That man was flawless. Roman Grier might’ve been America’s Boyfriend, but Kingston Grier could’ve been America’s Fuck Buddy.
Wait, that didn’t sound right.
But our arrangement was just so seamless. We’d spend a few minutes talking about our days, Zoe, and whatever else came up, and then we’d go upstairs to King’s bedroom or his shower or his crazy huge jacuzzi tub and everything else would melt away. Then it was just me and King and the amazing things he could do to my body. I tried to keep up, but I was seriously under-experienced. I’d only been with two men in my whole life until King, and both were definitely a downgrade compared to what I had now. King could make me laugh and cry and scream in frustration, and I loved every minute.
Which made this visit with my parents especially awkward.
Mom looked up from Zoe’s smiling face. “So how’s it going withKingston Grier?”
I winced and closed my eyes. I still wasn’t good at the whole pretending thing. And my parents could always tell when I was lying. So I deflected. “You met the man. You don’t have to call him by his whole name. And can you please not say it like that?”
The leer when she’d said King’s name made me so uncomfortable now.
“Thank you!” Dad yelled from the kitchen. A beat later, he appeared around the corner, his hands dripping from his turn doing the dishes. “I’ve been telling her that since we met him. He’s a real person to us now. You’re working for him. His daughter is in our house. Stop lusting after the man.”
“Oh, pish posh. It’s just a little harmless fun, you two.” Mom waved a hand at us then giggled when Zoe repeated the action. Mom’s smile fell away as she took in my dad’s scowl. “Fine. I get it. I’ll stop.”
Dad grunted in response and went back into the kitchen.
“It was just a joke, you know!” Mom shouted at his retreating back before turning to me and rolling her eyes. “I’m practically old enough to be his mother. It was just silly fun.”
“I don’t think it was funny to Dad.” Or me, not that I was going to tell her why. “How would you feel if he went on and on about that one actress from that action flick he loved last summer? What was her name?”
Mom shook her head. “I don’t remember, but I get what you’re saying. I said I’ll stop. Can we talk about something else? Like how it’s going with Kingston?”
At least she left off the last name this time. “I don’t really spend much time with him. My days are full of Miss Zoe here. Pretty sure I see our bodyguard Mak more than King. But um, I’m really loving the job. I kinda think I might’ve found what I was meant to do.”
“I thought this was a temporary summer position. You don’t want to go back to teaching?”
“I just…” I sighed. “There’s something about spending all day with Zoe. I still get that excitement from teaching her things, but it’s more just being with her. Seeing her face first thing in the morning. Laughing at the silly things she does during dinner. Reading to her at bedtime. I’ve kinda become her person, and I like that. And honestly, Mom, the pay is way better than teaching. I’m paying my loans off and have started actually saving some money.”
“Sounds more like being a mom than a career.”
She said it like an off-hand comment, but it hit me with all the power of a punch, leaving me slightly breathless.
I might never be a mom.
“Bwi-are sad?” Zoe’s sweet voice snapped me out of my pain induced trance. Her little hand patted my knee. “Kiss better?”
I smiled tremulously at Zoe. “I would love a kiss, sweetie.” I pulled Zoe into my lap, let her kiss my cheek, and then gasped. “All better.”
Her little arms wrapped around my neck as she hugged me tight.
“Oh honey, I’m sorry.” Mom’s voice pulled me out of the sweet moment with Zoe.
I brushed a hand over Zoe’s lush brown curls. “It’s okay, Mom. We all know having a family might not be possible for me. This could be as close as I’ll likely get, and I love this little girl to pieces already.”
“I hate that you think that isn’t possible. There are so many ways to build a family—marrying into one, adoption, surrogacy. Don’t give up. You will be a wonderful mother.”
I nodded slowly then made a silly face at Zoe. “I thought you wanted me to have a career, stand on my own, and not depend on a man. You’d be okay with me being just a mom?”
“Hey, I was ‘just a mom’ for ten years while you and your sister were little. Don’t knock it.”
“I forgot about that. Feels like you’ve been working in the elementary school office for forever.”
“You and me both. But I loved every minute that I got to stay home with you and Ella.” Mom tilted her head and wrinkled her nose. “Well, not every minute. Sometimes you really got on my nerves. And some of it was really gross—like the poopy diapers and the vomit. And potty training!”
“Mom. Are you trying to talk me into or out of having a family of my own here?”