Hope patted Felicity’s hands reassuringly, and Felicity found that she did trust the Duchess. For the first time in weeks, Felicity did not feel despair over her future but hope.
“I think it is time we returned to the ball. I may be a duchess, but the title only gets you so far. One must also be kind. It would not do for us to hide out here any longer as much as I would love to avoid the chaos that is sure to ensue.”
Hope looped her arm through Felicity’s elbow, and the two swished back to the doors.
With a gentle tug, Hope stopped them both before turning to Felicity with a smile and saying, “I think you and I are going to get along famously.”
Felicity returned the smile and led them inside.
Her lightheartedness did not last long. The tension inside the ballroom was almost as thick as the heat that coated the air. Despite the music playing and the couples filling the dance floor, Felicity felt the room’s eyes back on her.
“Stand up tall, darling. Do not allow them to affect you. You will be a duchess, after all.”
Hope’s reminder sent the corners of her mouth up again, and Felicity heeded the advice. Unlike all the times her mother nagged and nitpicked on Felicity’s posture and hair and gowns, Hope’s words were like a soothing balm over her rattled nerves.
“There you are, my dear. I was beginning to wonder where you had gone,” her mother said through clenched teeth.
“You watched her leave with Her Grace out to the balcony,” Delilah cut in, calling her mother out on her lies. “You have stood here watching them the entire time they were outside.”
“Enough, Delilah,” her mother commanded, embarrassment flaming in her cheeks, her words sharp. “I do not wish to hear another word from you.”
Ignoring them entirely, Hope looked at Felicity with an exasperated smile and said, “Remember what I said. We will speak again soon. Now, I must be off. There are several friends here that I have not seen in ages. Excuse me.”
And with that, the Duchess left Felicity with her family, amazing her with the grace and poise the Dowager seemed to emanate.
“I cannot believe you!” her mother screeched as soon as Hope was out of ear shot. “How dare you carry on with a duke the way you have without telling me. Here I am, bending over backwards for you to marry Lord Roberts when you have been hiding a richer man behind these childish letters.”
Felicity was shocked that her mother even knew about her correspondence with Benjamin. One look at Delilah’s guilty face told her all she needed to know about where her mother had gotten that information. Her sister mouthed an apology, but in truth, Felicity did not mind. She knew her mother would have pestered Delilah into revealing her secret. Like herself, Delilah was an innocent caught up in the mistakes of their parents.
“What will the Abbotts think? What will the ton think?”
She almost scoffed as her mother’s words revealed what concerned her about this whole affair the most. Of course, her mother did not think twice about the fact that Felicity was almost forced to marry one man when she loved another. All that mattered was the opinion of the ton. The thought made Felicity suddenly very weary.
“How selfish of me to think of these things when I have not considered how Lord Roberts must be feeling!”
Any remaining affection Felicity might have felt for her mother vanished after that comment. Her weariness turned to stone cold resolve.
“Lord Roberts?” Felicity said incredulously. “You are concerned about him? And where is he right now? When confronted with another man who showed interest in his fiancé, instead of staying to defend my honor, he sulked outside with his flask and has still not returned.”
Her mother fixed her eyes on Felicity with raised eyebrows. She once thought her mother’s blue eyes were beautiful and inviting, like the ocean. Now she only saw the ice-cold snow.
“You are unbelievable.” Those steely eyes went wide at Felicity's accusation, but she continued anyway. “We are in this situation because of you. You insist on having a new wardrobe every season, the nicest home in town we can find, and the biggest carriage, all without the money to pay for it. Because of your incessant need to fit in with society, yourchildrencould be facing starvation. And what do you do? Do you curb your frivolous spending? Do you sell your unused things to ensure there is a roof and food on the table?”
“Felicity,” her mother warned as she began to draw the attention of the crowd.
She didn’t care. She continued with her speech.
“No! You wouldn’t dream of it. Instead, you pawn off your eldest daughter to whichever man is willing to pay the most, hoping it will get you through to next season when you can repeat it all over again with your other three daughters.”
“Felicity!” her mother said again, this time a bit louder, a bit sharper.
“You were willing to sell me to a man who had hordes of mistresses and a reputation for destroying unmarried ladies. You were willing to overlook that he is twice my age and at least that rude — all so you could have the latest fashions.”
She paused then, taking in a breath, allowing it to calm her down. Her mother stood, motionless, stunned speechless by Felicity’s outburst. After two years of thinking these things, it felt liberating to actually say them. She had spent her entire life being the perfect daughter, the ideal child. She never argued, never disobeyed, never did anything that might have disappointed her parents. Until now. Felicity had decided she would never again allow her mother to dictate her life. With her mind made up, she took a step towards her mother and lowered her voice.
“The least you could have done, as my mother, was pretend to care about my feelings. And now it is too late. I will not marry the Earl of Edgware. If he will have me, I will marry Benjamin. I will have the title and the wealth to do all the things you expect me to do. And I will do them, but you will have no say. If you want me to fund my sisters’ dowries, coming out seasons, or even their education, it will be at my discretion. Do not expect a blank check. Do not expect an allowance. You will not get one. Not from me.”
With the words out of her mouth, Felicity felt a weight lifted off of her shoulders. Felicity knew she had once again drawn the crowd’s attention, and while they could not hear what she was saying, it was no doubt apparent that she was less than pleased. She had expected her mother to argue, to fight back, to say something about how unfair or improper she was being. Instead, she stood there, flickering her gaze between Felicity, Delilah, and the floor.