia? But, anyway, why aren’t you happy?”
He slid into the stool next to me, stared at my salad as though it was a foreign object, then finally answered. “Because he never really goesaway. We win, yet they come again. It feels like fake wins. Like he lets us have the little skirmishes for some reason I can’t comprehend.”
“Yet, when you suggested that to the elders, they scoffed.” Ace shrugged. “They want you to win. They like that you’re winning. They don’t care that it doesn’t make sense.”
Caesar shook his head. “Thank the universe I don’t have to speak to the elders. Ever.”
“Watch out. I might make you.” Rowan grinned. “What are we doing tonight?”
“This is what we’re doing,” Griffin nudged me. “Watching her eat and convincing her she doesn’t want to go to a bar with her new friends tomorrow night.”
“You’re not convincing me.” I finished eating and rose to clear my plate. Tanner stopped me with a kiss then took the plate from me to wash it. “You don’t have to do that. I ate it; I’ll clean it.”
He glanced over his shoulder. “Pretty sure I would have done this when I was a human, so I’m doing it now.”
“Why? Don’t you like this better?” Griffin walked to the window to stare out at it.
Tanner shook his head. “No, I don’t care for being stuck and not able to talk. I don’t like that at all. You prefer it?”
“Worlds better. I couldn’t go back. Caesar?”
He shrugged. “I don’t really give a shit, truly. Why think about things that don’t matter? We’re vampires. Who cares what we prefer?”
Ace lifted his head. “Going to ask me?”
Caesar shook his head. “I’m not.”
I turned to Ace. “Which do you prefer?”
“This. Being human wasn’t fun for us. We lived in terror and fear. Why do that again?” He lay back down on the couch. “Rowan? Which do you prefer?”
“That was someone else’s life. I can vaguely remember it, but not in a real way. I don’t know how to compare the two when one doesn’t feel real to me.” He looked at me. “When is the bar?”
“Tomorrow night. And I’m going.”
He smirked at me. “Sure. Sounds good. Have a great time. We’ll see you when you get home.”
“Number one, I didn’t ask for your permission. But, secondly… I feel like you’re saying something that I don’t understand, now that I heard what you said.”
He patted my shoulder. “Paranoia is sexy on you, Maci.”
“Movie?” Griffin strode to the couch. “Let’s watch a movie.”