Mrs. Purdy turned her attention back to my husband, literally going over my head with her gaze.
“Remember that you can find helpful suggestions for consequences on the New Modesty app,” she said, her voice dripping honey.
“Thanks,” Rick replied, and I heard in his voice a coldness that sent a thrill of joy leaping in my heart. “I’m pretty sure I can handle it.”
CHAPTER30
Mandy
On our way home—despite everything I couldn’t help thinking of our beautiful loaner house that way—in the backseat of Scott’s BMW, I clung to that little bit of joy. I tried to persuade myself that when Rick had said he could handle it, he had actually meant that he intended to impose no consequences at all for my so-called lack of manners.
So-called?asked the voice inside me.You were rude to Mrs. Purdy. She absolutely deserved it, but that doesn’t mean you should get away with it.
As I listened to Rick and Scott talk about golf, and GreenMe, and the two restaurants in Rocky Falls town center, I attempted to summon the rational, mature, independent young woman I knew I really was. The brat surfaced instead. Every time I tried to rehearse what I wanted to say to Rick when the door had closed behind us, all the arguments I meant to muster to persuade him to let go of this craziness, my mind’s eye filled instead with scenes of childish defiance.
If he thinks he’s going to punish me again, he has another think coming. He’s not the boss of me. He’s so full of himself. He thinks he can pretend to be this alpha-dog dominant older husband… my fucking lord and master… but it’s just a fucking act.
The obviousness of my husband’s love for me… the certainty I had, deep down, that Rick actuallywasthat alpha… my true happiness to have married an older man who could guide me and care for me… as the car came to a stop in front of the gorgeous house, I pushed them all away despite how very clearly the rational part of me could see it—could see that I needed the lessons my husband meant to teach me, as painful and embarrassing as they might prove.
Rick got out of the passenger side and opened the car door for me before I could do it myself. Whether that came from chivalry or from some paternal impulse, I didn’t know. My inner brat found both possibilities completely unwelcome. As I got out of the car I looked up at him, narrowing my eyes and doing my best to shoot a preemptive warning into his steady gaze:You’d better not be thinking about going through with any of this dominance shit.
My husband’s mouth quirked up into a slight smile, the complete opposite of the reaction I had hoped for. His own warning to me seemed much milder, but that very mildness sent a shiver of fear up my spine and set the crawling bugs—hardly butterflies, now—going inside my tummy.
Rick’s expression said to me, without words, precisely what he had said to Mrs. Purdy.I’m pretty sure I can handle it.
That didn’t mean he would overlook the report the New Modesty agent had given him of my misbehavior. Not at all.
“Ricky…” I said, my defiance melting into a pleading sort of tone as my alarm increased.
“Inside, Dee,” he said, still smiling. “Go on inside while I say goodbye to Scott.”
I swallowed hard, my cheeks burning like a bonfire. I looked over at Scott, who had a wry smile on his face. I remembered seeing him in the hallway of the lodge, that night—only the night before last and seemingly a lifetime ago: before Rocky Falls… before I had become an occasionally obedient, twice punished, dominantly fucked, supposedly submissive bride.
“Thank you for the ride, Scott,” I said, many mingled feelings filling my chest as I realized that I had just shown my good manners. I had been thinking of him as a villain, but he had opened a world of opportunity to Rick—and to me as well. “Say thanks to April for me?”
“I will,” Scott said. “She said she had a great time with you, and she hopes she gets to see you again before you folks go home.”
“Run along inside, Mandy,” Rick said. “I’ll be in in a second.”
My face blazed even hotter as I walked obediently up the walk and opened the front door. No need to lock up in Rocky Falls, I guessed, where security could be taken for granted in a community led by men like Scott—and Rick.
I closed the door behind me and stood in the front hall, facing the hall that led to the master bedroom. I tried to decide what to do, tried to predict what Rick would say and do, and how I would respond. I went through what felt like a zillion scenarios, from screaming resistance to meek acceptance. I hadn’t come close to anything like a decision when I heard the door open again.
The door closed again with a thunk. Rick’s footsteps sounded behind me on the beautiful tile of the front hall.
“Go ahead into the bedroom and take off your clothes, Dee,” he said. “Everything but your underwear. You behaved like a child, and so I’m going to punish you like a child.”
I whirled around, tears already coming into my eyes.
“She’s… she’s just somean,” I said, my hands rising to hang in front of my chest, palms outward as if to push Rick away. “And… I mean, I was just a little, like, sarcastic… not… not really…”
“You were rude. That’s clear to me. I don’t think she’s mean, really, either. She’s doing her job.”
Rick crossed his arms over his chest and regarded me seriously, I could see in his face that he meant to be fair, and I couldn’t keep down the surge of love that rose in me at that knowledge.
“But her job is… is, you know, tomakeme into this Rocky Falls demure, submissive… I mean, it’scrazy. Youknowit’s crazy. And I can’t… I just can’t…”
He waited until I had run out of words. Then he spoke, slowly and evenly.