Well, that told me nothing. I wasn’t frightened, so maybe that meant something. “You can walk in daylight.”
“I’m very old. It’s time to feed you. We do this frequently. There’s nothing to be concerned about, because it gives you the ability to handle your current situation, and means, if you were to die, you’d change into the vampire you were always meant to be.”
The vampire I was always meant to be?“What?”
“Drink this.” I stepped forward and took the glass he offered me.
Right before I would have drank it, I paused.Something is just so off about this.“Are you doing something to me? I have no questions, no fear, and I’m doing what you’re telling me to do, yet I can’t even remember getting here.”
“It’s called compulsion, something we can do with humans. We can all make humans forget, which is how we feed openly. I think you already know that, but, yes, I’m making you do things. Stay inside tonight. There will be a battle. Rowan only thinks he’s winning. For now, it suits me. Soon, things will change. You’ll make it all better.”
His words should make me afraid, but instead, I drank down the offering.I’ve done this before.
The memory was right there, but it slipped away.
* * *
I stood in the kitchen, and the sun was going down.What am I doing here?When had I gotten in the kitchen, and why had I gone in there? I just wasn’t sure. I rubbed my head. Maybe I needed a doctor.
Need hit me—the withdrawal big—and Tanner’s face flashed in my mind. He hadn’t taken enough the night before and he needed more. I spun around, nearly colliding with Caesar.
“Hi,” I smiled at him. “You okay?”
He tilted his head. “Hi. Yes. Were you just outside?”
“No, I was in the kitchen.” I shook my head. “Why?”
“Your hair is wet. It’s raining.” He touched my shoulder. “Your shirt and pants, too. Are you okay?”
I swallowed. “I don’t know, honestly. I can’t remember how I got to the kitchen or what I was doing. It’s like there’s a gap, as if I was sleepwalking or something. I used to do that. I must have dozed off and walked around? Maybe outside? And then I woke up in the kitchen.”
Caesar tapped my chin, so I’d look at him, making me raise my gaze from the floor. “You do sleepwalk. I hate that. During the night, I can prevent it, but if you’re doing it during the day, I have no idea how to make it stop. Are Griffin or Tanner hungry? Is that where you’re headed?”
“Tanner, yes, Griffin no. Long stretch for him. Maybe tomorrow?”
He sighed. “We have to start monitoring how much you feed and when. I would love to get to the point where it’s spread out for you. We can find other people to feed from and space out how much you feed us.”
I grabbed his arm. “Actually, I hate that idea.” They were mine to feed. It was a strange but real thought that I had to acknowledge. “And if you ever must, I’d really prefer you only fed from men.”
I didn’t realize I felt that way until I said it. I looked away. It was foolish of course. They might very well have sexual feelings for men, too. I didn’t know how any of it worked, I just hated the idea of another woman and might be able to handle it better if it was a man.
He pulled me against him. “Other people are just food, I assure you. This doesn’t happen with them. Whatever this is, it’s you, not us.” He kissed my cheek, lingering there. “You’re magic. You’ve always been magic.”
“Caesar,” I whispered, not sure what I would say, but he let me go.
“I have to do my check in. Griffin is going to stay with you tonight, and Tanner didn’t think anyone would look for him tonight, either I have to go. What are you doing after you feed Tanner?”
I took his hand and squeezed it. “I’m staying in tonight.”
“Good. Then I’ll see you when I get back.”
Tanner appeared next to us. He didn’t speak, tilting his head like he was taking in the scene. Yes, he was hungry, but the utter quietness of his movements told me what I needed to know. He wasn’t able to speak again.
I let go of Caesar, who nodded to him, before I tugged Tanner closer to me. “It worked once, maybe it will again. Even if it doesn’t, you need to feed. I can feel it. You didn’t get enough yesterday.”
He didn’t move, staring at me again before he leaned over and inhaled me. He lifted his head, only to do it again.Do I smell bad?I’d showered and put on deodorant when I got up.What does he scent that bothers him?
“Tanner?”