“What?” His smile gets even wider as he pops another cookie in his mouth.
“Nothing.” I shake my head at him. “Absolutely nothing. Please continue.”
Coming as no surprise, the Oreo package is empty now, and he crushes—or rather smashes—the cookies in the bag with a small mallet he got out of one of the drawers.
Shaking my head at him, I get started on the popcorn, and once that’s in the bowls, I pop the white chocolate chips in.
When I carry it to the kitchen island, Ash stares at me expectantly. “Are you ready to be amazed?”
I snort. “Sure. Show me what you got.”
He grabs the melted chocolate and drizzles it over the popcorn before dropping half of the Oreo crumbles on each one. After giving both bowls a good shake, he hands me one. “You’re welcome.”
I start to roll my eyes but catch myself halfway, my dad’s words echoing through my mind.
No one likes a childish woman.
Since I already took a piece of the popcorn-cookie mix, I put it in my mouth, despite the fact that my dad just ruined my mood with a simple memory. My taste buds try to talk to me, and I half-heartedly realize how delicious it actually is.
Peeking up, I find Ash’s waiting gaze on me.
He lifts both brows. “Aaaaaand?”
The corners of my mouth don’t want to work properly, so I nod. “It’s good.”
His whole demeanor changes to match mine. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
I shake my head. “Nothing, just thought of something.”
He purses his lips but doesn’t say anything, which I’m grateful for.
The last thing I need is for him to start asking questions.
What I need is a distraction. I think for a minute, remembering something he said earlier. “Before, you mentioned a team that includes you three guys and others. What exactly do you do?”
Eyes on me, he tilts his head to the side and regards me like he’s trying to decide what to tell me. Then he pops a piece of popcorn into his mouth. “How much do you know about the business dealings and all that happens in and among the families?”
It takes me all of three seconds to think before I shake my head. “Not much. My dad thinks that the business isn’t for women. My job is to look pretty, to be quiet, and to marry someone who can benefit our family.”
The moment the words are out of my mouth, bile rises in my throat, and I cover my mouth.
La famiglia è tutto.
Family is everything, and once again, I’m a disgrace to it. If he could hear me right now, he’d shun me from my family, this time officially, and not just emotionally like he’s done ever since my mom died.
He always wanted a son but got me instead, and no siblings followed due to complications. The only person who ever really cared about me was my mamma, and she died for it, something my papà will never forgive me for.
“You look like you could use a hug.”
Ash’s voice yanks me out of my thoughts, and when I blink back into the here and now, my eyes are burning. He’s moved closer, one of his hands on my upper arm, like he wanted to make sure I don’t fall over.
Not overthinking it, I take him up on his offer and close the distance between us. I exhale loudly, sinking into the comfort of the hug I hadn’t realized I needed so badly. It’s been way too long since I last had one, probably the day of the shooting at the club, and that was only a quick one from Ally.
I tilt my head to the side and press against his chest, my arms now tight around his middle. If it’s awkward for him, he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he cocoons me in his warm arms, and I soak it all in. The burning sensation in the back of my eyes comes back, but I don’t even care.
Without realizing it, he gives me exactly what I need, refilling the part of me that craves human contact. The part of me that needs to be touched and hugged and loved, so I don’t wither away.
When I pull back, Ash cradles my face in his hands. “You’re not okay, are you?”