“Shy, baby?” I hear Emmett call and it breaks me. A rogue tear escapes my eye and I press the cool glass to my face. “Shy?” he says again, opening the door and coming to sit on his knees in front of me. “What happened?”
“We lost, and he killed himself.” Taking a hefty sip of my glass and working to remain calm, I tell myself I will not break. I can’t let work affect me like this.
“Baby, you know it’s okay to be upset. You’re allowed to feel for your clients and be mad at the situation.”
“I can’t, Emmett.”
“Why not?”
I look away. How do you tell the man you love that you come from a family of abuse and that you’re afraid that if you let yourself feel too much, you will become like your father? Deep down, I know that it’s not sound logic. But of course, I followed the man down the same career path, found a beta, just like he found my mother. Who’s to say I don’t let work and alcohol get the best of me like he did? I could never hurt the beautiful man in front of me. I even changed my last name to my mother’s name so I wouldn’t share ties with the man who shaped me to live in fear.
The way I keep myself in check is by controlling my emotions. If I don’t let myself get upset, I’ll never project those feelings onto anyone else. Control in every aspect keeps life simple and happy. Chaos is what causes disruptions and vulnerabilities. Things I do not afford myself.
“How was your day with Kelsey?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Great, I met Dom and Cameron, but I think we need to talk more about your day, Shy.” I look down, his bright blue eyes full of emotion. I wish I could feel so freely like Emmett does. Control helps me keep everything in check. I can’t and won’t be likehim. I smile down at my beautiful beta.
“Hearing about your day will make me feel better, what are they like?”
“Cameron is so your type,” he says, and I arch my eyebrow at him. He gets off the floor and sits on the Adirondack chair next to me, taking my hand in his.
“How so?”
“Shy, hot as hell, small, and he definitely looks like he likes an Alpha in charge.” I hum in approval. Emmett knows me well.
“And Dom?”
He scratches the back of his neck. “Well, I’m not so sure. But Kelsey seems to be quite smitten with him.”
I nod my head, sipping the rest of my wine. “I’ll keep an open mind,” I say.
“I think Kelsey is afraid to sleep at her house,” Emmett blurts out.
“What makes you say that?”
“it sounds like she was living with her brother and before that some mysterious ex-girlfriend who sounds like a total cunt. But I don’t think her brother has been gone for long.”
I hum, digging out my phone from my pocket. Pulling up Kelsey’s name, I press call. It only rings twice before there’s an answer.
“Shyla?” she says, her voice thick with sleep.
“Hey, sweet girl.”
“I wish you could have come today.”
“I wish I could have too,” I say, handing Emmett my wine glass. He takes it to the kitchen to refill it for me. “I’ve been thinking a lot about you.”
“I’ve been thinking a lot about you, too.”
“Good things, I hope.”
“Very good things, bordering on devious,” she says.
“If you ever need me, Kelsey, I want you to know you can call me.”
“Thanks, Shyla, I can’t wait to see you on Wednesday.”
“Me either, Emmett and I will plan to pick you up, if that’s all right. I don’t want to seem forward, but maybe pack a bag to stay at our place.”