He nodded then tilted his head in the uniquely vampire way.What does he see when he looks at me like that?Caesar kissed me, our lips meeting in a gentle caress. I closed my eyes and let him make love to my mouth. That word I’d thought should make me nervous. It would later, I was sure of it. Right then, I bathed in the knowledge that nothing would come between me and what I wanted—Caesar.
He pressed himself inside of me. As he hit my small barrier, I winced. I expected as much, and I’d known there would be a little bit of pain.
I could see by his expression the second he recognized my discomfort, because he abruptly stopped moving. “Are you okay, Maci?”
Nodding, I kissed his chin. “Normal for the first time.”
“I… I think I knew that somewhere. A lost memory? Not one that I had to hold on to. The discomfort. My apologies. What can I do? Stop?”
He apologized?I wasn’t aware vampirescouldapologize. Saying that would spoil the moment, and it didn’t matter right then. “Keep going. It’ll pass with time. Just have to adjust.”
Caesar nodded, moving, but much slower than I would have liked. Eventually, he fit himself inside of me and thankfully had the presence of mind to pause as my body got used to the intrusion. Suddenly, what had felt stretchy and off wasn’t enough. I wanted more. I lifted my hips, wrapped my legs around him.
“More.”
He smiled and pulled out before he pushed back inside.Yes, there’s the rhythm. I pulsated, getting even wetter with every stroke. I dug my nails into his back, holding onto him as the explosion got closer and closer to the surface.
I had no idea what would happen to me when it came, but I grasped for it just the same.Yes, this is what I needed.
“Maci.” He said my name as if it was a prayer before he took possession of my lips once more. Each second was a gift I was sure I would never have again. Finally, and too soon, I exploded around him. My back arched, and he grabbed me to hold me against him. He pulled us both into a sitting position, with me straddling him as he emptied himself inside of me. I collapsed, my head against his chest as I panted in his arms.
My whole, sweat-drenched body buzzed, my ears rang, and I giggled against him, unable to stop as joy resonated through each tremor of my body in the aftershocks of pleasure.
He kissed the top of my head. “Are you okay?”
“Little giddy, I think.”
It was awkward, but he pulled out of me. Pregnancy might have been a concern—if there was any indication my reproductive system was in working order, which it wasn’t. I didn’t think vampires could carry STIs, or at least I’d never heard of such a thing. Plus, Caesar hadn’t had sex since his rising, that much I was sure of.
I kissed his chest, listened to his heartbeat.
He rolled me beneath him to stare at me for a second. “You haven’t eaten today. I can tell. Vampire thing.”
“I just woke up right before you.”
The head tilt again. “You must have really needed the rest. Much as you are unfed, you are brighter eyed today. You look better.”
“Thanks?” I rolled my eyes at him. “Notsexy pillow talk.”
Caesar got off the bed. “Come. Let’s feed you.”
“I need a shower.” It wouldn’t hurt to change my clothes, either. “All of my things are in my apartment. I have to go there eventually, Caesar. I can’t just stay here.”
He nodded once.Finally, I made a good argument for leaving? “We’ll go there after you eat. I need to shower, too. As for clothes, I will get some for myself while we’re out, too.”
Caesar was really unconcerned about paying for things. He completely robbed the grocery store, and he wanted to most certainly steal himself clothing. Vampires cared little for that sort of right and wrong, so I needed to learn to be okay with that. Otherwise, I’d forever bang my proverbial head against a literal wall.
“Okay.” I dressed in my dirty clothes. By the time I made my way to the kitchen, he was already standing over the stove. “I can cook. I know you hate the smell.”
“I have a very serious diet plan for you. I don’t want you fucking it up.”
Ah, we’re back to this.I jumped onto the counter and crossed my legs, a feat I was proud that I could do. The fact that I was being so incredibly nice and quiet was probably why it was shocking to me when he rounded on me, his face in mine again. “I’m broken. You understand that, right? I am not as I should be. I don’t know why, and what’s more, I am becoming more and more comfortable with the distortedness of my nature. I’m not fit for other vampires because my mind is constantly at war with itself—knowing what Ishoulddo versus what every instinct inside of mebegsit to do.”
I swallowed. “That has to be exhausting. I’m sorry you feel that way? If it helps, and I’m sure that it doesn’t, but I don’t think you’re broken. You’re the only vampire I’ve ever… liked.”
He lifted his gaze. “I thought you hated me.”
“And I thought you didn’t care about such things.”