I sigh and run my hands through my hair. “I don’t know what to say, Clem.”
“You think I’m a bad person, don’t you?” She wrings her clasped hands. “You think I’m a monster too.”
“Hey!” I walk over and put a finger under her chin, tipping her face up. “You could never be a monster to me.”
“Do you understand why I can’t leave now?” she says. “Where else am I going to be able to do this?”
I refuse to believe she’s beyond saving.
He has enabled her behavior.
How would she know what she is missing if she hasn’t had a chance to live an ordinary life?
“Don’t you want to be able to see more of the world?” I ask. “There’s more to life than keeping pets and fucking Dad’s friends.”
“But I don’t know who I am,” she whispers. “I’m in control of everything here. Daddy loves me, and so do his friends.”
“Did they love you yesterday while they were watching you get hurt and shooting their loads inside your bleeding ass?”
She winces, letting her true feelings show.
“I make my pets hurt too, August,” she says matter-of-factly. “Doesn’t that make me as bad as them and deserving of the pain? It’s only fair.”
No matter what she does, I know I’ll never truly think badly of her. It doesn’t matter how many fucked up things she does or how many men she’s killed. She’s still my Clemmie.
“Fair would be giving life a chance above ground,” I say, stroking her cheek. I can’t keep my hands off her. I want to take her out of these godforsaken tunnels. I may not know how good life can be yet, but I want to be better for her.For us.“Don’t you want to see what else is out there?”
She rises from the chair and takes my hand. “I’ve not been as interested in my pets since I met you, August. I’m different when you’re around. I don’t need to... you know... but out there, I don’t know whether I can exist without this part of myself.”
“But I’ll be right there with you,” I say. I don’t say that I’d kill for her again, but I know I would. “If you leave with me, every day can be like today. We can start over. Would you like that?”
This usually is when she’d argue, but she whispers, “I’ll think about it.”
CHAPTER12
Clemmie
My underground denis usually my favorite place to go. It’s where I come to relax and unwind, but August’s words echo around my head.
Did I want to try and live above ground? I’ve read about life outside of these walls.
I love my creations. My special room bursting with my beloved treasures is the best part about our home and the tunnels beneath it, but is August right about there being more to life than this? This is all I’ve ever known. Daddy has explained that people out there would never understand me. He said I don’t belong anywhere but here, but Daddy also said he would never hurt me, and he did last night.
What if everything Daddy and I have is built on a lie?
August has shown me how orgasms feel even better when you like the person you’re fucking, so maybe he’s telling the truth about everything else too.
I let August out of the tunnels an hour ago. He’ll be back in the main house already. Daddy will return soon, and I don’t want him to know about August being here. This place is our little secret.
“What do you think I should do?” I ask.
My pet is no help. All he does is whimper as I stick my needle through his ear. He’s slowly losing consciousness from the drugs. Crafting isn’t giving me my usual buzz, and I’m clumsy. I pride myself on the care I take with my creations, but I’ve already dropped two stitches.
Fuck. I sit astride my pet, not bothered by the smell, and curse as the thread slips out. I lick the end of it and push it through the needle’s eye. If he wakes and sees me here, he won’t be able to move with his legs and arms tied down.
I’m done with his ears. I move onto his mouth and start sewing his lips closed with black thread. I enjoy the feeling of his skin popping as I pull it through. He’s like a doll. My special doll who will be silent forever.
A bang from further down the tunnels startles me.