She bites her lip to stifle a smile, my gaze automatically dropping to her mouth to watch it happen. But then she hops up onto her seat at the high-top and gestures for me to take my turn at the board.
I shake my head and line up to lose again. "You're trouble," I mumble.
I let loose one dart—that goes so wide it's a miracle it even hits the board—when Hailey pipes up behind me. "So how have you been? What's going on with you lately?"
I line up for another shot. "Nothing very exciting." I shrug. "All I do is work and train, per usual. Work is good. The company hired some new developers a few months ago, so we launched a new software product that's doing well. The money is good right now, which always makes life a lot easier. So I can't complain."
I let the last two darts fly as she says, "That's always good. And you still like the company? The industry? You think you're going to stay?"
I shrug as I walk back to stand next to the high-top to grab my beer. "I like technology. And I like selling it because it makes good money. Maybe one day I'll go over to the engineering side to be more hands-on with the products, but I'm content where I am right now. And Corporate America suits me."
She chuckles at that. "Who would've thought. Just once I'd love to be in the room when you meet a new client and their eyes go wide when the very large and insanely hot, blonde-haired, blue-eyed Scandinavian model walks in to start talking shop with them."
It takes her a moment to realize what she just let slip but when she does, she sucks in a startled breath. When she sees my lips twitch in an attempt to smother my grin, she tries to cover her tracks by gesturing at me and saying, “I mean, you’re—you know—you’re huge. Do they look surprised you know your stuff?”
I reach forward to affectionately flick her nose, which makes her laugh again. "Smartass," I murmur. But there's a smile on my face.
"What about fighting?" she asks, the dart board momentarily forgotten. "I know you've been… less than enthusiastic lately. Do you know what you're going to do?"
I sigh, the smile dropping from my face. "I don't think my heart is in it anymore. I love training but I don't feel the same hunger to fight that I did before. The last fight was the hardest training camp to date because there were more bad days than good ones—I barely pushed through it, even though it ended with a win." I start to pick at the label on the beer bottle, unable to keep from fidgeting as I try to describe my inner turmoil. "I feel ridiculous saying I want to retire for a corporate job. But lately… it just feels like I want to move on. Like I'd rather settle for a steady, easy job, with a nice hobby, and actually get to relax with my family and friends. The stress of fighting just doesn't even out with the payoff anymore." I shake my head and take a swig of my beer. "That probably sounds ridiculous."
Hailey places a hand on my arm, a serious and fiery look in her eyes. With me standing and her sitting at the high-top, she’s almost at the right height to stare directly into my eyes. "Of course that doesn't sound ridiculous,” she says firmly. “It sounds like your priorities have changed, and different things make you happy now. That's not a bad thing, Jax, or anything you need to be ashamed of."
I push my beer bottle around again, still unable to make eye contact. "It doesn't sound like I'm giving up? Like I'm settling because I'm lazy?"
"No, ofcoursenot," she huffs in frustration. "Nobody would ever think that, especially of you." She tugs on my arm to force me to meet her gaze. "Nobodywould think that, Jax. Nobody would judge you for it."
When I'm still not convinced, she says, "Fine, then look at it this way. Fighting is 90% mental, right? That's what I always hear." She waits for my nod before she continues. "Then how could you even keep fighting if your head isn't in it anymore? This isn't a sport you can fake your way through. Fighting when you don't want to fight sounds really dangerous."
I finally meet her eyes of my own volition. "Okay, that makes sense."
She nods, looking pleased with my answer. "You can always go back if you miss it. But it doesn't sound like a good idea to do it just because you feel like you need to." Her expression turns worried. "That sounds like a good way to get hurt. And watching you fight is hard enough."
I sigh. "Okay, you're right. I think I already knew all of that, I just didn't want to admit it to myself. I haven't talked to anyone else about it."
She smiles, the brightness of it immediately lightening the weight on my chest. She’s so fuckingpretty."Remy and Tristan would both understand, but I'm glad you feel like you can talk to me about it."
I smile back at her; if she were closer to me and standing, I'd pull her into a hug. "Always so wise," I murmur, settling for squeezing her hand that's still on my arm.
The light in her eyes fades the slightest bit. And when she speaks, I know why. "I missed you," she says quietly. "I missed talking to you and hanging out with you. I'm sorry, I fell off the face of the earth for such a stupid reason."
At that, I really do pull her into a hug. I tug her off her seat and immediately wrap my arms around her, reveling in the fact that she tucks under my chin and fits perfectly in my arms. "Don't you dare apologize for something like that," I murmur. "It's completely natural to get caught up in a relationship and see your friends less. You did nothing wrong."
Her arms wrap around me, and I squeeze her tighter to my body. "I missed you too, though,” I murmur into her hair. “I'm happy I have you back."
Her head tips back and she looks up at me with a smile. "I'm happy too. I don't like not being around you."
I press a kiss to her forehead, my lips lingering for a moment. It feels so natural to hold her like this. And I'm effortlessly swept up in the essence ofHailey, of her sweetness and beauty and genuine kindness, and for a moment, the knowledge that she's here in my arms is enough to steal the breath from my lungs.
Hailey breaks our connection by pulling away, and I reluctantly let her go. But there's a smile beginning to form on her face as she asks, "Wanna keep being around me?"
My brow furrows in confusion, but I nod.
Her smile grows. "Good. Then let's go get drunk."
12
HAILEY