“Morrigan’s wrath does not just drain the core to feed her power, it has changed a very life source for the animals here because they live off it too. They are now more demon then they ever were their true selves.”
“That’s horrible,” she said in sorrow.
“It is why we sought you, Baby Fawn.”
“Fawn?” she asked why I’d give her such a nickname. To be honest, I wasn’t sure why I did either, but I wouldn’t take it back because it fit her so well.
“You are young and innocent with eyes that showcase that. It is how I met you, and it is how I want to remember you when this is said and done.”
Even with more darkness settling over us, I could see the red stain her cheeks from not knowing how to accept such a compliment. Both of us left the shrubbery and headed back to camp in silence. Now, I wished to know what was going through her mind right now about what I had said. I wished to know a lot more about her than I should’ve cared about.
7
Briar
Morning came faster than I wanted. Some might question why I wished to continue sleeping after a century of it, but they didn’t know I didn’t dream while I was under. It was why it felt like only yesterday that I went to sleep from the curse. Last night, I was finally able to see Philip’s loving smile. He often gave it to me when he woke me from my naps in the meadow.
We’d often lie over a blanket with fruits and cheese for our lunch. Our dreams and goals were often shared in the quiet space between us. Last night, I remembered our first kiss and how much it thrilled me to know he shared my feelings. I was terrified to try and kiss him, but I knew I wanted to the moment my heart skipped a beat when we stared lovingly into each other’s eyes.
Under the fur that the men had given me, I let myself cry. The sun hadn’t risen yet, so I didn’t think anyone would be up to hear me. Gripping the flesh over my heart, I wanted to apply pressure to the pain that throbbed so deeply inside. They told me over ten thousand moons had past, but that was for them. In my eyes, I lost everyone I loved only yesterday.
While Philip’s loss ripped my heart out, I suffered from knowing Áine was gone and the parents I didn’t get to know well enough, creating too many what ifs in my mind. Áine was my mother, even if she didn’t birth me herself. And now, I had to face the son who abandoned her.
Movement happened from above my head in my little nest of furs, jarring me enough to leave my dooming thoughts. When the hand retreated, I lifted my blanket just enough to reveal Alasdair. On his knees, he lingered right above my head near the rekindled fire. I never even paid attention to the crackling sounds. He shrugged his shoulders to tell me not to mention it. “You’re not the only one who finds time to grieve while the others sleep.”
It was then I saw the redness around his irises and swelling around his lids. He had been crying too. Taking the handkerchief he stuffed into my blanket, I cleaned my eyes and thanked him. “It’s hard to cope with my pain when it feels like only yesterday that I saw them all, alive and well.”
“If it’s any consolation, even if it had been a hundred years that you remembered it happening, you’d still feel the pain today. Somethings just don’t disappear.” He stood up and walked to the fire, sitting on a log that was perched next to it.
Feeling a pull to him, I rose from my furs and sat beside him on the log. Neither of us looked at each other as we stared into the light the fire provided. Unlike Bain, the rest of us felt the chill in the air. It didn’t help knowing we had to hike up a mountain that was covered in snow.
Around us, I took in how everyone slept with Bain lying on his furs instead of in between them. Cullen and Fergus were nested near each other, feeding off their body warmth. Smirking, I tried to keep it to myself that it was boyishly cute to see them so innocent.
“They’ll be out for another hour. They don’t have the nightmares like I do.” Grabbing a stick, he stoked the flames nearest to us. “I usually get breakfast going right before they rise.”
“What do you mean they don’t have the nightmares?” I backtracked on what he said. For a man who was focused on lifting my skirt yesterday, he was a whole different man now. With his vulnerability exposed, he felt easier to relate with.
“I was there when my parents were killed. I was there when Morrigan gutted them like fish and forced my younger sisters to watch. I was next in line to be executed when the others showed up. We were able to hold Morrigan off long enough to get out and hide, but that day hasn’t left my nightmares in fifteen years. Every time I close my eyes, I see my mother looking afraid but not from her death. She was more terrified about what would happen to me after she was gone. It was during our shared stare that I promised to save my sisters any way I could.”
“Did you?” Clearing the lump in my throat, I righted myself to ask what I was trying to. “Did you save them?”
“Both are safe in the stronghold I run as a sanctuary for the water elementals.” Jousting the fire again, he turned his head my way. “Your kind’s princes are handed a kingdom after their father passes, having a council and staff keeping everything up and running in between leaders. I was thrown into mine as the whole city was lit up in flames. I had to run my people into the woods as I lost my kingdom. The crown hadn’t even passed properly to me before I failed at my role. That doesn’t just go away.”
“But you saved them!” I exclaimed! “You got them out!”
“It’s not that simple, Briar. People view us princes as too weak to truly save them because we haven’t done a trial to prove our strength. They forget we were thrown into this, and that we’re actively trying to fix it.”
Staying silent, I understood him just a little more. He was a man that didn’t let people see this side of him, and I wasn’t supposed to. If I had slept normally, I wouldn’t have woken up to discover this hidden secret about the prince. I wouldn’t have known he suffered from trauma too. Maybe there was something worth seeing in the man that ruffled my feathers with unwarranted flirts.
Finding my own stick, I poked the flame as snow began to fall around us. “I felt like a failure from being sent to the tallest tower while war raged on our doorstep. I wasn’t on the frontline to see it all, but I saw glimpses when I ran by each window. Every house in the village was up in flames while Morrigan’s magic ripped through the ground around the castle. It was this toxic green that told me we’d never recover from it.”
“I understand what you’re saying because I saw what her magic can do when our kingdom fell from it.” His face was crestfallen, hating his past. My hand reached for his, giving it a squeeze right before the others began stirring. Just as quickly as I had touched him, I let go to not give away his suffering.
He got up and left to start cooking what looked to be oatmeal. The others joined us, eating smaller portions to ensure their supply lasted. None of us were ready for the hike ahead because it was sending us up a snowy peak. Hopefully, this book of Áine’s provided more information to help us.
Sighing, I stood up and helped pack up the campsite. Alasdair was done revealing who he truly was to me, so I needed to recenter my focus. It was going to be a long day.
8