When our conversation comes to a lull, I change the subject. “Have you talked to Dad lately?”
“A few days ago,” she tells me. “He was doing okay. Why?”
“I was just thinking about him.”
“Should give him a call,” she suggests.
“Yeah, maybe I will,” I offer. “How are my favorite nieces?”
“They’ve been extra good, but that’s what happens when Christmas is in less than two weeks. All I have to do is mention the naughty list or that god-forsaken elf, and the fighting stops. I’m going to be sad when I can’t use that to my advantage anymore.” She laughs.
They’re the perfect little family, and while I never try to compare myself, my sister makes me feel like I’m being left behind in the game of getting married and having a family. It’s great being independent and doing what I love, but I still wish I had more purpose in my life.
She continues on as I finish my soup, and when she gets another call, we say our goodbyes. Dasher is lazily lying by my feet. Instead of moving back to the living room, I decide to stay and work from here.
There’s a perfect view of the pond and now that the furnace is working, the entire house is toasty warm. As I stare out the window, letting my mind wander, I decide to finally call my dad. It rings a few times, and I almost expect him not to answer, but he does.
“Hey, honey. Happy holidays.”
I scoff. “Bah Humbug.”
“Somehow I knew you’d say that. How have things been going?”
We’d briefly chatted before my trip here, so I fill him in on the latest but leave out the parts that would make him worry.
“Everyone is very nice here. The town really is like the North Pole,” I explain. “And the mayor dresses like Santa and hands out candy canes.”
Dad chuckles. “That sounds like your own personal hell.”
“Oh, it is,” I admit. “But it’s not as bad as I thought it’d be. Or I’m just warming up to it now.”
“That’s good, at least. Maybe you’ll find the Christmas spirit while you’re there.” He muffles like he’s holding back laughter.
“Yeah, yeah.” I swallow hard, thinking about what Levi said aboutChristmas spiritthe night we slept together. I ask about my stepmom Shannon, and I can hear the smile in his voice when he talks about her.
“She’s great now that I let her decorate the house for the holidays. Honestly, I’m still getting used to it.”
My dad met Shannon while I was in college eight years ago, and they hit it off immediately. I don’t have a relationship with her, but she’s always been kind. Plus, my father seems happy, and that’s really all I want for him
“Yeah, I understand that,” I say, scanning Levi’s house. My mom was the only other person I knew who loved Christmas as much as him.
“Well, sweetheart, I should probably let you get back to your writing. Keep in touch, okay?”
“I will. Love you, Dad.”
“Love you too, my little grinch.”
Laughter escapes me as I end the call, feeling much better now that I’ve heard his voice. This time of year is always the hardest for me, and I usually dive into work without a second thought. My sister has her family and my dad has Shannon, and then there’s me, the scrooge who refuses to celebrate. Before they take hold and ruin the rest of my day, I push those thoughts away.
Wanting a mindless task, I scroll through my social media feeds. Eventually, I pull myself away, then work for another hour before I realize my bladder is about to explode. I get up and rush to the bathroom. When I return, the back door opens and closes, and I smile, knowing Levi’s finally home.
I hate to admit it, but I miss him when he’s gone.
“Hi,” I say, keeping my tone flat.
“Damn, it’s hot in here. Guess Jasper stopped by?” He strips off his gloves, jacket, and hat.
“Yep, around lunch. It’s a perfect seventy-five degrees,” I say, returning to my stool.