“Ask him? I cannot do that. Such feelings aren’t there. It is desire, perhaps lust, and nothing more because I have been alone far too long.”
And truth be told, the quest for adventure had swept her away. It had been rather exciting searching the property for signs of buried or hidden treasure, and that only enhanced her love of the holiday season.
“Perhaps it is too early in the relationship to fret over what it will be when I don’t even know what it is now.” When she leaned over to pet Mathieu’s head, he protested with an overly loud meow and then moved to the opposite side of the desk. “Fine. Let us talk about something else then.”
Of course, the animal offered no suggestions.
“I would like to give Hawk a token of affection for Christmas. No matter that he sets me at sixes and sevens, his arrival has given me back a sense of purpose and a new light in my soul. I want to thank him for that, but how?” Unfortunately, Mathieu had decided at that moment that he needed a bath and had stopped listening to her. “A fat lot of help you’ve been.” She unfolded herself from the chair and then stood. “I’m going to sort through a few things upstairs. Will you accompany me?”
Mathieu continued to clean between the toes of one paw as if his life depended upon it.
No sooner had she opened the door and entered the corridor beyond than Hawk rounded the corner and headed in her direction.
“Oh, dear. He isquitepersistent.”
“So this is where you’ve hidden yourself,” he said upon reaching her position. “I have searched the house from top to bottom.” The intensity of his ice blue gaze sent shivers of anticipation down her spine. “Is all well?”
Having someone care about her and ask after her health was unexpectedly kind. “Yes, of course. I just didn’t wish to be around people.”
“Ah.” A frown pulled the corners of his lips downward. “Are you angry at me for what happened yesterday afternoon?” Concern creased his forehead.
What a dear he was to worry. “No, of course not.” Ushering him into the study, she gently closed the door behind them. “Yesterday was…” She pressed her lips together as she searched her mind for words. “It was lovely.”
“Lovely, eh?” He wandered over to the desk, held out a hand, and then proceeded to pet Mathieu, who had no shame as he rubbed his body back and forth against Hawk’s hip. “That’s not exactly what a man wishes to hear after a coupling.”
Heat slapped at her cheeks. “Well, I’m certainly not going to say anything else that will inflate your already large ego.” And she wasn’t confident enough to tell him what that afternoon had meant to her.
A wicked gleam jumped into his eyes she didn’t quite trust. “I hope that wasn’t the only thing you thought was large.”
“Montague!” She used his given name to make a point. “Don’t be uncouth, and if you must hunt for a compliment, you apparently didn’t pay enough attention yesterday.”
“I’m willing to go another round to make certain it wasn’t a fluke.” He patted his shoulder, and drat if the cat didn’t jump off the desk to perch here, looking for all the world as if he belonged.
“I shall bear that in mind.” If he gave her any more carnal attention, her brain would completely melt away. “Why were you looking for me just now?”
Immediately, he sobered while Mathieu gave his hair an experimental lick. “To see how you fared. I feared you might not have enjoyed yourself or thought I took too many liberties.” When he shrugged, the cat voiced a protest. “If any of those things did occur, I am heartily sorry I offended you. That wasn’t my intention. I merely wished to comfort you, to keep that loneliness at bay for a time.”
“Oh, and here I assumed you merely wished to ravish me,” she shot off before she could recall the words.
His chuckle tickled through her chest. “Well, there was that, but I was trying to be adorable and proper.”
“There is no need.” Belle lowered her voice. “I wanted your body too.” Still did, if she were honest. “Do you know what I want now?”
“Is it the same thing I do?” He waggled his eyebrows.
Probably not. “If you wish to read me bits fromThe Timesin the drawing room, then yes.” When he looked skeptical, she giggled. “Or, you can help me make snowflakes out of paper, and if you do well I will…” She’d what?
Hawk came around the desk and took one of her hands in his. “Let me kiss you again?”
A tremble moved down her spine. Awareness sailed over her skin. “That remains to be seen, but if I offer that up every time, it will cease to retain its appeal.” Oh, it was such fun teasing him! “Truth be told, I wouldn’t mind learning more about you because I somehow suspect my staff is going much the way of Mathieu and favoring you more than me.”
“Nonsense, for they adore you without measure and merely want to see you happy.” The emotions in his eyes were inscrutable then he grinned. “Let us not waste any more time.” He reached up and patted the cat’s side. “Come, Mathieu. We have a mission to accomplish.”
Keeping her heart aloof might prove a problem, since it had a tendency to thump wildly every time he came near. Where was the harm, really, when it made her feel as if she could fly about the room? One more afternoon and then she’d keep her distance.
Truly, it was for the best.
Chapter Ten