Beth hung her head, unable to meet Ken's eyes. She couldn't face the anger and disappointment that had to be lingering there. The hurt. He was so stiff against her, she could practically feel his churning thoughts. She'd waited too long to tell him the truth, and now she would have to pay the consequences of her indecision and fear.
"You have ... you have a daughter?" he choked. That pain was so visceral it cut Beth to the bone. But the moment the pain crunched down to anger, she felt it, too. "You told me you didn't have another man in your life. That even when you couldn't remember me—"
"That's the truth. I tried to move on, but I couldn't!"
"So then how do you explain her then? That little girl?" A growl seeped into Ken's voice, and all the barriers he'd let down around her went up again one by one. He climbed out of bed, his face a mask of fury. "I trusted you to tell the truth."
She tried to grab his hand and pull him back into bed, but he shuffled out of the way while he jerkily put his clothes back on. "Please, sit, let me explain."
"You have no idea how hard it was for me to come here yesterday, tail between my legs, to see you. You have no fuckingidea—I wanted to be angry! I wanted to hate you! But I couldn't. I needed you so badly it hurt. I put my heart on a platter for you, and you go stabbing me with a fucking fork."
"Ken, I know it was hard! But please believe me, I didn't intend to hide this from you. I just needed more time to figure out how to approach the topic."
"Iknewyou were hiding something from me. I fucking knew it. I should have trusted my instincts. Why did you keep this from me?"
"I didn't know how to tell you!" Beth could feel the anger growing inside her again, too, her wolf's rage forming into both a weapon and a shield. "We've had one conversation, Ken! One! You expect me to spill everything in one go?"
"The fact that you gave birth to another man's child is kind of fucking important!"
"She'syourdaughter, Ken."
Emotions mixed on Ken's face. Anger was most prominent at first, then confusion, and hurt, anger again, and then fear. His face was an unmasked boiling pot of everything going through his mind and body right then. His mouth opened and closed several times, grasping at words only for them to slip away again.
But the longer he went without talking, the more distance grew between them. The more distance put between him and Joanna.
Tears came unbidden to Beth's eyes. She'd fucked up. She had one chance to get this right, but she fucked up. She let her lust get the better of her yesterday, and instead of using her head to make sure all the pieces of her life didn't turn into weapons, she'd chosen to forget about it all and spend all evening and night with Ken, losing themselves in their bodies.
But her tears were like water to Ken's fire, and his shoulders slumped. The anger boiled away to show the vulnerability beneath the harsher emotions he'd been using to defend himself.
"Mine? How—" Ken's voice cracked. "How is that possible? How is she mine?"
"I'm sorry, there's still so much I didn't get to tell you. Will you give me the chance to explain?"
"Yes, he whispered. I need to know. It's driving me crazy!"
Beth paused to consider how to tell him the truth, but she figured getting right to the point was what she, and Ken, both needed right now.
"I was pregnant when I found the goblins and they took my memories."
"And you didn't tell me?" There was a hint of danger in his voice still, pained and hurt.
"I ... I had only just found out!" she explained. "That's why I went on such a long run in the first place. I was conflicted and afraid of what you would think."
"You knew that I wanted pups of my own. We were planning to start a family. I would have been happy. You had to have known that."
"I did, but ... it was so much sooner than I'd planned. I thought we would have more time together. I was just shocked by the news and needed some space."
Ken's face softened as he slowly sat back down on the edge of the bed. "I wish you had told me."
"Me too." Beth sniffled. "If I hadn't hesitated, none of this would have happened. I wouldn't have gone so far into the woods. I wouldn't have found those goblins, and the—the last four years wouldn't have happened!"
"Hey." Ken reached out and Beth went into his arms willingly, her body shaking with pent-up sobs. They rocked back and forth together, neither of them speaking as they both silently processed this moment together. He was so warm and comforting, his arms like a cocoon of protection. "You can't blame yourself for this."
"I can, and I do. If I hadn't been afraid of what you would think ... if I had a better idea of what I'd wanted ... neither of us would have suffered for the last fourteen years. Joanna wouldn't have had to live without a father."
Ken stroked her hair and back in smooth, calming motions. "If you were pregnant with her when you left, and you couldn't remember me, how did you explain it?"
"The goblins led me to believe I'd gotten pregnant after a one-night-stand with someone I didn't know how to contact."