“Shall we eat soon?” Lou asked, smacking his lips.
Portia narrowed her eyes at him. “What are you up to, Lou?”
He chuckled. “Oh, nothing, nothing,” he lied badly on purpose. “I’m just hungrier than a goat without balls.”
“I don’t even know what that means,” Portia laughed. “But I suspect that it’s not a good thing.” She raised a hand to her friend when Lou opened his mouth to…no doubt…give an explanation about just what the hell a goat without balls had to do with hunger. “We should go and settle at our table before this one becomes more petulant than a child.”
“I’m already more petulant than a child,” Lou shot with a chuckle. “And I have no intention to change. Once a rebel, always a rebel.”
“What my dear Lou istryingto say is that he enjoys making a scene and making others uncomfortable.”
“It’s the most fun game,” Lou explained, shrugging. “You can tell a whole lot about someone when you prank them. It’s all in their reaction. If they react like you’ve ruined their lives and all you did was give them a drink that makes them a little bitburny, well, that’s on them. Not on me.”
“Burny?” Cooper asked, blanching.
“You don’t want to know.” Alice laughed.
“What she said,” Portia agreed. “Now, let’s go.” She stood and clapped her hands together.
“Oh, I have a better idea of where we could go for breakfast,” Lou announced, also coming to his feet.
Portia gave him a stern look. “Lou, no. You know the rules.”
“Do I? Well, shit. I must have forgotten them.”
“You didnot,” Portia insisted. “You’re just being a…”
“Petulant child!” Lou sang. The demon snapped his fingers, and all of a sudden, Portia’s office was filled with a giant black hole.
“Is that aportal?” Alice gasped, stepping closer to it in fascination.
Lou beamed with pride. “Her name is Bertha. Isn’t she beautiful? She’s my pride and joy.”
Cooper wondered how a lowly demonic bartender could have this kind of magic. Surely, creating a portal out of nowhere was something only done by the more powerful demons. There was no time to ask for more information or try to understandhowa portal could even open in such a small space of an office.
“Bertha?” Alice asked, her fingers reaching out for the edges of the portal. “Did you name her?”
“Yup,” Lou answered. “Named her and created her. She really is like a child to me.”
Portia rolled her eyes. “I had the imps make us a table on the beach. It’s got all of your favorites, Lou. Where will this portal even take us?”
“Now there’s a line of questioning I can get behind,” Cooper said. “Is this even safe? Is it stable? I heard that portals aren’t exactly stable.”
Lou cackled dramatically, surprising them all except Portia, who took a step toward Bertha the portal. “Stable? Portals? Oh, this is safe enough.” Lou saluted them with two fingers to his temple before he vanished into the portal.
Alice gasped next to Cooper. “Oh, he just went through. I’ve always wanted to travel by portal, but obviously, I don’t have the magic juice for that. Only high-level demons can do that.”
“You’ll have to ask Lou to explain it all to you one day, but I can’t promise that he will answer. There is no one in the world more secretive than Lou.”
“That’s a little bit shocking,” Cooper said. “It looks like his whole life is right there for everyone to see.”
Portia nodded. “Ah, yes, but things aren’t always what they appear to be.”
“There’s a cryptic line for you,” Cooper grumbled.
“Lou plays the fool, but he opened this portal for some unknown reason. Does that sound like a man who lives his life for everyone to see?” Portia smiled.
“Come on,” Alice took his hand in hers and beamed up at him. “Let’s do it. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to actually use a portal.”