I let him stare and I kept talking. “Theysavedme. And they’ve been keeping me here in this house just a few short days. Barely a week. They did it so they’d be here for you, to do what you needed from them, to fight the Betrayer, and to keep me away from the Elders. Because if I don’t get venom now, I’ll die. The things I had to do to stay alive? It was awful. So bad, I’ll never be able to really talk about all of it.”
“Go on.” His voice was low. “Explain to me how betrayal isn’t betrayal.”
I dropped my hand but only so that I could take his in mine. This was all instinct. I really had no idea what I was doing. It was more likely that he’d tear out my throat than actually listen to me. Still, I had to try before everything ended in bloodshed.
Besides, I missed him. This was Rowan. He’d have denied it, but he was absolutely our center in a lot of ways. We weren’t whole without him. If I could have him back, I wanted him.
Whoever this version of him is now, we have to fit together.
“Because maybe your intentions behind sending me off, behind letting me go the way you did, were good. You were keeping a promise. Without knowing the things you should have known, they made it impossible for your intentions to happen.” Although I improvised, since Caesar and Griffin never said they saved me to keep Rowan’s promise, I didn’t think I lied to him exactly.
“Rowan,” Tanner’s voice was low. “Taste her blood then tell me you wouldn’t have done the same as we have.”
The vampire in front of me jumped. “You’re talking. How?”
Tanner walked toward me and placed his hand gently on my arm. He stroked my skin in a long movement of his thumb. “She made it happen. I don’t know if you believe in fate, Rowan. I don’t know if you’re the reincarnated soul of a long dead vampire. I know I’m not. I have nothing in my mind but my own thoughts and my monster. But if you believe in there being a rhyme or a reason of anything, a fate, then let’s say this woman in front of us was meant to meet us when she did. Take a drink. You’ll see what I mean. She gave me back my voice. I can’t talk after risings each day until she gives me her neck.” His eyes seemed to glow red as he spoke to Rowan. “Or don’t. Then you can wonder for the remainder of your very long existence if you should have. Wedidn’tbetray you, I can promise you that, but if you hurt her in any way, we will.”
Rowan glared at him, nostrils flaring in fury. “If anyone else besides one of you said that to me, they’d be dead.”
“Drink. Threaten murder later.” He shrugged. “Or don’t. I can promise you, it will be your loss.”
The room was so silent, I could have heard a pin drop, but even an inanimate object wouldn’t dare make a sound in that second. Right then, everything had to be utterly silent. Rowan could hold them against walls with the force of his brain. I’d bet he could crush me into nothing if he desired it. Or he could bite my neck, and we could all be one again.
Tanner had challenged him. I swallowed, knowing it would bring attention to my throat. It wasn’t why I’d done it, but I didn’t mind the result.That’s good.I had his attention. Maybe it was time to ask for a little bit of truth.
The answer would tell me a lot.
“Isn’t there any part of you, deep inside, that misses me?” I barely whispered the words. “We had one week together, but it shaped the rest of my life. I’ll never understand it, but I hear it’s like looking at someone else from a distance, your human self, but you can still see him. Doesn’t that view, the small one, make you want to take a bite?”
In a million years, I never would’ve imagined enticing a vampire to bite me.This is lunacy.But it made total sense to me. I wanted it, and he had to be convinced.
He moved so fast, I never saw his mouth move until he bit down on my neck. My whole body sighed at the gentleness he used. I almost lost my footing and would’ve fallen over, but he placed a hand on my back, keeping me upright. His body tightened. Yes, he was feeling what they all did. My blood was different, and it woke him up in a way that shouldn’t be possible. By my fifth time, I could recognize the signs.
For me, yes, he turned me on, but it was more like the sweetest relief from missing an essential organ that had been denied to me for too long. Yes, I needed Rowan. I missed him. I closed my eyes and leaned against him while he fed.
He wasn’t very hungry, so soon he pulled off me.Rowan must not be an overfeeder.He stopped when he was full, and although he pulled his head away from my neck, he didn’t let me go.
“How?”
All of the others stood nearby, like they were ready to take him on as a group if the need arose.
Griffin shook his head. “No idea. I’ve been searching for the answer.”
Rowan growled, “Is that why you sent her to that man to buy his stupid book?”
Well, that answered that question.I thought someone had spotted me. “Was that you at his house today?”
“No, it was one of the servants. They’ll have to be handled now. She told me as soon as she saw you.”
I caught my breath. “Which servant?”
He waved his hand. “Who knows what their names are? A servant. She’ll have to be handled.”
I stared at him.He is such a vampire. “There was a time you knew their names.”
“Do you want to talk about servant names, or do you want to talk about what we are going to do about this? Griffin, that book won’t tell you jack shit. The good books that might explain things are in my office.”
“Locked away where I can’t get to them.” He rolled his eyes. “Because you can’t know she’s here.”