That was fine and good, but I didn’t want to live with his constant ache as if it were my own. “Ace…”
Griffin squeezed my foot. “He can take more tomorrow. You won’t feel it until he’s almost risen again, if I’m understanding it correctly. And he won’t ever terrify you like that, because if he does, I will take off his fucking head.”
“Only if I don’t do it first.” Tanner spoke in a low voice; he was probably about to lose his ability to speak again. It was late for him.
Fine, I supposed they were right. I struggled off of Ace. “I’m going to bed. I have work tomorrow.”
Ace shook his head. “Why do you have to work? Have they not explained to you how rich we are?”
“They have, many times. But, as I told you earlier, I’m not a paramour. I’m not living off you as some quid pro quo for taking my blood and having sex.”
His eyes widened. “So that’s happening with them, too?”
Obviously, they hadn’t explained everything yet. “It is.” I wasn’t embarrassed, and if Ace wanted to have sex, we’d do that, too. I was sleeping with a bunch of vampires despite really hating vampires as a whole. I liked the three I’d been living with and probably would like him a lot, too, once he was better fed and not trying to be scary.
It turned out I didn’t have any puritanical feelings about sex at all, and I liked myself for it.
Besides, the three I was sleeping with were really,reallygood at it. Why shouldn’t we all indulge?
Ace changed the subject, pointing. “Is that your phone?”
I nodded. “Yeah?”
“We need to get it updated. It’s not safe for her to use one so damaged. What if she needed help?”
Like earlier. I walked into my bedroom. “Not a paramour. I’ll buy my own phone.”
I closed the door.
The next time I woke, it was daylight. I didn’t need to see the sun to know it, because my body had officially gotten good at telling. I was living a half-human, half-vampire life and my body clock adjusted accordingly.
Surrounded on both sides, I recognized Caesar and, although it took me a second to really identify the energy, Ace. I sighed. I did love being smooshed in the bed. Safety in company, perhaps, especially after years of being alone in my trailer, wondering if anyone would break in and hurt me.
Not that they could have done much of anything to protect me at the moment, since they were basically dead to the world until sundown.
“Hi,” Ace said, and I jumped, nearly coming off the bed. Had I misjudged the time?What is happening here?
“How?” I sat up and turned toward him. He did the same. In the pitch blackness, it took a second for my eyes to adjust to the low light enough to focus on Ace.
He didn’t pretend to misunderstand. “I can stay awake and resist the pull to sleep. It hurts, but I can. I’ve made it to about ten o’clock before I can’t stand it anymore.”
Really? He could? I had a million questions, but he kept speaking. “The others don’t know. It’s not something I advertise. I actually prefer it if other vampires don’t know. It’s not something I should be able to do, and it’s not like I’ve been particularly talking to the other three here. I’ve pretty much been on my own since the change.”
His words created more than a million queries but one most importantly. “Why do you do it? Stay up? If it hurts you? It must be contributing to your constant pain. That was the most intense agony I’ve ever experienced.”
He sighed. I would’ve loved to have been in the light talking to him, but it probably would have hurt him to be touched by it, although I didn’t imagine it would bother Caesar if we turned on the lamp. I leaned over him and did just that. The light was bright, and it took me a second to adjust. A quick look at Caesar showed he hadn’t moved at all.
“I resist the sleep because it hurts, and I don’t want to give into it. I don’t like having no say in when and how I sleep. I do it because I can do it. I’m not sure I can explain it any better than that.”
I supposed it would have to do then. “You could treat it like pulling off a bandage and just do it.”
“That’s what happens most nights, but tonight, I wanted to make sure you were okay. I treated you roughly.” He took my hand in his, running his finger over my wrist.
I waited, but the obvious apology that should come didn’t arrive. I rolled my eyes.Vampires are frustrating, end of story.Then again, so were most men, from what I’d heard. I didn’t have much experience other than the men my mother brought home, and they were an outright nightmare.
“Okay, so I guess that is your version of I’m sorry. I could make a whole thing out of you not saying the words, but it would be fruitless with you and, frankly, frustrating as hell for me. It’s too early for this. Let’s just move on.”
He nodded as though he agreed. Which part exactly did he find he agreed with? I let it go. There really wasn’t a choice.