She cocks her head as she looks at me. She doesn’t ask anything else but she must come to a conclusion because she nods and turns to pull me into the living room. “Let’s hang out here tonight. We can watch a movie or something?”
I nod and let her pull me down to the couch. I don’t give her any space, I just wrap immediately around her, which causes her to giggle again.
I love the sound more than anything.
We spend the next few hours curled into each other watching TV and talking about everything and nothing. It’s the kind of easy night that—minus the touching—Hailey and I have enjoyed for years throughout our friendship.
I slowly manage to let go of my nerves. My conversation with Tristan is still sitting in the back of my mind, but instead of waiting for the shoe to drop, I now find myself focusing on his words tobe patient with her, she’ll figure it out.
I sneak a glance at Hailey as she’s tucked under my arm. She’s happy, and laughing at something on the TV. My heart wants to burst at the sight of her looking so content.
“You’re not working tomorrow, right?” I ask her, suddenly overcome with the need to keep her by my side for as long as possible.
She shakes her head. “I’m off tomorrow and Monday.” She turns to look at me. “Why? Wanna do something?”
I can’t help reaching forward with a finger to trace her nose, her eyebrows, the angles of her face. I feel so enamored with her, it’s insane.
“I have to teach two private lessons tomorrow but why don’t you come with me and then I’ll take you out on a date at night? Whatever you want to do, I’m down. We can even hit repeats on yourCarpe Noctem Listif you want.”
I’m smiling at my joke, but I feel her stiffen against me. My finger pauses on its trail, and I frown in confusion.
“You don’t want to wait for me at the gym?” I ask her.
She sees my smile dropping and immediately tries to plaster one on her face. It would fool me except I know every expression she has, and I know this one doesn’t reach her eyes.
“Of course, I’ll come with you,” she says, but it sounds forced. “That sounds fun.”
My frown deepens. “You don’t have to come, Hailes. The only reason I suggested it is because I’m selfish and want you by my side for as long as we’re both off work. But I understand if you don’t want to come. I’ll just pick you up after.”
She shakes her head before I’m even finished talking. “No, it’s okay, I want to come. I’ll come.”
She’s lying, I know it. I know this girl better than she knows herself some days, and I know she doesn’t want to come with me tomorrow.
I study her profile as she watches the TV and avoids meeting my eyes. She probably knows I’m reading her lie. But why? Why is she lying about something little like this?
And suddenly, a boulder drops into my stomach. The feeling that’s been sitting with me all day, about something bad happening… this is it. This is what I knew was coming.
My whole body goes cold with realization.
Not just about the reason for her lie, but about what that lie means.
She doesn’t want to say no to me. Even about something like this, she can’t bring herself to tell me no.
I try again, this time with desperation lacing my words. “Hailey, I promise it’s fine if you don’t want to go. I completely understand. It’s boring, and the only reason you’d be going is because I’m a selfish bastard. Just stay at home, I’ll pick you up after.”
“I said I want to go,” she says tightly, her body stiff in my arms. She’s annoyed.
I swallow roughly, my palms going clammy with nerves. “Tell me no,” I whisper brokenly. “Just tell me no, Hailes.”
I need her to say no. Ineedher to say no.
I need her to stand up for herself. I need her to show me that shecan.
Her gaze shoots to me in confusion and annoyance. “What? No, I said I’d go. I’m going.” Then she turns back to the TV, effectively ending our conversation.
I close my eyes, the pain of our current reality washing through me like a tidal wave. A wave that sees only destruction in its path and that can’t be derailed, no matter how badly I wish I could change things.
It just… is.