She laughed and said, “Lucy, just think about it seriously. You could be missing out on something really great by clinging on to Luke. I mean, I know he’s the future beta, but titles aren’t everything.”
I didn’t even bother responding. Sure, maybe at first it was all about the title, but that was before I really got to know him, and he really got to know me. No, we were perfect for each other, and there was nobody that would ever convince me otherwise, even if she was a fucking Goddess.
Chapter 20
Jasmine
BeforeIknewit,it was halfway through September. I had found myself preoccupied with school and work, and temple choir had started up again. We were now rehearsing every night of the week as we would be performing during the alpha ceremony. At work, Lucy and Valerie were busy prepping for all of the desserts and the huge cake they’d have to prepare for the occasion. The whole pack was alive with excitement for something that hadn’t occurred for over forty years—the transition from one alpha to the next.
I had given up on checking my text thread with Blake. He had never responded. I was disappointed and wondered if it was something I did—was it the revelation about my panic attacks or the finality of our decision to just remain friends? Perhaps he had no desire to see me if our relationship would no longer be physical. But, I reminded myself, he did cosign a loan for me, and that isn’t something that someone who wants you out of their life would do. Deciding it was for the best to not dwell on it and accept that we weren’t meant to be together anyway, I did my best to shove him from my mind. But then, sometimes, late at night, I’d find myself thinking about him again, my thoughts spiraling.
One day, after working the early shift, I went down to the pack gym. As part of our obligations, all pack members were required to stay physically fit to a minimal standard in case of an attack. While warriors were trained to a much higher standard and to fight on the front lines, it was important that everyone be capable of defending themselves should it become necessary. Of course, being a perfectionist and overachiever, I always made sure that I was to the top standard. Lucy, on the other hand, was often failing physical tests and had to be put on remediation programs.
Going in the middle of the day, during the week, meant that the gym wouldn’t be too crowded. I preferred this. I always felt awkward lifting weights and sweating in front of the males of the pack. Plus, when it got busy, the equipment I wanted to use often wasn’t available.
Today was my leg day. After stretching and warming up, I went to the squat rack. I added all the weights I needed and began squatting. Suddenly I noticed someone in my peripheral vision and looked to my left to see Blake intently watching me.
After reracking the barbell, I removed my headphones and looked up at him as he spoke. “Damn, that’s hot.” He came over and began adding up all the weights I’d placed on the barbell. “Holy shit, you squat 320 pounds?” While werewolves were naturally much stronger than humans, this amount was still impressive for a female werewolf, and I knew that. “I’m about to go to your house and convince your parents to let me recruit you as a warrior.”
“What are you doing here? Don’t you have your own gym?” I asked, giving him attitude and knowing that the alpha, beta, and warriors all had a much nicer gym that they used, separate from the one used by the general population. I felt wary about him turning up all of a sudden after ignoring my existence for at least three weeks. But, damn, he did look hot.
No, stop thinking that! He is bad news.
“I was in here planning a new training schedule for the whole pack. We’re going to have required sparring and ask that everyone see a trainer to be put on a personalized workout regimen. It’s one of the first things I’m going to announce after becoming alpha.”
“Is that what you’ve been up to?”
“It’s one of the things. To be honest, I’ve been really busy. There’s a lot going on. I don’t want to worry you but the situation with our enemy pack’s not looking good right now.” I noticed he wasn’t making eye contact with me.
“Is that why I haven’t heard from you for weeks now?” I asked, hoping I didn’t sound accusatory. The last thing I wanted was for him to think I was sitting at home pining for him. It stung so much that, in reality, that was exactly what I’d pathetically been doing. Ugh, I was so ashamed of myself!
“It’s one of the reasons. I also thought you might want some space.”
My stomach dropped at his response. That’s exactly what someone said when they, themselves, wanted space. Was I like his crazy ex-girlfriend that he just ghosted and expected not to slash his tires in frustration? Shit, now I was sounding like a crazy ex-girlfriend in my mind. Goddess, what was happening to me? I was the one who had said our relationship was too much for me, so maybe he really was just doing what I’d asked.
After mulling everything over in my mind, I finally replied, “Oh, okay.” I didn’t know what else to say. I had no claim to him, and he had no obligations to me. Although, logically, I knew that was true, I couldn’t help the sting I felt that Blake had decided to distance himself from me and was now showing up as if he didn’t do anything out of the ordinary. Then, I reminded myself, he wasn’t my mate and I needed to just get over him.
We held each other’s gaze for at least a minute. Finally, Blake spoke again. “How’s your new car?”
“It’s good. Thanks again for your help. My family bought the whole thing, so that was good.” I forced myself to smile.
He smiled back at me, his eyes softening. “I’m sorry I haven’t been in contact. I’ll be really busy for the next week with the lead-up to the alpha ceremony and Luke coming back to town. But maybe after the dust settles, I can take you up on your offer for lunch and a ride in your new car.”
“I don’t know. School’s been really busy lately,” I replied, thinking I shouldn’t be so quick to just accept his offer. Why did he think it was okay to make me feel like I was so special to him and then just fall off the face of the earth? But I couldn’t help desperately wanting to give in as he stood there, his thin T-shirt revealing his sculpted body and his icy blue eyes peering into mine. Goddess, what was wrong with me? Why did he have to be so hot? Maybe if he was just average-looking this wouldn’t be so difficult.
He seemed as if he was about to speak again, half opening his mouth, but he didn’t, closing it. I wondered what he wanted to say. After shaking his head, he finally said, “It was really nice to see you. I’ve got to go though.” He touched me on my shoulder, then turned on his heel to walk away.
“See you,” I called back. He put his hand up in a wave, not turning back around. I, once again, felt confused by him, which had now grown to becoming frustrated with him and frustrated with myself for letting him get to me like this. He affected me far too much for someone who wasn’t even my mate.
Blake
After weeks of shoving Jasmine from my mind, she had hurled herself back into it. I hadn’t expected to be so excited to see her at the gym. Seeing her made me realize how much I had missed her. And, damn. I knew she was fit, but I had no idea that she could squat so much weight. Thinking about it made my cock rock-hard. I loved a tough woman. And now that I knew she could pump iron like a warrior, I was a goner.
I wanted to stay longer and had an overwhelming desire to kiss her again. Hell, I’d love to have stayed and worked out with her. But there was just too much going on. The alpha ceremony was less than a week away, and Luke was due back home later today.
I had just exited the gym and was striding toward my car when someone stopped me.
“Blake!” she yelled, forcing me to turn my head. I felt a blistering pain in my chest as the person calling my name approached me. My hands turned into fists, digging what little nails I had into my palms, staving off the impulse to run that was coursing through my body at that moment. I watched helplessly as the figure moved closer to me—Ria’s older sister, BB.