“Did you hear me? She. Wouldn’t. Let. Me. See. You.” His voice is so flat, he sounds like a robot.
My brain goes back to that horrible scene from five years ago when I lost the most important person in my life, the only one who was ever truly on my side and tried to protect me the best she could.
I heave again at the gruesome memory, thankful that nothing comes up this time. “My bunny.”
Frederico shrugs. “You loved that bunny. I thought maybe if you were in pain, I could be the one to console you.”
My body convulses over and over, and the sour smell permeating the room from my stomach contents on the floor only worsens it. But in the bigger scheme of things, it’s a small problem compared to the reality that my cousin is actually a delusional psychopath.
His words trigger something, and my thoughts jump to when I found the dead bunny on the porch at Matteo’s cabin. “Oh my gosh, that was you upstate with the bunny? And the . . . and the pictures.”
It seems like that was the wrong thing to say because Frederico stops walking and comes for me once more. But this time, he doesn’t stop in front of me; instead, he goes straight for my throat, squeezing so hard I gasp for air, but none comes.
“At first, I wanted to kill you for that, but then I remembered that you had no choice. You only did it since you were scared and didn’t want your dad to sell you again.”
The pressure on my neck lessens. It’s still hard to breathe, but not impossible anymore. But with how things have been going, that might change any second, and this will indeed be the last thing I’ll ever see in my life.
Just when I was finally happy, when I had a husband I actually loved. Crap. IloveMatteo, I really do. I’ve fallen for him somewhere along the way but never allowed myself to feel it, not truly, let alone tell him.
My eyes fill with tears, and they overflow one by one as I glance up at my cousin, the same person I laughed with a million times in my life. The person who killed my mother. I cry and I cry and I cry, the dam in my brain broken down completely.
“Shh, bellissima, it’s okay. I forgive you.” He lets go of my throat and wipes at my tears before picking me up and lying down with me, cradling me in his arms.
I’m not sure how long we stay like this, only that it feels like hours, but I don’t dare move. This might be my only chance to think and attempt to regain more of my strength and wits.
However, at some point, my bladder complains, and I have to shift around to alleviate the feeling.
“What is it, piccolina?” His breath hits my neck.
I bite the inside of my cheek to contain the shudder that wants to rush through my body at having this monster so close to me. “I need to use the bathroom.”
“Go ahead.” He opens his arms, letting me out of his cocoon. “I’ll wait.”
“Okay,” I whisper the word as quietly as possible, trying to sound and appear as friendly and as weak as possible.
I have no way of knowing if he’ll turn into a monster again, so I need to be smart about this. My steps are light and quiet as I walk to the bathroom, carefully avoiding the vomit on the floor. Once I’m inside the small room, I close the door and pee.
Everything in my brain is flitting around manically, trying so hard to come up with a way to get out of this situation.
Bedroom windows?Too high and too small.
Bathroom window?No window.
Anything that can be used as a weapon?Not unless I get my hands on one of the broken table pieces.
That’s how far I get until he calls out, “Everything okay?”
His voice still sounds calm and nice, but my heartbeat picks up a notch.
“Yes, I’m almost done.” Keeping my voice steady, when all I want to do is cry or scream, isn’t easy, but since he only says, “Okay,” I’m guessing it was good enough.
I pull up my workout shorts and brush along their sides to slide up my sweatpants just as I feel something hard. My hands shake while I brush over it again. I close my eyes and press my lips together, hoping it’ll help me keep my emotions at bay since they’re trying to overflow in all directions.
My knife is in the side pocket of my workout shorts. I put it in there, so I could practice some more with it, while Matteo was meeting up with Nikolai. When I left the apartment in a panic, I only threw on my sweatpants, not even thinking about the knife.
Now it’s burning a hole in my pants. I take it out and stuff it into the deep pocket of my hoodie. I’m yanking up my sweatpants just as the door flies open.
My chest is so tight, it feels like my rib cage might burst soon.