She crawled away from Sullivan, and the question he shouldn’t have asked of her again. She moved to the very end of the bed, far from him, before glancing back. “No. Again, no. If you’re going to ask me to marry you each time we are intimate, then I must leave and will never return.”
He laughed, and then propped himself up on one arm, facing her. He was silent a long time, studying her. “So, you want me. Will let me make love to you, but only if it’s never to be forever.”
She studied the earl with exasperation. He was persistent, she’d give him that.
Unfortunately, he was simply too delicious like this to stay mad with for long. Tousled, sweaty, and vulnerable. Bare-chested and sated suited him very well. He bore no resemblance to the sad and awkward widow who had sought her out, and her cousins, a year ago to engage their counsel on making a second marriage. He seemed happier, which was undoubtedly due to his climax. He had finally been with another woman, and now he could bed someone else, too.
Cautiously, she moved up the bed toward him, lying on her side as she held his gaze. “Yes, that’s all I want.”
His smile was slow in coming. “I like this, too. But I am in earnest. I want to make an honest woman of you in the end.”
Aurora rolled out of bed immediately, annoyed by his stubbornness.
After so many refusals, he should know better by now. He’d asked for her hand, and each time she’d declined, he clearly could not believe he would be denied. Could he not fathom that in becoming his forever, she’d be trapped by rules that would never protect her?
Marriage would give him every control over her life. That was the last thing she would give anyone.
She glanced at his discarded clothing upon the floor and stepped over them to begin dressing to take her leave.
She glanced at the earl discreetly, watching him reclining so at ease on the bed. He seemed to see nothing wrong with what they’d done, or in lying about naked, either. Aurora had proven her unsuitability to be anyone’s bride today. He’d bedded her thoroughly. Taken his pleasure with her. The lack of blood on the sheets, the lack of evidence of the loss of her innocence, should give him pause when he took a moment to consider what that meant.
She’d showed him beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was no innocent young miss meant for marriage, and a rather poor matchmaker besides. She heaved a sigh at that lost opportunity to have him as a first client. She couldn’t depend on him to help her business begin anymore by writing a letter of reference, either. Aurora would have to look elsewhere for a recommendation, and return the money he’d already paid her.
He patted the space beside him. “Come back to bed.”
Aurora didn’t snap to do his bidding. But she turned to look at him. “Do you intend to tell anyone about what I did with you today?”
“No. Of course not.” He grinned. “This will be our secret, until you’re ready for it not to be.”
“It must remain a secret forever, my lord,” she told him curtly.
His smile slipped away. “You did not like it. Making love to me. I thought…”
“Of course, I enjoyed being with you.” Clearly she would have to explain the rest, and it would spoil anything they’d ever done together, or ever could do. “I have something to say, and you will not like what you hear,” she warned.
He jumped off the bed and pulled her into his arms before she could say more. “Listen. We can talk about whatever troubles you about my proposal another time. Come back to bed. There is so much more we might share today, because who knows what tomorrow will bring. I don’t have to know your reasons not to make a match with me, but I do want to be with you now. Any way I can.”
She searched his face, wondering if he truly meant that. What they’d shared so far had been much more pleasurable than she’d expected, but it couldn’t last. She really ought to go.
But she also didn’t want to. She had no plans. It was past the time to make morning calls to her friends. She had no one to go home to at Wharton House, and she would likely dine alone in her room tonight unless she heard from Eugenia beforehand, which seemed unlikely. If Sullivan could cease proposing, she would not have thought of going at all yet. There was really no need to stop indulging with him, though she couldn’t imagine their intimacy could get better.
She put her hands on his bare chest for the first time. He was solid, well-muscled and the warmth of his skin drove the chill from her soul momentarily. “If I stay, you would have to promise to stop asking me to marry you.”
“All right. I promise I will not ask you again today. But know that I am always thinking of your place in my life,” he promised.
Aurora closed her eyes. Gods, he was stubborn. He’d be glad to be rid of her when he knew the truth about her. It was on the tip of her tongue to spill her secret here and now, despite his wishes…but he would look at her with pity or disgust after she was done with the telling. “My place is where I want it to be.”
“Indeed,” he said, surprising her with his easy acceptance. “But I will do my best to convince you that it’s to be with me, too, someday,” he vowed, and then swept her back into his arms and carried her to the bed. “Just give me a chance and the time to prove I’m not so bad,” he murmured, before he settled her onto the bed.
He wasn’t the problem. When Aurora looked up to tell him that, the earl loomed over her wearing that wicked grin he’d only recently begun sharing with her. Her warnings went unsaid as he leaned in to kiss her again.
He was even more desirable when he was playful like this. And for some reason, he wanted to be hers.
Aurora lay back slowly on the bed, her pulse and anticipation growing as he bowed over her stomach and started to trace around her belly button with his talented tongue. She’d be a fool to end the affair before she’d wrung every pleasure from their secret meetings. A lover like him might never come her way again.