“I would love that.”
“Emmett has more free time than me if you two want to hang out before then.”
“I would love that too. I have a pool out back,” I tell him. I can’t see his face, but I know he’s smiling.
“That sounds great to me,” he says, and I grin against his chest.
Omega and Alpha pheromones are really intense and I try to rationalize tonight, but Emmett is a Beta, and I’ve never felt more at ease with a person so quickly. As much as I want to please Shyla and have her approval, I want to peel apart everything when it comes to Emmett and make him my person. I wish I could say that this is all I need, that this could be my ideal pack. But something is missing, and that thing is a knot. It’s a non-negotiable for me, it’s something I biologically desire, and it’s something I need in my pack. I know I’m jumping five million steps ahead. But I think I need to make it clear to Emmett and Shyla that it’s something I need.
I dare not ruin this moment as I drift off to sleep wrapped around in comfort and sweet smells.
I wake up with a slight headache, but a huge smile as Emmett’s bare chest is plastered on my skin. I wonder if they are down for another round this morning. Not wanting to ruin the moment, I don’t open my eyes until Emmett speaks.
“Kelsey, Shyla’s got to get to work. Can I have your number so we can plan something soon?” I pat the side of the bed, noting Shyla’s absence and frown. “Don’t worry, sugar, she’s just in the bathroom. We wouldn’t cut and run like that. We do genuinely want to see you again. Honestly, I can’t imagine not seeing you again.” I smile and look up at him. He’s holding his phone to my face. The contact name is already in there ‘Sugar’. I enter my number and give him the phone back. He leans over, kissing me like he wants to fuck me all over again. He groans and leans into my neck. “I wish I could stay, but we only have the one car. I’ll text you later, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Get some more sleep,” he says, hopping off the bed and going to the bathroom. Shyla returns to the bed, not looking like she fucked me within an inch of my life. Completely put together.
“Did Emmett get all of your information?”
“Yes,” I reply, still a little groggy.
“Maybe we can take you out on Wednesday night. Do you like seafood?”
“I love seafood.”
“Perfect,” she says, leaning over and giving me a gentle kiss. “I know last night was a lot all at once, but I go after what I want, Kelsey.”
“Good,” I say, plopping my head down on the pillow.
“Can I lock the door, or do you need to lock it behind us?”
“Just hit the top button when you leave.”
“Okay, I’ll be seeing you soon,” she says confidently, kissing me one more time on my temple. I hear the door shut and the lock whirl as they leave.
I go back to sleep, feeling more at ease than I have in months. Last night was a major risk that I’m glad I took. I want to get to know Shyla and Emmett more, but I’m not going to make the same mistakes as I made before. I can’t dive in and lose myself in another relationship. I need to protect myself.
Another reason I’m glad I have the house to myself again? Being able to wear next to nothing around the house as I draw. I have my headphones on, blaring Greedy by Ariana Grande. I have a few different things I’m working on today. I have a slew of watercolors on the living room table, but right now I have my iPad out, working on some quick digital scenes for one of my best customers.
We’ve never met in person, but their username is DDBanx on Artdox. They tend to want women, and not much else, but I can’t complain. This is a girl with purple hair with a bunny ear headband and a faux fur buttplug up her ass.
I can’t help but to dance a little when I take a break, shaking my ass in my purple lacy panties and a mismatched sports bra. I hate cooking. I have basically cultivated a DoorDash addiction at this point. Trying to rein myself in, I make a deal with myself. If I make myself lunch, I can DoorDash whatever I want for dinner. The compromise means I’m making myself a PB&J and drinking water. I carry my plate back to the living room, making sure I don’t get any peanut butter on any of the art.
I take a bite of the sandwich as my iPad dings. Wait, where’s my phone? Just as I’m contemplating that thought, my front door slams open and a blood curdling scream escapes my lips.
Chapter 5
IwakeupwithCameron plastered against my chest. I can see the pulse of his neck beating heavily and I wish he would let me mark him, claim him as mine. He’s told me why he isn’t ready. We need to find our pack and all bond at the same time. I guess that’s what all the cool packs are doing these days. It’s fucking bullshit. I’m thirty-four, he’s mine and I want the world to know it.
I’ve known that Cameron wants a bigger pack. We both love women and would happily love to expand in that way. I won’t lie, kids are also something I desperately want. I’m a little leery about the idea of having another Alpha in the pack, but if that’s what Cameron wants, I’ll learn to adapt.
He means everything to me. I’m not sure how he became the center of my world so quickly. No, that’s a lie. I do know how it happened. I just don’t like admitting it out loud. It makes me feel like Cameron was a rebound, when he wasn’t, we were what each other needed at that time. We met at a speed dating event. Both of us looking awkward as fuck and standing in the corner. We were each trying to move on from the past. We took one look at one another and realized neither of us were meant to be at the tortuous event and went and got sushi together after. I learned about all of his hobbies, that he likes staying home versus going out, all of his favorite foods. But the thing that really struck me about Cameron is his desire to be wanted, and fuck if I didn’t want to give it to him.
I think I’ve done a pretty good job of being his Alpha, but sometimes I think he deserves more. Like I constantly debate the what ifs of life. What if Kelsey was in a better place when she and Meera broke up? But I can’t think like that, because Cameron was meant to be mine. Sometimes I think they were both meant to be mine. But I know I’m not that deserving.
Kelsey needed me in the worst time of her life and I was there as a friend, as her older brother’s best friend, nothing more. She never saw me more than that, it was obvious. She was too wrapped up in Meera. Right now she needs time to build herself back together. Is there a sick part of me that hopes that maybe she might want me in some other capacity than a friend? Fuck yeah. Is there another part of me that wants to cut my arm off instead of telling Cameron I still have feelings for another Omega? Yeah.