“A stupid kid?” I snap, following.
“I meant before, not now, obviously,” he says.
“So, what is she now, Nathan?” Rebecca demands.
“Nothing. She’s nothing . . . well, not nothing, but not a thing,” he explains badly. “She’s my best friend’s little sister.”
“And that’s it?” I snap. “That’s all I am to you?”
“I’m getting married, Andi,” he growls.
“And don’t I know it,” I mutter. “Because the month after you marry her, I’ll be having our baby!”
They both stare at me, and then, from out of nowhere, Beth runs up the path screaming profanities. She pushes me hard. “You slept with my brother!”
“You had sex with her?” screeches Rebecca.
“Yes!” I yell back at the exact time Nate yells, “No!”
We all fall silent. “Well, which is it?” asks Beth.
“I’m four months pregnant,” I say, glaring at him for denying it.
“But not by me, Bug. We didn’t have sex. I mean, we kissed for sure, but I walked you home and put you into bed.” Nate looks serious.
I frown. “I remember . . . but I remember . . .”
“You were pretty wasted, Bug. That’s why I didn’t, yah know—” He stops, wincing, then rushes to correct himself. “Not that I would have. I just mean I didn’t because there’s no way I would when a girl is so out of it.”
I shake my head, memories assaulting my mind. He turned up to find me after Beck’s funeral. Nyx had just left, and Nate brought a bottle of vodka. We drank it by Beck’s graveside. We kissed. I told him my feelings, and he admitted liking me back. We kissed more, and I remember he was in my room. He helped me undress. And then my mind is blank. I have fuzzy memories of more kissing and hands on my body. I remember feeling loved and cherished. “But I thought—”
“Bug, I swear on Beth’s life, we didn’t sleep together,” he promises.
I back away from them, feeling confused and panicked. If it wasn’t him, then what the fuck happened that night?
Dad is sober when I get home. He’s watching television with the same blank look he always has on his face, but there’s no bottle in his hand and no empties surrounding him. “Good day?” he asks.
“Not really,” I mutter. “You?”
“I signed up for the meetings,” he mutters glumly.
“Meetings?” I ask.
“AA,” he says, rolling his eyes. “I don’t know if it will help, but it’s got to do something if people go to it.”
I stare at him. “You really signed up?”
He nods. “Who would have thought I’d ever get to this point in my life where I’d be joining Alcoholics Anonymous?”
I sit down and grab his hand in mine. “I am so proud of you, Dad.”
“Well, let’s not get too excited. I’ve still got to get to the meeting.”
I smile, and he does too. It’s been so long, I forgot how bright his face looked with it. “You can do it. I believe in you.”
The second I close my bedroom door, I cry. It’s not the silent tears I usually go for. Today, it’s the ugly crying that wracks my whole body. I don’t understand what’s happening. I was so sure I spent the night with Nate. Curling into a ball on my bed, I let the tears fall.
Later, when the bed dips and Nyx’s arms circle me, I relax. I have some questions for him, but I’m afraid they might scare him off, and so I lay in his arms and let him comfort me.