Remy just watches me for a moment, clearly trying to be careful about what she wants to say. "Because what about making you happy?" she finally asks softly. "When was the last time you did something that made you happy?"
I glare at my sister. "I do that plenty of times," I snap. "Jaxmakes me happy. Spending time withyoumakes me happy. You guys are acting like I'm a miserable yes-man that follows everyone around like a sad puppy."
She shakes her head, the sadness apparent in her eyes. "First of all, no one thinks that. Second of all, I'm not just asking about things that make you happy, I'm asking when youprioritizedyour happiness. When was the last time you chose yourself even though it inconvenienced or bothered someone else?"
I roll my eyes and open my mouth to answer, but... "Oh," I breathe.
Remy just gives me a sad nod.
I shake out of my daze and try again. "But it's not like I've ever been a selfish person. I mean, you know me, I've always been the people-pleaser. Why is it a problem now?"
"Because it's at a level where it's hurting you now. Because you don't even think you can say no since Steve convinced you that you don't deserve to stand up for yourself. And Jax probably saw that, and cared about you enough to want that for you."
I twirl my beer again, feeling uncomfortable with this revelation. "But why did he have to dump me for that to happen? Why not justhelpme become a stronger person? It's not like he wasn't already doing that. So why now? Why like this?"
"Because you can't really embrace it while he's close enough to hold your hand. He probably wants you to discover that level of self-confidence on your own." She hesitates, then asks, "A couple of weeks ago you said something about not being able to make a decision on something until you talked to Jax. Did that have anything to do with this?"
I open my mouth to tell her about Stacey's offer. But when I realize I haven't considered it seriously enough to even tell Remy about it, I drop my head in shame.
"Stacey offered me the café," I mumble, my face heating.
"WHAT?!" she shouts. "When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me?!"
I wince. "I'm sorry. I should've told you. I don't actually want to take it and Jax and I got into a weird fight about it so I didn't really want to talk about it anymore."
"Why wouldn't you take it?" Remy asks with a shell-shocked expression. "That's insane. That's your whole dream!"
For some reason, when Remy's the one thatlays it out like that, it seems ridiculous.
But I try to defend my reasoning anyway. I stutter through my defense, trying to remember why I felt so adamant about it with Jax. "Because I'm in school right now! Because I'm too young, I'm not ready."
Remy just continues to stare at me as if I have three heads. Or rather, like I have none, since she's looking at me like I'm an idiot.
"What are you talking about? Stacey's name might be on the café, but you've been running that thing pretty much since you moved to the city. It has your name written all over it. To be honest, I'm surprised it's taken her this long to offer it to you."
I can only blink at my sister in disbelief and panic. "What about school? I still have two more years left!"
Remy just waves a hand in the air as if that doesn't matter. "You don't need a degree if you're offered your dream job without it. I'm not saying you haven't learned valuable business skills in the past two years—okay, maybe only one, everyone knows freshman year is a joke—but you can learnwaymore from real-life experience. You can probably run circles around graduates of the business program even now." She narrows her eyes at me in accusation. "Plus, tell me that Stacey didn't offer to show you the ropes first."
I duck my head so she can't meet my eyes.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. So what's your hold-up?" I start to answer but she cuts me off with a firm, "What's your hold-upreally?"
My immediate reaction is to defend myself and continue arguing that I'm not ready for this kind of responsibility. But Remy's staring at me with such an intense glare that I force myself to think about it for a minute first.
"I—I don't know," I finally admit. "I do think both of those things are still true, but I guess part of me is just scared that I wouldn't be able to handle it. I mean,fuck, it's a huge responsibility to own your own business."
A wry grin stretches across Remy's face. "When did you start cursing, little sister?"
My smile feels tight and unused on my face, but genuine nonetheless. "It's a new thing for when I'm dealing with intense emotions."
She just laughs. "I like it." But then she sobers and turns her attention back to me. "It's okay to be afraid. But more often than not it's worth doing thingsdespitebeing afraid. This is one of them."
I don't respond, I just take another swig of my beer and mull over her words.
"Okay, what about school, then? Why is it so important to finish your bachelor's? Even though you clearly don't need it to land your dream job."
I had started to answer but snap my mouth closed and glare at her for that last jab. She just chuckles and raises her hands in surrender.