My mouth fell open, fear flooding me. I knew I shouldn’t leave the house tonight, as though someone had told me I shouldn’t. I shook my head. It didn’t matter right then. I slowed the car and pulled over, finally coming to a stop.
“Vampires are fighting right now? This very second?”
He gave me a short nod. “They won’t see you. They’re busy. Drive home. The last thing they want is for humans to see them. Drive straight home.”
“I will. You’ll be careful?” Fear was like a wakeup call. The circumstances of my life were currently sucky, but I didn’t want them to die. Again. I grabbed his arm. “Don’t forget you can’t talk. They can’t know you can talk. Be careful. Who is in this battle? And what exploded?”
Tanner leaned over to kiss my forehead. “Get yourself home.”
That was apparently the extent to which he would answer me. Tanner was out of the car a second later, closing the door behind him and disappearing into the woods, where every so often, something exploded red.
Vampires are fighting in there and not the friendly kind.I shivered. Why did it feel like I had eyes on me right then? I looked all around but nothing stood out. Tanner said to get home, that was what I would do.
I put the pedal to the metal and with a screech of the tires, sped down the road. The battles weren’t hypothetical. They were happening right there, close to my new home. With shaking legs, I practically fell into the house, closing the door behind me. Vampires were dangerous enough when they were just trying to feed off me, so how bad would it be if they were battle enraged? What would happen to the humans who lived nearby and had no idea what the hell headed their way?
“Maci?” Griffin strode toward me. “What’s wrong?”
“There’s a battle nearby. Tanner told me to come home fast. He went to see if they needed help and he got out of the car by the woods. You know that area?” I wasn’t being particularly articulate, and I didn’t really care. This was fucking scary, there were no two ways about it.
Griffin sighed. “Leave it to them to pick the one place where I’m trying to hide you and decide to have a battle there. Smart that Tanner got out. He’ll lead them in the opposite direction.”
Was that why he had done it? He hadn’t explained himself, other than he’d decided to go, thereby leaving me alone in the car to be terrified all on my own. Griffin didn’t seem the least bit scared.
“I’m frightened.” That would have to do for an explanation. Even as a vampire, he should understand why someone like me would be afraid. Too many vampires around, too much risk of being spotted, and I wasn’t going to end up their plaything again—not if I could do anything about it.
He extended his hand. “I won’t let anything happen to you. They’re not coming through this door. The reason they’re in the woods is because humans aren’t, generally, in them in the middle of the night. It’s still a little early in the evening for my taste, but I wasn’t consulted, so for now, I’d rather they forget I’m here so I can stay with you. It’ll be fine. Come on.”
My hand shook, but I let Griffin draw me to him. It might be a business transaction between us, but I’d take the comfort right then. “I can’t go back to how it was. I can’t. I think maybe I should go. Run far away from here. I’m sure you can all find someone else to feed you. Maybe everyone will be like me now.”
“Maci…” He hugged me, which was really surprising. “There is nowhere you could go that the three of us won’t follow. We can’t let you go, you understand that, right? You’re ours.”
I shoved him away, stepping out of his arms like they’d scorched me. He couldn’t have known the emotional havoc I’d just experienced with Tanner, but I couldn’t leave it anymore. This was too much. It just was.
“I’m not going to spend my life being cattle for you. It doesn’t work for me. I don’t want you all to give me things as if we’re involved in some sort of transaction. I know I’m not making sense, but there are vampires fightingfive minutesfrom here. Vampires who made my life hell. You guys can’t do the same, just hiding it in movies and televisions.” Speaking of which, he’d hung the new television up on the wall—actually, that was hugely nice of him.“Thank you for that, by the way.”
Griffin ran a hand through his hair. “You’re not understanding how fundamentally we don’t feel things the way that you do. I care about you as much as I am ever going to care about anything. You know I’m going to live a really long time? That you will be dead and buried, dust in the wind. You could have children who are dead and buried, and I won’t look much older than I do right now. Maybe because of that, we’re made to not really hold on to emotional attachments. Can you imagine a species that lives as long as we do if we really cared that deeply about things emotionally?”
If he had a point, he should make it, because he wasn’t improving my mood. If anything, it got worse because he pointed out that, in addition to how I was feeling, I was also being unreasonable because I expected something they physically couldn’t give me.
The last thing I needed in that moment was for him to call me on my shit.
“I can love. I can hold onto relationships. I may even be able to mourn who you were for the rest of my life. I may still feel the ache for the guy I knew and loved for one week when I’m eighty years old and still feeding the three of you like it’s my job because your fathers made me fucking addicted to the need.”
“So it’s quid pro quo for both of us, then. You feed me because it makes me feel better than anything else has since I first rose, and I make sure you don’t succumb to the addiction I didn’t cause in you.” He motioned between us, in a back-and-forth action. “Anything else that happens is actually just nice, right? A thing that friends do for each other or whatever.”
I rubbed my eyes. “You’re never going to understand it, because while you can apparently remember things from when you were a human, you can’t feel what you did then, and I’m not being reasonable in thinking you should. Got it. Goodnight. Please don’t let the vampires out there kill me. It would be really fucking inconvenient for you to have to go find another constant food source that actually turns you on sexually at this point.”
Yep. I was shouting.
“Maci.” He shook his head. “You understand that I’m not trying in any way to upset you or cause you pain. I’m just telling you the truth.”
Yes he was. I swallowed, tears flowing from my eyes. I didn’t even try to wipe them away. “I’m always expected to change, to adapt to what you all want. I am human. This isn’t how I want to live my brief life. You can comprehend that much at least, right?”
He was quiet and I waited for the next emotional blow. “I can, actually.”
Well, that’s unexpected.“See you tomorrow.”
I almost threatened to run again, but we both knew it wouldn’t happen. I couldn’t live without their venom. If I did manage to escape from them, I’d be back right where I was before.