It was impossible to verbalize what had occurred between us. And not just because the specifics were fuzzy. It was more than that. We had essentially poured our hearts out to each other. For the first time since we had met, we had a legitimate conversation. We shared intimate details of our lives. We talked at length about what we both secretly wanted but weren’t getting out of it. We talked about all of the things that had gone wrong in our previous relationships. I’d told Jillian things I had never told anyone before. And, she had done the same supposedly.
Sure, the alcohol might have been what allowed us both to open up, but we connected in an insane way that went beyond being drunk. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. In that moment we got each other. It was a lightning in a bottle type moment, never to be recreated. I was positive that it was all real and significant, even if Jillian had forgotten it.
And so, when she spontaneously leaned in and kissed me, it felt unbelievably right. Inevitable. And I was only a man, so, well, I went with it.
“So, we talked. And we obviously…” She gestured shyly at the bed and then held up her hand. “But what about this?”
I couldn’t entirely stop my grin. “Honestly, I’m somewhat in the dark there too. We were talking, and then, umm, kissing. That much is clear. But then we were in a chapel. I do remember you telling me that after what my brother did you were afraid of never finding a good guy, and that you would die alone with twenty cats. I think I offered to marry you, you know, to prevent that from happening. It was the chivalrous thing to do if you ask me.”
Jillian shot me some serious side-eye, and I bit back my chuckle. I couldn’t help finding it funny. We had become a cliché. A cautionary tale. If it had been with anyone other than Jillian, I would have found it outright hilarious.
“That does sound like something I would have said. I have said it, in fact, more than once in the last week. Obviously, I’m still dealing with what Eric did. And not well.” She said, slumping over.
This time, my brother’s name landed between us like a bomb. We had been doing a decent job of avoiding the elephant in the room. But he was unavoidable, no matter how much I tried to pretend that he had nothing to do with me and Jillian. Especially since technically his poor judgment was the reason Jillian had shown up in Vegas in the first place, and I couldn’t be upset about that part, considering how it had ended.
The rest of it though, just no. I didn’t want to think about him. I didn’t want to think about how long they had been together. Or how badly he had treated Jillian.
Or how much I’d wanted her for myself.
“I know you don’t remember anything, but last night wasn’t about Eric. Not really. After that one conversation we barely talked about him, or what happened between you two. Most of the time we were just having fun. A lot of it.” I raised one eyebrow.
“Uh huh. Too much, I’d say. How sure are we that this marriage is real?” She asked, her expression wry.
At least she was finally finding the humor in the situation. Even if just a tiny bit.
“This probably isn’t the answer you want, but I think it’s legal. We gave them our ID’s and signed our names to a piece of paper. I definitely remember that part, because you giggled at my middle name for like five minutes. I thought it was cute. I might have suggested we name one of your future twenty cats—”
“Leonard!” She blurted. Her eyes got huge. “How do I remember that?”
Relief flooded through me to an embarrassing degree. “It will probably come back to you little by little over the next day or so. Not all of it, but enough, hopefully.”
Jillian sat silently. Her face was so expressive I could practically read the thoughts running through her head. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to remember or not.
“Well. That should be interesting,” she finally said. “Anyway, the pressing question now is, what do we do? Go back to the chapel? Or a courthouse? This kind of thing has to happen all the time, right? There’s probably just a form or something we need to fill out. I’d rather get it taken care of now, before anyone finds out. No offense.”
Offense was definitely taken. We had been married less than twelve hours and she was desperate to get rid of me. My pride aside, I wasn’t going to give up quite that easily.
I got up and moved to the edge of the bed, sitting only feet from Jillian. It was the closest we had been since waking up. I ached to touch her again, to see how it felt when I was mostly sober. We had only just gotten started, there was so much more I wanted to do with her. And if we annulled the marriage today, I’d never get that chance. I was sure of it. If anything, this would scare her off more.
“Wait, hold on. Slow down,” I said in a calm tone. “I get how you’re feeling. I do. But maybe you should wait to see how much comes back to you before we do anything. Making another rash decision doesn’t undo the first one. And neither of us is in the best frame of mind yet.”
She leaned forward, her expression incredulous. “Are you suggesting that there’s any scenario in which you think we should stay married? Are you insane?”
I tried to think of an answer that wouldn’t freak her out more. “Why not? It already happened. And it’s not like anything technically has to change because of it. It’s just a piece of paper. Why not let it play out?”
Jillian laughed and waved a hand wildly in the air. “Why not? Gee, I don’t know. Because we aren’t actually together. In fact, until last week I was dating your brother!”
“Do you care what he thinks?” I shot back.
Her features hardened. “No, not him. But, what about your parents? My parents? Our friends? How on Earth would I explain this?” She shook her head, then winced, as if that movement hurt. “This is all beside the point. It isn’t about anyone else. I mean, we aren’t…you know. We’re not. We don’t, feel that way, right? What reason would we have to stay married?”
I stared at my clenched hands. It was a loaded question if ever there was one. “I can’t speak for you. But last night was incredible for me. We were amazing together. What I do remember I’ll remember for my entire life. I sincerely hope you remember it eventually, too, if for no other reason than it was worth remembering.” I lifted my gaze back to hers. “I know it’s crazy, considering the history, but I think we could really have a shot at something. Maybe a friendship, maybe more. But if we quit now, we’ll never know what it could be.”
“Maybe.” Jillian said, her tone skeptical. “Staying married, though? Doesn’t that seem extreme?”
Before I could respond, my phone’s alarm beeped from somewhere in the room. And just like that, the rest of the world returned. I jumped to my feet.
“Oh, shit, what time is it? I’m supposed to be meeting the guys this morning. We have a trip out to Lake Mead planned for today. Part of the bachelor weekend festivities. I’m sorry to run off, but I’m his best man. I really need to be there for Alex.”