Elise finally lets me go. She smells a little like baby powder. I wonder if she's put her children to bed for the night. She has a nanny, but like most women in my family, insists on mothering her own children as often as she can, the nanny reserved for the times she has to travel.
She whispers in my ear, "Be brave, sister. I hate this for you. I hate that this family and mine are bound by these crazy rules and expectations, and we have no choice. It's wrong, we all know it’s wrong, but we also know that we're not going to change it.” Her voice catches. “I hope that he's good to you. I hope that he's faithful. You must tell us how he treats you. If he mistreats you…”
Her voice trails off. We know the truth. She’s only placating me. It won’t matter if I tell her he mistreats me. As much as I appreciate her concern, how stupid does she think I am? I saw the way my mother was treated by my father. I've known for a long time that my brothers are faithful to their own wives, but that my cousins haven’t always been. Infidelity’s a part of life among our kind, and that’s only one of the many ways he could hurt me.
"Will I get to say goodbye to Mama?” I wonder out loud.
My voice sounds small like I’m a child, and it's no surprise to me because I feel exactly like a child who just wants her mama.
Rosa shakes her head. "I doubt it, "she says sadly. "I'm sorry, Marialena. I can't imagine Romeo would allow her to. She caused… a scene downstairs.” Rosa looks away. “It's for your own good." She flinches when she says that. She's been on the receiving end of that pat line for so long, she knows how it grates. "What I mean is… Romeo can't risk inciting Capo’s anger. He's a dangerous man, he could hurt Mama. If she yelled at him again, or, God forbid, struck him…"
I have to be brave. My foolhardy ways have come to haunt me. It's my fault my family’s in this situation.
I can't risk anybody else being hurt because of me. My only choice is to move forward bravely.
"Maybe he won't be as bad as people say he is," I say, trying to be ever the optimist. Rosa and Elise share a glance that I don't quite understand, and Elise nods her head.
"Maybe," she whispers. "But it doesn't matter what the rules say, Marialena. If he truly does hurt you… If he really is mean to you…" She shakes her head, draws in a breath. But when she speaks again, her voice is pure steel. She looks into my eyes and takes one of my hands in both of hers. “I don't care what the rules are. If he hurts you, he dies. You call me. I still have connections. I still know people.”
Elise and Rosa may be women in the mob, which we all know gives them less power than their husbands, but they are not pushovers. Both of them have keen skills, massive quantities of money saved, and connections all over the world. I swallow the lump in my throat and nod. God, I hope I don’t have to take her up on that. Still, it’s a small consolation.
"Thank you,” I say, my voice shaking. "I love you. I'll miss you, and—”
“Marialena! Are you girls almost done?" Romeo yells from the foot of the stairs. Romeo might pretend that this doesn't disturb him, that he's being pragmatic and detached, but I know better. My older brother loves me, and this is killing him. I hate that I've put him in this position. I hate that so many decisions are out of my hands. I hate that anyone is hurting because of me.
I'll make the most of it. I've never met a man I couldn’t charm, and maybe… just maybe… there’s hope with my new husband.
Rosa cracks the door and shouts, "Yes, we're coming down now."
"Maybe he'll let me come home for holidays," I say hollowly. It seems like a big ask, and I doubt that he’ll really be okay with that anyway. I don't think he'll let me come home at all. “Does anybody know where he lives?"
Elise nods. “He's in Tampa, Florida," she says. "One of the biggest crime rings north of Mexico." She shakes her head.
Tampa. Tampa in July? It’ll be so damnhot. Am I actually going to experience hell on earth?
I sigh and turn to Rosa, trying with everything I have to put a smile I don't feel on my face. I feel like a mannequin. "Did you pack a bathing suit?" I ask her as Rosa puts her hand on my shoulder.
“I did," she says. "Maybe you'll really like the home."
I can make the most of this… maybe it’s a nice house. Maybe it’s got a beach view. Maybe he likes to work all day and only come home to his wife when he— my cheeks flush.
No, I won’t think of that now.
I don't respond because we both know the old saying. A home isn't where I live, home is where the people I love live. Home is where my heart is. I don't care if he lives in the most magnificent mansion anyone has ever seen, it won't be home and we both know it.
“You told me this so many times,” I say to Rosa. "You told me to stop. You told me to mind my own business. You told me that I would get in trouble. But I didn't wanna listen.” My voice cracks.
I swipe angrily at the tears that fall down my cheeks. Rosa sighs.
"I never wanted to stop you from being who you are. I didn't want to stop you from having to make choices that will be out of your control. But you still have a choice, Marialena. You can make this work. Observe everything you can.” She pauses and when she speaks again, her voice wavers but holds conviction. “You are aRossiwoman. And there isn't one of us that isn't strong and resilient, andyou are no different. I don't know anything about the circumstances you're going into, but I can tell you that I'm pretty confident it will not be easy. I don’t…think… he's a monster. There’s something about him that’s… human. But he definitely isn't someone who knows you or loves you. He'll probably take care of your most basic needs, and that's all you need. You make the most of it.” Her voice trembles. “You bring that beautiful, vibrant, positive heart of yours with you and you make the most of this. You stay strong when it's hard. And you call me every damn day. Staystrong.And maybe, just maybe…" She falters. Maybe she doesn't want to give me false hope.
I force a smile. For her sake. "I will do my best." I flash a grin, even as my heart shatters. "Who can resist this smile?"
I know who. That ruthless monster downstairs, that’s who.
I've neverseen my brothers quake in fear of another man. But Romeo did. Romeo Rossi doesn’t usually show fear.
Romeo shouts again from downstairs, more impatient now. “It’s time, girls. Now!”