Rather than putting it off any longer, I dial her number, but she doesn’t answer. Maybe she’s still sleeping off her hangover. It’s still early.
I figure I’ll clean myself up, so I go shower. I dial her number again once I’m dressed. Still no answer.
Unease makes my digestive tract feel like river rapids.
Fuck it, I’ll just go to her place. At the very least, I need to make sure she got home all right.
This early on a Saturday morning, it doesn’t take me long to make it to her building. The morning is bitter cold, and since I left my place in a rush, I don’t have a hat or gloves. After I buzz her apartment, I rub my hands together and wait for her to answer.
Unease turns to worry when there’s no answer. I hit the button again and wait.
When I hear something behind me, I turn, hoping it will be Kenzie, but I find Mrs. Hoffmeister at the bottom of the stairs with a plastic bag from the corner store.
I rush down the steps to her. “Mrs. Hoffmeister. I’m so glad to see you. Do you know if Kenzie is home?”
She narrows her eyes at me and gives me the once-over. “Shouldn’t you know that, lover boy?”
“Something… happened last night. I just want to make sure she’s okay.”
She brushes past me and starts slowly up the stairs. “Maybe she just doesn’t want to see you.”
“Do you know if she made it home all right last night?” I ask again.
She shrugs.
“I know you sit out here late smoking. Did you see her at all?”
“Maybe I did. Maybe I didn’t.” She reaches the top step and takes a break to catch her breath.
I walk back up the steps and stand beside her. “Will you let me in the building? I need to see her. Even if it’s just to make sure she’s okay. If she doesn’t want to talk to me, I’ll leave. I swear.” I hold up my hands to show her I mean no harm.
The old woman sighs and studies me. “Fine. But I’m only letting you in because you’re good for her. But if she doesn’t want to see you, you must leave.”
I nod a bunch of times. “I will. I just need to make sure she’s okay.”
Mrs. Hoffmeister grumbles something I can’t make out and unlocks the building door. She turns to look at me over her shoulder. “Don’t make me regret this.”
As soon as the door is open, I bolt past her. “I won’t!”
I take the stairs two at a time and bang on Kenzie’s door when I reach it.
“Kenzie, are you in there? Please open up. I need to know you’re okay.”
I hear nothing for a minute, but when I’m about to knock again, the locks on the door disengage and the door whips open. Despite how rough Kenzie looks, my muscles relax with relief that she made it home okay.
“What are you doing here?” Her voice is rough, and from how puffy her eyes are, it’s clear she’s been crying. A fissure forms in my heart, knowing I’m the one who caused those tears.
“I had to make sure you got home after I…”
“You don’t need to worry about me anymore, Andrew. You made it pretty clear last night that I’m an embarrassment to you.”
I cringe at the memory of what I said. “I didn’t mean it. I don’t know what happened. The whole thing just brought up a lot of stuff for me from the past and that, coupled with the realization that I was falling in—”
She holds up her hand as though she might just cover my mouth with her hand if I finish that sentence. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare say it now.”
“I panicked. I’m sorry, Kenzie.” I reach out to take her shoulders, but she steps back. The door starts to close between us, and I stick my foot out to stop it.
“I have never felt more rejected or embarrassed or unloved than I did last night and that’s saying something for me.” She points at herself.