Eli waved when he spotted me. I offered him a fleeting smile as I took my seat at the table. Ice water awaited me, as well as a glass of chardonnay.
“I went ahead and ordered for you,” he said. “Since your cab ride was significantly slower than mine.”
“Thank you.” I took a sip of water, ignoring the comment on my transportation. “Thanks for meeting with me.”
“Of course.” He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “My pleasure.”
I cleared my throat, popping open my sleek briefcase to bring out the documents. When the first folder hit the table, Eli leaned forward, waving it away.
“No, no. Just wait.”
I glanced around the table. He had brought nothing. No counter-documents. No folders. Not even a pen. “What?”
“Listen, I’ve been thinking. We need to reconfigure this approach altogether.”
I blinked a few times, schooling my face to not crumple or betray any ounce of the trepidation snaking through my veins. “What are you envisioning?”
He sighed, scooting forward so that he could lean on the table, elbows propped on the white tablecloth. “Cora…we’re both guilty here.”
I didn’t like where this was headed. Not one bit. “How so?”
“We’ve both committed sins in the eyes of our families. I mean, look at you.” He gestured at me, disgust licking at his features. “You’re living with your ex-boyfriend, and you think that’s okay. I mean, you’re lucky I even agreed to entertain you today.”
I rolled my lips inward. There was so much to unpack every time he opened his mouth. And I was tired of the heavy lifting. He just barreled right along, adding more weight.
“Listen, I know I get too drunk sometimes. But it’s not like I don’t have a good reason. I mean, what do you honestly expect?” He seared me with an imploring look. “You’ve been lying to me for the entire duration of our marriage. Leading me on. Making me think you wanted a family when really you’ve been taking birth control behind my back.”
I swallowed hard, looking around the restaurant to avoid his gaze. For how intolerable he was, he had a point. One that didn’t just cut into me, it hit an artery. I’d probably always carry guilt over this, because Ihadlied to him for the duration of our marriage. I’d always blame myself for buying into the idea that I’d be happy in a business-first marriage. For turning away true love when I had it, to follow the demands and responsibilities that somebody else required me to maintain.
“Don’t you have anything to say about that, Cora?”
I clenched my teeth, forcing myself to look at him. “I didn’t want to bring kids into an unhappy marriage. Kids deserve parents who at least like each other. Besides, you really think you’re ready for kids?”
“I’ve been ready since the beginning. And I think things might have turned out a little fucking better if you’d bucked up and done what you were supposed to do from the start.”
His words crashed over me, adding a fun extra layer of misogyny to the shit pile. The worst part was that he sounded genuinely upset about it. Maybe Ihaddeprived him of something he genuinely wanted.
But I shouldn’t have to give him a child just because he wanted one. I needed to want a baby too.
“Not only have you been lying to me, keeping my unborn children from me, you’ve also been living with another man.” He threw his hands up into the air. “I have a lot of excellent reasons to make this divorce as messy as I possibly can. Any judge would agree with me.”
“There’s no need to make it messy unless you’re being a masochist,” I told him through gritted teeth. “I’ve given you everything. I don’t want anything. I just want your last name, and everything about you, as far away from me as possible.”
An evil smile glinted on his lips. “Honey, that’s not possible. Not anymore. In fact, that ship sailed the second I joined the Margulis board. You’re not getting rid of me for the rest of your life. So why don’t you just face the facts? It’s easier to stay married. There’s more in it for you that way, too.”
The server returned, and we clamped our mouths shut. She set down a plate of stuffed mushrooms, white cheese melted in a fancy zig-zag across the plate.
Once she’d offered to refill our drinks and drifted away to another table, Eli steepled his fingers.
“What could there possibly be for me if I stay in this marriage?” My voice came out a hiss. “You’ve already proven I can’t trust you. I’m not safe around you. You want what I don’t want to give you. Let’s just part ways and quit pretending.”
He dropped his chin, his gaze hardening. “You need to act right. If you aren’t careful, you’re going to become an embarrassment. Look at this scandal with the Scarechilds. Have we not always told you those sleazes need to be avoided? They’re disgusting, and they’re pulling you into their trap. Whatever you think you have with that prick, you’re wrong. It’s going to be short-lived. They live in a fantasy world, and your real-life reputation will tank because of them. It’s not a question of if, but when.”
“And how are they so much worse than a family like mine?” I challenged him, leaning so far over the table the steam from the mushrooms hit my chin. “I’ve got a father who won’t speak to me unless I do things his way. I’ve got a husband who thinks raping me is part of a healthy marriage. At least with the Fairchilds, I can fucking breathe. I just want to be free, Eli. Why can’t you give me that?”
An unamused smile flicked at his lips. “Free. That’s so quaint. Don’t you realize youarefree? You’re living the dream. How can you not see that? If you don’t want the life you have, then nothing will make you happy. It’s as simple as that.”
“You’re wrong.” I fought a swell of emotion. It was risky to have such a heated conversation in public, but it was the only way I’d feel safe around him. The clanking of silverware and the rush of voices around us drowned out our discussion. “And even if I’m the wrong one, I want to find out for myself. Who cares if I’m unhappy in something else? It doesn’t affect you. Let me be the unhappy one.”