“That’s because you’re a force to be reckoned with.”
She smiles, and for a moment, I see something flash behind her eyes. She licks her lips and studies my mouth, and I’m tempted to kiss her. Unsaid emotions stream between us, pulling us closer. The anticipation of having her tongue slide against mine again is almost too much. Her eyes flutter closed, and I slowly move forward. Right before our lips crash together, Dasher plows into Fallon, and she falls to her side as he continues to play. Fallon throws snow in his direction and he barks at it, trying to catch it in his mouth.
“Dasher,” I groan, hating that he ruined the moment but also finding it hilarious.
Once both of Fallon’s feet are firmly planted on the ground, she offers to help me up. As I stretch out my hand, I simultaneously reach behind me and grab another fistful of snow. She doesn’t realize it until it crashes into her forehead.
Fallon growls, then the fight continues until we’re breathless. Dasher is having the time of his life out here, and I’m almost willing to bet Fallon is too.
After admiring the view a little longer, we make our back to the sleigh, and then ride toward the barn.
“You know, I don’t think I’ve enjoyed myself this much during the holidays since before my mom died,” Fallon admits as we sit close together.
“Really?”
She nods, and I can see she’s lost in her head.
“I’m honored, Fallon. Do you want to talk about it?”
She sucks in a deep breath and unscrews the top of the hot cocoa, taking a big swig. “My mom passed away two days after Christmas. The anniversary is something I dread every year.” She pauses. “You know, I hear these stories about people with sick parents who had time to prepare themselves for the worst. I didn’t get that, my mom was gone in a blink.”
“I’m sorry,” I offer. “I know it’s cliché and that’s probably what everyone says but no one should ever lose a parent at a young age.”
“I appreciate it. I was eleven when she passed. Taryn’s two years older and helped me a lot, but it wasn’t her responsibility to raise me. My teen years were difficult without my mom. We were all grieving at the same time too, which didn’t help.”
“I can’t imagine, but I can understand why you wouldn’t like this time of year. I’d feel the same way.”
“Thanks,” she whispers, and I place my arm around her back, offering what comfort I can.
“I live with a lot of guilt that she died.”
I look over at her. “How come?”
“My mom would do anything for us girls, and that night, we wanted McDonald’s. Mom didn’t care that it was raining, living in Seattle, you learn to deal and drive in it. On her way there, a drunk driver swerved into her lane, and crashed into her. She died instantly.”
I pull her closer into me. Instinctively, I rub her arm, then place a soft kiss on her forehead. “That’s not your fault, sweetheart. You don’t have to live with that on your conscience. Your mom obviously loved you and wanted to make you happy.”
She wipes a few tears away and it breaks my fucking heart.
“The day my mom died was the day Christmas became dead to me. I buried every ounce of holiday spirit I had with my mom because it was her favorite holiday. She used to go all out with decorating and we had a light viewing tradition. There would be trees in every room, advent calendars leading up to Christmas Day, and she did everything in her power to make it special for us. Being here with you made me remember things I’ve kept buried for a long time. The happy times with my mom are nice memories to have, and I’ll forever be grateful for that.”
I give her a sweet smile. “Guess that scammer didn’t ruin everything after all.”
She snorts. “I know I’ve completely taken over your space and have gotten in your way.”
In my heart too, but I don’t say that. “I’ve enjoyed having you around. It’s made me realize a lot of things. Plus, Dasher loves his new babysitter.” I reach over and pet his head. The past few days, something intense has been brewing between us, and I’m convinced she feels it too.
She looks over at Dasher. “He’s still a little shit, even though he’s cute.”
“Yeah, but ya like him, just admit it already,” I tease. Wishing we had the courage to put our hearts on the line.
CHAPTERSIXTEEN
FALLON
We continue down the trail,jingle bells jangling and I feel as if the elephant that’s been sitting on my back for the past twenty years, moved over a little.
“What are you thinking about?” Levi asks before I get too lost in my head.